Puff the Magic Dragon
|THIS ARTICLE NEEDS A STEAMROLLER!!!|
|Sometimes the foundations are so rotten and bad that the only good and constructive action is demolishing everything and starting from scratch. In other words, rewrite this article. It's in such a bad state that you may ignore all of its current contents if you like.
Puff is a crossbreed of the Jolly Green Giant and Barney. He received his father's green cock and his mother's whorehouse During his developing age, Puff was fugly. He was overweight and looked like a green bean with wings. He was told he was an accident at the age of 2. Puff cried for seven days and seven nights, during which time he took up smoking big fat doobies.
The Beginning of Puffing
Puff is a giant green dragon with yellow spikes that he stole from small children with no money. Since he was a little, little boy dragon he was bullied into doing what others told him to do. At the age of five (not in dragon years), Puff was called "Huff" since he used an inhaler quite frequently due to his terminal asthma spasms. Others say that he and his pal the big bad wolf were huffers and were seen huffing and puffing peoples' houses down. Eight people were injured from this incident including two of the three little pigs (the first had a concussion and had his gall bladder removed, the second pig's nose was smashed and his hip was broken, causing a severe hernia), and little Red Riding Hood was taken to a charity hospital for a sprained ankle.
Huffing and Puffing
At the young age of seven, Puff was tormented quite often. One day a little, little boy wanted to race Puff to a "cave". Once the kid started running, Puff was a huff-puffing behind. The little little kid screamed, "the last one there is a penis puff!" (this was directed towards Puff). Depressed, Puff then ran away to a cove near Bangledesh. He hid out for three years where he picked up the art of smoking marijuana, pot, the "reefer" and began his own marijuana market. He later picked up gambling where he lost his inhaler in a bet against Godzilla. This is what caused him to slowly spiral downwards into his TV career. Later puff was seen selling himself on the streets of L.A. to various drunks/celebs, eventually changing his first name to Fuck, ending the Puff era.
- He can lick his elbow!
- Huff an inhaler (Kitten-sized).
- Grows hair.
- Grows marijuana in backyard.
- Seagull repellent.
- Can dual-weild huffing pipes.
- Is also knows as David Huffman.