“What you call time is actually man.”
The active ingredient in the Super Mario Brothers mushroom which makes Mario or Luigi trip balls.
Originally thought to grow from cow dung, recent carbon dating has suggested that cows were born from their own feces, and in turn came the chemical molecule Psilocybin from the shit cow. Much like the 'Chicken or Egg: who came first' theory and discussion, the 'Cow-Shit and Mushroom Trip' arguments have no end and cause people to eat both, regardless of studies. An ancient cave drawing found in France, circa last week depicts a French Caveman eating shit, yet enjoying the experience. Used for billions of years by tribes of bacteria for ritual and religious purposes, Psilocybin became popular when it was found that it was not an hallucinogenic fungus, somewhere between the death and subsequent resurrection of Mighty Mouse. However, this was later reported to be a typing error on the part of the government, and it was found that it is not only hallucinogenic but also an aphrodisiac. The resulting population explosion and crazy literature was almost too much for the populus to bear and so the drug was made mandatory for all women and men between the ages of three days and 72 years old. This was also found to be a typing error, and the results of this terrible mistake led to the destruction of both the Roman civilization and Atlantis. Today, its use is carefully monitored by the thought police and all those using it better beware, for it is magical and will make you do naughty things.
The active ingredient in psilocybin is "God's very essence"; An eccentric, tye-dye wearing fellow named Rayon told me this once. He also went on to say "yeah man, there's this song you totally need to hear.." and "Dude, I love you man".
The use of Psilocybin was made illegal in the year 12265 B.C. by Christian killbots in an attempt to lower the average male penis size. This prohibition has since resulted in occurrences such as, but not limited to: God hating the Jews, the lack of white basketball players, and the making of Wayne's World.
Starve yourself for a day, then eat it before meeting your girlfriend's parents for the first time. This will save you from ever having to worry about having a girlfriend or ever having to meet her stupid parents ever again. Also remember to always drive while hallucinating this will increase the intensity of the trip. Be sure to hunt for a lot of THC before this endeavor you will definitely need it.
One of the (rumored) best uses of 'shrooms is in the art of PsychedelicMicro. The wonderful insights into your own mind can provide you with the inspiration to pound at your keyboard really quickly. Many articles on the humorous parody of Uncyclopedia, Wikipedia, were created in this manner. In fact, some of the funniest comedians known to Man and Martian alike--including John_Kerry, Barney, and the voyeur outside your window--are driven by this powerful intellect enhancer.
What I Am Thinking Right Now (Me, Uncyclopedia, Now Conscious And ALIVE!)
Wait, the psilocybin just kicked in! Oh man, you know, like, you are just a brick in the big wall of things, you know, its like, yea, there you are, and then, like, not anymore, no your not there anymore. Life and death, man, its like a big paradox, because you are doing life, and then you are doing death, and how can you know anything? Do you believe in everything? Or do you think about it? Man, I mean, its all about freeing your mind, you know? Like not following things? Forming your own? But then you know, like, what can you do? I mean, you are alive, and then, like, you are dead, and you just can't know. Oh man. Like, you see that? That is it, man, that is it. It is all in the perception of things, just the way your brain sees things. I mean, you may see something, and then I see it, and its just like totally different. Oh man, look at the stars. Like, the stars are the components of your life, you know? Its just like these particles that compose you. You know, your composition? Like your body and your mind..... [Stares off into space for minutes] And then its just like 'poof' and the stars and you and everything else are one, because you are one, one with the earth and everything. Like, ego is just like a separation, because you are like the trees. You are a cycle, you live, die, yeah man, that's it. Back to the earth, but not from it? Oh man, I think I'm going to puke...