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“I do not in the least approve of their music, but their lyrics are the shit”

~ Queen Elizabeth II on The Psychologists

The Psychologists is an American metal band. They were most notable for their album "So how the fuck does that shit make you feel?"

Starting Up[edit]

The Band's Official Logo

The band met at a Hello Kitty convention in Los Angeles, where lead singer Joss Hosanna handed out fliers to a public Orgy. Any person who then arrived at the orgy would automatically be in the band. This is a popular technique in starting a metal band, and is still used today.

The members chose the name for the band through a rigorous process of opening the Oxford English Dictionary and choosing the first word they see as the name.

Founding Members[edit]

Initial Reactions[edit]

Their first album You Have To Make The Fucking Choice was released in 1997. Although it was popular among royalty, it failed to catch the eye of their target audience: Kids who want to scare their parents.

Reviews for the album were mixed. gave it the prestigious "Seven Seals of Approval" award, while Smudged Makeup Magazine gave it the embarrassing "Claude Debussy's Lovemusic" stamp.

It wasn't until their next album, "So How The Fuck Does That Shit Make You Feel", that The Psychologists began to make a real name for themselves.


The band has released only two albums as of yet.

The Psychologists' Albums
Title Cover Year Most Popular Track
You Have To Make The Fucking Choice AtomicYouHave.jpg 1997 Just Give Me The Pills
So How The Fuck Does That Shit Make You Feel AtomicSoHow.jpg 2004 Hmm, Semen Cakes


  • Joss Hosanna's father disowned him when he found out that Joss burnt down the house and murdered his baby brother. Hosanna later stated that his father's reaction was 'totally uncalled for'.
  • Although John Kakpa denied all accusations of incest, he did state that he is pro bestiality.
  • The band is very much aware of hygiene, and they have stated that they always wash their hands before and after a show which would involve eating feces.
  • Paris Hilton loves them. Occasionally they get together to swap vomit.
  • Lax Pax occasionally uses a sharpened crucifix to fatally stab people who make fun of his name.
  • Ian Hanna has a doctorate degree in musicology. He only plays the drums because 'fuck you, Ms. Lamen.'

See also[edit]