Proton (cars)
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“We charge the exact opposite as our equally rubbish rivals, Electron Cars!”
~ Proton Car Motto
“They just buy stuff from Mitsubishi and sell it as their own huh?”
~ Captain Obvious on Proton Car
“I have simple tastes, i just don't buy a proton”
~ Oscar Wilde on Proton Car
Proton (pronounced as Porn-tonne, Potong, Tronton, Megatron, Pr0nton or Plotong) is the first and original national car manufacturer of Malaysia. Unlike Perodua who claim themselves as the number 1 national car manufacturer of Malaysia is actually a conspiracy, a betrayal and a big time spy from Toyota and Daihatsu. Proton is actually an insidious Malaysia (Bolehland) Boleh Government's agency which is secretly helping the undeserving Malaysian (Bolehan) to own a damn fucking car, no matter how wrecked it is.
Proton sells cars with 4 wheels that really can move, that are re-badged and assembled from damaged and faulty old Mitsubishi models.The only problem: Almost every consumer will have a stiff neck after continually reversing the car for 3 hours a day. Thanks to the overall stupidity of Malaysian consumers, until today most of them haven't realized that their 'national' vehicle that they're driving is actually a Mitsubishi. The slogan for Proton is Dare To Change, which suits the company well because they dare to change the Mitsubishi model badges and then claim those cars as their own. That's dishonest, illegal and even morally wrong but hey this is Bolehland. Anything goes. Malaysia Boleh!!!!
- Remarks: Malaysia Boleh! - translation "Malaysia can do it!" is the slogan declared by Malaysia's government to boost up the spirit of Malaysian that they can do almost everything. However, the slogan later proven not to boost up anybody’s spirits in Malaysia but often used by the citizens to mock the government.
Apart from that, Proton are believed to be the original inventors of, and to build the car bumper from thick cardboard that gets broken easily unlike others.
[edit] The Great Proton Cars
The Proton Saga was the first 'car' introduced to the unsuspecting public in 1985 which is still sold even today with its over 21 24-year old Mitsubishi engine and chassis. The earliest models were actually very robust and reliable, because very little changes were made to the re-badged Japanese cars. People liked Proton that time and wanted better cars in the future. However, the idiots in EON decided that they wanted to make extra profit by cutting production costs - screw what they consumers want, they say. Ergo, they replaced the high-quality Japanese chassis parts with third-hand (s)crap materials from China, Vietnam and Botswana, so that they can charge the costumers the same exact price with the newer, far crappier editions of their Proton Sagas.
As quoted by Jeremy Clarkson in Top Gay : what is the different between other automotive company and proton ?
Proton is a company created entirely to make money, where all the engineers and workers keep developing new ways to cut cost n safety features off their cars in order to keep production cost down and ask poor malaysian to pay more.
“Aiya scare what? Proton is protekted by gaberment because it was the Government-Link-Company kan? If Proton bankrupt then the gahpamen will shame dan the only Malaysia's pride is gone lah!”
~ the Proton Cronies
“If the country is trying very hard to produce something which would stand to benefit us in return why are we making so much fuss out of it. Just see the new proton. isn't THIS AN IMPROVEMENT? Come on lah jangan duk caci sana sini”
~ Proton
After that the second model is Proton Wira which was introduced in 1993. It was sold like blue VCDs in a night market. The Malaysians actually thought that this car is THE SHIT unlike the Proton Saga, but it turned out that the car is more expensive but of even poorer quality. Proton realize what Malaysian consumer need, a poor quality car proven to be more popular. Proton Wira gave its' buyers a lingering headache (more of a butt ache cos the car willl hit whatever hump on the road) which made them always think and remember the car company that ripped them off. (I will remember you... remember Proton this car maker~)
“Car for Malaysia market no need any quality lah, because like or not they also force to buy our car punya!”
~ The Proton theory
After the overwhelming success of Proton Wira (in that they made millions overnight cheating Malaysians), Proton introduced more re-badged cars into the market such as Satria, Putra, Perdana, Tiara, Juara, Jumbuck, Waja, Gen-2, Arena, Savvy - expectedly with declining quality, assembly as well as customer service. The management believes that quantity is more important than quality. If the car is of poor quality the owner must always replace it for new parts, thus generating another source of income. Since the average middle class Malaysians are too poor to consider other cars, they have no choice but to buy them anyway or else they have to walk to their destination.
“A truly rubbish junk car from the Asia! The Proton Junk-2 Ken-tut.”
~ Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gay
[edit] Proton's Power
All Proton car owners will proudly tell you their car's air-condition system is the best unlike any other(well only just for a while~). Their car quality must be the worst special among any car around the world to gain more popularity.
- Unique assembly loops exposed between parts to gain more fresh air into your car.
- Cheap and fragile plastic components to ensure that the owners always replace new parts to service their car.
- No anti-rust coat on body - the iron oxide makes the car look even more beautiful than it is.
- Special noise effect over the car nothing more exhilarating than hearing the car engines beat the audio system to it.
- Problematic engine and gearbox system giving the car more power and performance.
- Funny electronic system where the ECU(Electronic Control Unit) in the car will make the driver always in a happy mood even when they are crying.
- Super hard and noisy suspension system giving their car the best suspension setting.
- Inaccurate speedometer which gives drivers the feeling they are driving very fast and furious.
- Power window failure is must to make sure all their car is an original and the trademark for Proton car.[2].
- Chassis inspired by washing machine this make Proton car safer under a collision.
- Spontaneous Combustion stops car theifs( probably blind and deaf)unless you are in the car (you must be blind)
[edit] The Proud Owner of Lotus
Mahathir Mohamad bought Lotus, a British Sport Car manufacture to Proton by using the Malaysians' tax money. Then Proton spread word to people that all their cars are engineered using Lotus technology, and this will mean that their future designs will have great handling like a Porsche, power like a Lamborghini, speed like a Ferrari, pussy magnet power like a McLaren, and so forth (of course, the reality is far from those bullshits).
Not only that, even the steering, rims, bumper, seat, dashboard, carpet, outlook, headlight, exhaust, everything and anything is designed or engineered by Lotus (and so they say). Proton cars will be even been re-badged as Lotus-Proton in some part of the world to gain a better image.(Lotus mah...)
Well OF COURSE the new cars have a Lotus feel in them. Just like the previous ones have a Mitsubishi feel in them. Which means the cars feel like being built by a dozen fat blokes in a shed in Essex rather than in a (claimed) sophisticated-robotized factory.But hey, Malaysia Boleh kan? If they could do it in the past, they could do it again!
“Hoi...Don't Play-Play!!! My car is engineered by LOTUS!!! You want challenge me???”
~ The Proton's Power, Just Believe It Lah...
“ Wah, you know something, ah?! My proton car so strong like Milo Tin!!!”
~ Random Proton Owner(Proton CEO later commented that Proton cars are in fact made out of recycled Milo Tin)...
“ I'll gladly trade the Lotus-developed suspension with the Toyota-developed doortrims.”
~ James May on Proton Gen-2
[edit] Proton in The World
Proton feels that they are very important in the world's automotive industry due to their over-proud Malaysia Boleh spirit. The truth is 94% of Proton cars are sold inside Malaysia. Every year Proton 'successfully' sold around 150,000 units of their car(except in 2006 when they were only able to sell 110,000 units). Compared to Russian, Chinese or Indian car manufacturers such as GAZ, Lada, Daihatsu, Daewoo, Ssangyong, Hyundai, Tata, Maruti, Chery, Yahama, Hongda, Geely, Great Wall, Hafei or whatever, the number of Proton sales of 150,000 units is just a big joke.
For exported cars, Proton will only use 'Grade A' parts with better assembly methods, as well as other customer services such as ridiculously long warranty periods and a high bunch of free gifts upon purchase. They make sure that the car quality is much superior than the cars for the domestic markets. But even with those extra buffs, Proton cars didn't really make it outside Malaysia anyway.
“Make sure that our exported cars are well built because the Britons are very fussy. Or else, the car will be rejected and sent back to Malaysia. Car for Malaysia market? Tak apa lah, no need quality control since poor quality will make sure they always replace and service their car. More profit for us. ”
~ actual quote from the Proton management team
Proton is currently trying to improve its range and regain its market share especially in Malaysia. Good luck to Proton on this front. While some feeble attempts have been made to introduce 'new' models, one just can't help noticing the now 22-year old Proton Sagas is still in production and remains one of Proton's 'Best Seller' (because it is the cheapest of the shitty cars).
Proton is an assembler of very cheap and very nasty cars in Malaysia. Malaysians have suffered greatly from this corporation hell bent on making money rather than having a passion to build good cars that the country can actually take pride in. The quality is terrible, a fact well known among Malaysians and abroad. Just sit in any Malaysian taxi to experience Proton first-hand. You will regret it. Even the local Malaysian trishaws produce less vibration and noise than a Proton car. They last a lot longer before breaking down too, BTW.
Another benchmark of Proton success is they successfully penetrated into the American automotive market defeating other giant car maker such as Ford, GM, Ferrari and even Toyota to be sold in to Amish Community. It is the only known vehicle in the world that ever passed the strict regulation of Amish Transportation guide with flying colours results as other car maker failed miserably. One of the most important guidelines known is "Ye shall not have evil technology in Ye Donkey coach". At first the marketing strategy is to give out free horse for every proton purchased but latter phased out and replaced by "free one proton with one horse purchase" and "for one donkey purchased get 2 proton for free"
Proton recently tried to penetrate the Indonesian market, which is a stupid move really, considering the relationship between the two countries. It's actually like selling Israel-made goods in Palestine, really, only worse. Of course, despite years of expensive-priced crap cars, Indonesians are quick to point out that Protons are rubbish and they rather work harder, save more money, and buy a better car, or not buy a car in first place. Not a bad move, since walking is actually cheaper than a Proton, and it's actually safer and more comfortable.
“What the fuck is this? It smells and looks worse than any other taxis in other third-world countries! I even used a Toyota Vios in Indonesia, a Toyota Corolla in Thailand and a Toyota Innova in the Philippines! Low standard cheap vehicraps! That is more fucking horrible than communist China or Russia! If I were a Malaysian, I'd rather my country don't produce any national cars(rebadged japanese left-overs) than any of these. Jeez! ”
~ An angry tourist after using the Proton Saga Taxi in Malaysia, Malayshit truly shit
They also claim that they have received a lot of bookings in China and Tomyamland, average 11 car in China and 200 car sold in Tomyamland per month. Nobody would be stupid enough to buy a Proton which will cost more than a Volkswagen or Toyota in those two countries where good cars are really cheap.
[edit] Proton Car Models
[edit] Still In Production
- Potong Sucka (since 1960)
This coffin looking shit box was introduced in 1985 since the birth of Proton. The Proton Saga had been given more facelifts than Michael Jackson; again and again in 1991, 1993, 2003, 2006, 2010, 2020 for more (supposedly) chicks-inducing looks. In 1993 the Saga was rebadged as Saga Iswara (Is-shit). In 1998 the Saga Iswara became modern AGAIN by receiving a new more sporty (Proton owns Lotus, so all cars in its line-up has to look "sporty", see?) steering than its original squarish look.
In 2003, a sports version of Saga Iswara powered by a miserable 55kw pushrod, Milo-tin cylinder 3000cc disposable, intercooled engine with Nissan Skyline taillights and Subaru Impreza WRX exhaust system hit the market. It was designed to be sent to junkyards after one drag race, much like a disposable camera. Sometime in 2004, the Saga Iswara was facelifted again and renamed as Saga LMST (Like My ShiT, or alternaively, Lame Miserable Slow Turd). This new version featured enlarged tits both front and rear. It also had an Audi TT-inspired dashboard, Civic Type R bucket-seat and 1st generation Lotus Elise-derived dashboard display. As you can see, Proton try very hard to be sporty, just like Lotus.
In 2006, the Saga was facelifted yet AGAIN!!!! to include a new Wau profiled grille to match the rest of the family. In 2007 Proton is selling Saga at RM26,999 (around 7000USD to celebrate poor sales of Proton cars in 2006. Proton is trying to lure more innocent Malaysians into buying this piece of shit box with the slogan "Thank you Malaysian over 22 years for the support of Proton". Insiders said that the actual message is "Thank you Malaysian, over 22 years you have been stupid enough to let us rip your ass off"
It is believed that Proton will continue selling the Proton Saga till the end of time as they claim that this Saga is a icon car of Malaysia just like the Rover's (now BMW) Mini, old Volkswagen Beetle or Land Rover Defender.
- Proton Gila (since 1993)
A rebadged 1991 Mitsubishi Lancer, production still continues until today as this car still outsells the Gen2 which should be the Wira Replacement Model. Proton Wira is believe to have been given facelifts for more than 5 times in its current lifespan. Wira is the most wanted vehicle by every Ah Beng and Ah Long as it is fierce looking and is easilly converted into a Lancer Evolution VIIIIIIIIIII just by a muffler swap.
A sport version of Wira know as WiSE or Wira Sohai Edition were introduce in 2003 with Mugen-look ricer's-standard-issue spoiler, GT-Wing from Nissan Silvia and Subaru Impreza WRX exhaust system powered by 150cc 1 cylinder engine. The car is capable of smoking Evolution 9s, Ferrari F360s or Mazda RX8s on the Federal Highway during peak hours.
- Proton Suckria
It actually a rebadge from the 1991 Mitsubishi Mirage/Colt. A much slower model, GTi was introduced in 1998. Proton claimed it was engineered and the handling done by LOTUS, which is stupid because, again, it's a Mitsubishi left-over. The GTi version did not last long because Ah Beng out there can do a better job than Proton by fitting a more powerful Mitsubishi engine. There is also an R3 limited edition of Satria which Proton claims was 0.1 second faster than the normal version.
The new Sucktria Neonzzz replaced the old Sucktria, with even more underpowered maCAMPRO engine. CAMPRO is the short for CAMe with PROblems which truly shows the quality of Satria Neonzz. Shortly after the release of Satria Neonzz, Potong came out with another faster more expensive version of Neonzz called the Satria Neonzzz CPS (Cincai-Pasang-Sahaja) which in plain english means VTEC.
- Proton Banana (since 1995)
This is the most exclusive car made by Proton; again it was rebadge from the 1990 Nissan Skyline R32 GTR but with more doors. The engine is powered by 6 bananas which is also engineered by LOTUS.
This car claims to have the same standard as BMW 7 Series, Mercedes Benz S-Class or Lexus LS460. So once upon a time Mahathir MohaMAD asked all the government ministers to use the Banana as their official vehicle, but it failed as he switched back to a Mercedes S-Class to his office because he can;t afford having a car whose engine might blow up when being chased by terrorists.
Actually, the car is rebadged Mitshitbushit Galant, but not the current one, or even the one before the current one. Originally a quite decent car, Proton managed to ruin this car with a body panel so thin you can see through it, an engine with less power than Swiss Army, and to top it off, a big-sized-taxi image for what supposed to be a flagship car. Well done!
- Proton Wajunk! (since 2000)
Wajunk is Asian BMW. Why buy BMW when you can have Wajunk? Proton tells the whole world that Wajunk is their first own built, design and engineered vehicle. However the secret was outed when the straight-faced Nazis from BMW strip-search the Wajunk and found that Wajunk is (again) built on Mitsubishi Carisma's floorplan. And look at that headlamps! VW Jetta anyone?
In UK, Wajunk is renamed to Proton Impian to prevent the British from pronounce it as "Wah JUNK!". A few years later, Proton came out with another longer version of Wajunk known as "Proton Chancellor" Rumours had it that it was as luxurious as a Mercedes Benz S-Class, Royce Rolls Phantom or even a Maybach but no one knows, partly because no one has ever sat in this car because it was more expensive than the most expensive car in this world, and partly because it's all bullshit.
In 2007 the Waja was finally given a facelift and fitted with the miserable unreliable maCamPro engine to replace the ye'olde but more reliable Mitsubishi 4G18. The new WaJunk Campro is design to look more like a VW Jetta/Bora to show the possibity of Proton, being a typical Malaysian, claiming that the brand "Volkswagen" are actually theirs.
Various wannabe ricer fan clubs were formed by Waja owners such as WPC (World-Wide Pokemon Club or WAN PAN CHAT). These hardcore say their Wajas are capable of smoking a Nissan 350Z on traffic light sprint, Mercedes C200K on a top speed run and were more comfortable than BMW 745Li. More adventurous members even spend as much as RM70,000 modernizing their Waja (more than the car worth) for performance parts and claimed to have smoked a Mazda RX7 or a Porsche Cayman at Sepong Sepang circuit. A top speed is 250km/h is claimed, thanks to the ever so inaccurate speedometer. nobody give a fucks anyway
- Proton Arena (since 2002)
This car was actually a failure from Proton R&D to destroy the Toyota Hilux. Wira front end joined with Hilux rear end, and you get an Arena! A typical Bodohland Multi purpose potong car that can be sporty and bring 2 cow on it. It is believed to be the only front wheel drive truck in this world powered by the same puny engine in a Wira. It is solely built for the purpose of getting Proton as "the first car manufacturer to make a front-drive truck", however, instead of that glitering award, Proton was awarded "the first car manufacturer which actually knows nothing about cars". It gives you the impression that you are in the Wild Wild West riding a bronco with its wonderful suspension. In reality, what you're doing is delivering refrigerators and smoking those rubbers like all ricers on every red light. You want SPORTY and MORE POWER? Optional GT-Wing is available and guaranteed to add 19231236625 raging horse power. Bugatti Veyron? Piece of cake!!
- Proton Junk2 (since 2003)
Gen2 or known as the Junk2 means Proton will start making 2nd generation junk engineered by monkeys built in jungle clearings by people who failed their primary 6 mathematics. Duit Kopi inspired Proton management to buy all the low quality parts from Barbieputra company to build the Junk2. Junk2 is powered by an ex-renault engine. Actually, the engine was a part of a trial and error research conducted by renault (it was the error though). Rather than pay someone to crush the engine, renault sold the design to a bunch of imbecile called Proton Engineers.
This car was meant as a "WRX (Wira Replacement Xtreme)" but unfortunately, the older and prettier Proton Gila still has much higher sales figures than its replacement model, mainly due to the fact that the Junk2 is widely known as a highly unreliable machine, with frequent complaints of faulty power windows, gearbox failure, mechanical problem, leaking roof, paint defect, unable to open door, cheap plastic interior, faulty ECU, mechanical problem, leaking roof, faulty power windows, gearbox failure, mechanical problem, leaking roof, paint defect, cheap plastic interior, faulty ECU, gearbox failure, mechanical problem, leaking roof, paint defect, unable to open door, mechanical problem, leaking roof, paint defect, unable to open door, cheap plastic interior, faulty ECU, mechanical problem, leaking roof, faulty power windows, gearbox failure, mechanical problem, leaking roof, paint defect, unable to open door,cheap plastic interior, faulty ECU, mechanical problem, leaking roof, faulty power windows, gearbox failure, mechanical problem, leaking roof, paint defect, unable to open door, cheap plastic interior and various other trademark Proton defects. (repeat)
The tag of Proton own built engine is called maCamRy or Cam Ry. However, Toyota sue Proton because it resembled the name of one of it's cars, so Proton crossed the "Ry" and put "Pro" instead maCampro. Not as claimed by Proton people and the not so accurate and reliable wikipedia[3].
- Proton Sawi (since 2005)
Proton Savvy a.k.a Sawi is a kind of vegetable launch in 2005 as the replacement model for the well known low quality and suicidal depreciating "Proton Tiara". The car is fitted with engine and gearbox sourced from Peanut. Launched with tag line "My first time being ripped off" "My first mistake" "My first heap of junk" "My First Lotus". This model is as of the same range and almost same sound of name as the BerokTua Mawi, a car from Malaysia's second national car project, Perodua.
Proton was supposed to fit Sawi with the not successful CamPro 1.3 engine inside but they noticed the fucked-up CamPro engine was too expensive and too big to fit inside this car which was specifically targeted at the low budget car market.
Sawi is claimed to be super tough and built like a nano-tech-strength-enhanced-super-tank that can withstand an indirect nuclear blast from a Trident missile. Proton advertised that Sawi is too tough to be destroyed so it doesn't need any airbags inside. However, real life testing confirms that it's chassis is just as tough as a creme brulee.
- Proton Persona (New 2007 model)
Persona is a new Protong car Potong from the old Protong Junk2. Proton have not enough money for their R&D to design and built another new junk due to the internal corruption. They come out with an idea, rename, recycle and refurbish the Junk2 which full of quality problem as another new car. What they need is just cut or Potong the ass of Junk2 and joint it with extra 28cm of metal to make it longer larger and spacious and claimed it as a new car. This is believed to be the first Protong car ever that was Potong from Proton!!!
- Proton Sucker BLM
Before the car is announced, it has many alias such as Buruk Lagi Murah(Crap is cheaper) ,Boleh Lepas Mawi(Can over Mawi), Belum Lagi Maju (Not improve yet), Bagi Lu Malu(Make you ashame), and Babi Lembu Malaisial(Pig & cow of Malaisial).
This is the dark resurrection model of the old Sucka since the old Sucka began to rest in peace after 22 year of service(still on sale to clear the old stock).
This is the main model to give Plotong a chance to beat the ProTua Mawi and Siva in terms of size and price. It has bigger chassis, bigger interior, bigger engine, bigger front & rear lamp and bigger doors than the much more expensive Mawi. It also has the power to drive over Mawi with its refined 'Can-not-Pro' engine (which is actually moved from old Junk2 1.3 liter engine).
Some said it has the front look of Audi TT, rear look of Mercedes , and side look of Toyota Vios(what a copy cat design, but again, Malaysia Boleh!!). In fact, it has none of these element found on the retail model, as for the pre-order, the brochure only show the greatest part of the car, not the whole car, and no test drive is provided as the car is sealed until the launching day.
The waiting list to get the car is extremely long with more than 6 month waiting period (very ridiculous, Plotong claims that there are too much orders until not enough time to make more ready stock), but you can paid more RM10million in order to quit from queue immediately and straight away get a whole new Sucka, "A New Sucka Begin".
Frankly, the new Sucka is actually the "Cut and Paste" version of Protong Sawi (currently is recalled back to Plotong factory due to some issue) which been giving a mask plus cosmetic copy from Toyota Altezza. Same like the Persona model it also been Potong and added 35cm of steel recycle from old refrigerator making with an extra butt. All thanks to Protong genius solution of Cut and Paste technology from Microsoft Paint together with the help from Lotus. This budget solution is only cost RM110million ringgit sponsor by the Barisan National.
And Plotong claim it will replace the iconic Proton Sucka(hahahahaha) which been refurbish and reintro since 1985. Can you believe this? Only GOD knows lah...
[edit] Out of Production
- Proton Tiada
The worst vehicle made by Proton in a 1+ years production from 1996. Tiara is rebadge from the 1986 Citroen AX. With the lack of availability of parts and overpriced parts from Proton plus their cool management, in 3 years time the Tiara will only cost around RM2k from its original price of RM35k. Add a couple of years more and it will go the way of the East German Trabant - how do you double its value? Just fill it up with petrol.
- Proton Putra
Umnos
Proton own sports car is a rebadge(Ahhh again~) from the Mitsubishi Mirage Asti. Production was stopped as Proton claimed that too many owners of Putrid had rebadged their vehicles back to the Mitsubishi Mirage and that it was not selling as well as other Proton makes. To save factory space and assembly line for other vehicles, Proton introduced Proton Arena to replace the Putra.
- Proton Juara
The most obvious failed vehicle make by Proton with a stupid name Juara which means Champion in English. This car is claimed by many to be a coffin car, esp when it is black in color. Malaysians were not attracted to this unsporty vehicle which looks more like giant assorted biscuit tins (which is a very accurate hunch, since they were is in fact giant assorted biscuit tins from Giant supermarkets with holes cut out and wheels attached). Production of this car ended after less than a year. Proton blamed it on Mitsubishi as they said this ugly car will bring JE Pigs to Proton, and this car will be the last Mitsubishi rebadge by Proton.
[edit] Rumor/Concept/Prototype Car
Proton is also well known for spreading rumors, hoaxes, bias and bullshit about their upcoming car which handle better than Porsche 911 & faster than Nissan Skyline GTR 35 in Autobahn. Proton once have asked Kleemann to supply a Supercharger for their Satria Neo in 2005 but there is no official update until today. Later, they asked ATOM to help develop a more powerful Campro engine to them. Proton announced a partnership with VW without the agreement from VW. They have even decided the name for the partnership,Voltron. Pathetic, but again, Malaysia Boleh!!
Proton Research & Development used Microsoft Paint to design all their models or rebadge a car from another car manufacturer. This will improve the image of the Proton to tell people that they are still up to date.
As for the partnership talks with Volkswagen, some not-to-be-trusted rumors from Proton Holdings are that they are interested to rebadge a few of the following models - Proton Kumbang(Beetle), Proton Golf GTi, Proton Bugatti Veyron, Proton Gallardo, Proton Touareg and Proton Passat.
Of course, VW isn't as stupid as Proton thought, so VW told Proton to "fuck off and get a life", literally.
[edit] Proton Motorsporting Division (R3)
Proton's Motorsporting Division or better known as R3 (Rubbish, Ruined, Refurbished) is a sub division of Proton specializing in tinting, sticker and pimpify-ing Proton cars.The models pimped by R3 included:
- Suckria R3 - 1.6 Inline-1 NOHC (No Overhead Cam) engine.
- R2D2 Junk.2 R3 - 1.6 Inline-1 TMOHC (Too Much Overhead Cam)
- Sawi R3 - Vista Premium specs. Able to upgrade to Vista Ultimate.
- Wajunk R3 - available in both 1.6 and 1.8 404OHCNF (404 Overhead Cam Not Found)
- Wira "SE" (R3 Shit Edition) - addition of bigger GT-wing giving extra 40bhp (Beng-Hilarious-Power)
R3 headquarter is located within a stone throw away from the infamous Tanjung Rambutan Mental Hospital. Their product includes super dark tints, racing stripes, in-car dildos, vibrators and vaseline-based engine oil.
According to R3 spokesperson, R3P0, they're currently researching on racing stripes that is able to add at least 50hp on the wheel per-inch. This innovative breakthrough is currently still under R&D testing at their Tanjung Rambutan testing facility. It would be made available to Proton enthusiast by the end of 2020.
“We are superior compared to M-Technik, Alpina, AC Schnitzer, Nismo, Sti, AMG, Brabus, Pantiebus etc etc. don play play ...rawr!!!”
~ The Proton R3 SUPERTUNER Team
[edit] Buy Proton if you're Patriotic
Thanks to Proton's "unreliable" car history, in 2006 they suffered a massive drop in sales. Their dealers all ate buns, their share price dropped like a meteor, their managers asked for higher pay and bonus(aiya the hike in oil price), their salesman had nothing to do and became part time Mat Rempit, their female workers forced to work as GRO. Proton blamed their woes on other car companies for selling advanced, up to date, reliable and better quality cars. Tengku Mahaleel dust bin Brainless cried that he government wasn't protecting them(that's what all Malays do), even when the government sent Malaysia into another economic crisis by draining all the country's money into saving Bolehcar.
It was reported that over 10,000 Proton new cars were still stuck in the Proton factory due to their excellent quality. To promote Proton cars, the government ministers told all Malaysians to buy Proton cars if they love their own country. Buy a foreign car or Perodua if you're a retard! (yeah right, and when did the last time you see a government official in a sodding Proton?) Proton desperately tried to boost sales by offering incentives such as free window tints, free GT-Wings, free sex with the salesman's daughter, free Japanese Porn, and to top it all off, zero down payment and zero to pay until the end of time. If all these freebies still don't work (especially the sex part), then cars of all makes over 5 years old shall be banned from the roads unless it is a Proton.
“Company no profit is never mind lah, but promise i got salary la.., and also higher bonus for this year lah please. Tolong lah we are so patriotic and proud to work with Proton!”
~ The Proton management people
“Jika anda tidak beli proton, anda tidak cinta akan negara. (If you don't buy a Goddamn Proton than you hate your own country and you shall be hung in front of public.”
~ Pendidikan Tidak Bermoral Textbook
[edit] The Automotive Globalization
Proton realised they needed to co-operate with some big car manufacturing company to survive. Having LOTUS alone is not enough. In 2007, Proton started to lick Volkswagen's balls, hoping for a partnership. But actually VW were more interested to buy the entire Proton company. The partnership failed due to the Never Ending Policy of Bolehland which does not allow Prorot to be bought and owned by a foreign entity like Volkswagen.
Lately they started to negotiate with Peugeot but still failed due to the same unknown reason. Then they started a rumour saying that General Motors was interested in a partnership with them but later General Motors claimed it was bullshit. On a second try, Proton was back in talks with Volkswagen again but still failed. Proton sent out representatives which is the Malaysian Prime Minister Datuk Seri Amat AduhLah Bodohwi to lick the anus of VW's CEO. It still failed however.
On May 31st 2007, the Pak Lembik@Pak Lah@Pak Tidur dalam meeting proudly announced that Proton doesn't need Volkswagen and the deal is over. (We all know that VW don't give a shit about Proton). On 1st June 2007, Proton reported a loss of over RM600 million. All Malaysians are anticipating for Proton announce bankruptcy but as we know this won't happen because government will keep on pouring Malaysian tax payer's money to save Proton.
Again on June 2007 they spread their second rumor that Volkswagen AG already bought them but later Volkswagen say it was hoax and scam from Proton. WTF is wrong with them?!?!?
As of November Pak Lembik@Pak Lah@Pak Tidur announced that "hey look, we don't actually need to lick Volkswagen's balls in order to make better quality cars. We could actually look for partners from India or Cambodia or some factory in Ghana".
A good thing about this idea is because we will safe our face and "We - Malaysians with our Boleh spirit" will not kowtao to any lame American/English/European Faggots and need to follow their rules in producing quality cars. We will continue to use our own faggoty rule and continue producing low quality cars with or without any partners even if we have to squeeze every damn penny from the citizen.
“You die your problem, you get permanent disability your problem, you pay $70,000 to buy our low quality car your problem, If you don't buy our sucky car is our problem because we need this money to support our high class lifestyle, it doesn't matter if you be eating Maggi Mee every day for the rest of your day as long as we are eating caviar and driving a personal jet on autopilot while humping Models.”
~ The Proton management people
[edit] Protect me more please
From its launch, Proton has been given a high tax and duty exemption from the Government compared to other imported makes. The price differential is enormous.
After the birth of Proton, Japanese/European cars were taxed up to 200% of their actual prices. Poor Malaysians are FORCED to buy buy Proton cars because of the high import taxes of foreign makes. With an average income of around RM1,600 per person, they could afford no better, while some Datuk or Tan Sri could ride around in their BMWs flushed with money from their Ali Baba businesses.
Mengenai kerugian itu, antara lain ia disebabkan jumlah jualan kereta yang kurang kualiti dan juga faktor kebencian pembeli-pembeli kereta kepada Proton yang sering ditunjukkan di dalam siri Top Gear.
The above statement was spoken by one Malaysian minister. Translated it means "As for the losses in Proton, the reasons are low quality and also the reasons of dislike that buyers had for Proton (cars) that was shown in the Top Gear series."
Once again,true to bolehland standards,blaming others is the way to solve their own problems.
[edit] Their biggest enemy after Peroduck
Proton feels a real threat from the appearance of China cars because after a 50% tax & duty, those China cars are still cheaper than Proton cars. So the government imposed a 100% tax & duty on china cars from their original price and made them more expensive than Proton cars.
A few china car manufacturers were interested in building a factory to assemble their own cars to get lower tax for their cars in the local market. However suddenly the government changed the National Automotive Policy (NAP) to force them to comply with a 2:8 local distribution to export ratio. And this is only approved for the assembly of cars with 1.6 liters of displacement and above.
This had resulted in 1 of the China car makers being forced to give Proton to assemble their car while another China car maker changed their original plan to built a assembly factory in Malaysia and shifted to Indonesia.
[edit] Paul Tan, the Loyal Moronic Supporters of Proton
Potong pays RM3 per article for Paul Tan just to say good things about Potong in his Proton-fanboy Automotive Blog. Paul Tan has his cronies, accordmania, the three gay pedophile kjryth, osh_kosh and My Ah Boy who play little napoleons in their pussy "Ploton So Totally Rules" Forum. They will do anything just to protect the Potong namesake and won't admit that Potong is making craps. Any people who disagree with them will be bombarded with lame jokes, poor english, rude words and raped or sodomy by the three gay paedophile kjryth, osh_kosh and My Ah Boy. It will only be time before they come here and rewrite this whole proton subject into praising about Potong.
accordmania drives a shit car like the potong sawi because he can afford REAL CARS, so he hate people in BMWs and always say that the heap-of-misery he drives is still better than BMW or Porsche. kjryth can't afford an Audi so he always bombards people who can afford 1. osh_kosh owns a Ploton version of Audi - the Wajunk but hide the Ploton badge to show how patriotic he is to the national car program, he even changed the engine from his Camproke engine into a Saga 1.3 carburetor engine that has the word "LOTUS" written on it. They are very much like AP Empress Rafidah, always very bold in fighting people, but due to the lack of command of english(what to do, ketuanan melayu ma, bumiputra rox), they always lose and cry, so that they can be forgiven. They always think that they are hell lot of matured, because they simply can't keep up with he english proficiency of others. They will then go crying to Paultan " Paultan , paultan, that guy bully me!" "PAUL TAN will then go ban the other users and then those three stooges will be very happy talking to themselves in their proton world. they have their mini-me potong so totally rulez forum"
The sight of a proton waja causes them to suddenly stand on the road and masturbate. Currently these fans gave themselves a name called "plotongnians" where they set up 200 accounts a person on the Paultan website so that they can post a lot of comments on the Paultan website and praise how good that rubbish bitch son of an MPV the "plotong exora" is eventhough it is really rubbish.
[edit] See also
