Punch Me Elmo

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The Punch Me Elmo is a prototype doll currently being tested for use with abused children and the mentally handicapped.

History[edit]

The need for such a toy arose after BBC released reports confirming that at least 100 percent of abused children and mentally hadicapped individuals are prone to beating their pet kittens, which is apparently not a good thing. When the Surgeon General requested a solution to this problem in 1996, there was a rush to come up with the perfect product. Many ideas came to light, leading to the invention the jigsaw puzzle and head lice, none of which achieved any purpose whatsoever. After several minutes of research, the first Punch Me Elmo was born in 1492.

A typical abused child mishandles its puppy.

Origins[edit]

The very first Punch Me Elmo was conceived by Mary Poppins nine months after having sex with the original Elmo. They named it Bobbin. Bobbin's ability to withstand incredible blows to every part of his fuzzy little body became apparent after one of Elmo's particularly violent drunken rages.

Bobbin's name was eventually changed to Punch Me Elmo, his most commonly used phrase. This change was not, however, recognised in a legal court of law, and has lead to much confusion among consumers of Punch me Elmo, who often refer to the toy affectionately as "Bobbin".

“That feels good”

~ Punch Me Elmo on being abused

“Just a little lower”

~ Punch Me Elmo on punches

“I don't know what the fuck you're talking about”

~ Mary Poppins on Bobbin

“What kind of sick freak would invent a toy like this?”

“UR MOM IS A FREAK!!!”

~ Punch Me Elmo on Albert Einstein

“Yes”

~ Yes-Man on Everything

Every Punch Me Elmo receives a sticker before leaving the factory, as opposed to its cousin Tickle Me Elmo, which receives two test tickles.