Purple

The Glorious Founder of Purple. Heil Purple!

	This article was written by a Nazi.
	Das Template lobt den Führer!

WARNING: Purple is extremely volatile and will explode on contact <LAZY EYE>. If consumed, it is advised that you try to breathe and hetrosexuality will quickly ensue.

“Vile color. Satan Blows.”

~ Loogan Herr on Purple and Maybe Satan

“I've always found purple to be a very manly color.”

~ Galvatron on Purple

“Purple is a fruit.”

~ Homer Simpson on Purple

“It says I have already been to all these links, but I beg to differ!”

~ Me on Purple

“Purpling is probalby my favorite activity”

~ Brandon Korf on Purple

“If i only had enough breath to say one phrase before i left this earth, i would say "IT'S PURPLE TIME!!!!"”

~ Tom Ramstad on Purple

“To Err is human, To purple is divine!”

~ Jesus on Purple

FUCK PURPLE [1]

[edit] Discovery

Purple was discovered in the late 5300th century B.C.E. by the highly esteemed architect Superman. Although his job has nothing to do with the finding it backed him up when he showed this at the Nobel awards. It was proved years later, when Purple was in its late teens, that blue and pink were the biological parents. Papers were signed and purple was taken back home with its parents. As Purple had already been through the terrible teen stage, it procceded with its life as a tesco bag packer. Little more is known about Purple as after Deep Purple came around Purple felt unwelcome and pushed aside. It is believed that it is now living with its aunt in Toronto.

After his discovery, it has been said that Fidel Castro is harbouring Purple and is taking action against others in possession of shades of Purple although no immedate relationship has been noted.

An extreme form of Purple is known as Hitler.

[edit] The history of purple

The color purple is the love child of blue and red. During the great color wars of 1500s, the alliance of the purple spectrum broke down as fuchsia sided with the alliance of blue states while pink sided with the confederacy of red states. This schism resulted in the collapse of the purple sector which persisted until the Treaty of Versailles repaired the break. This treaty remained shaky until magenta acted as a mediator between the two sides.

During the Second great color wars, purple was the only color working for peace. This is why all those drugged-out hippies love purple. Purple was later accepted as the official color of all outcasts especial those purplers from Prime Time.

[edit] Purple in Today's Society

I also wear purple sweater!It is SOOOO pimp!!!ù YEAHÙ11111!!! Purple is used today as a bomb, or as a cottage. Some have been known to confuse a cottage with cottage cheese, which in turn is confused with MC Hammer. Purple cottage cheese, however, is very tasty, and is used in some clinics as a sedative.

In 2638 Prince licensed Purple, changing it's name to Ћ. He still pays royalties to Fidel Castro every time someone rents Purple Rain on VHS from Blockbuster although today it is owned by Oprah, who was jealous of its sexiness and the fact that it was receiving more national attention then her poodles.

A religion is also based on Purple called Methodism. They believe that the world is made of Purple because God was so pleased with his creation of the world that he added purple as the final touch. This was obvious so he did not add it into scripture.

The cheese-eating surrender purple monkeys have recently changed their official religion to Methodism, in order to please the vengeful Blake. Seen as a controversial act by many, this represents the feeling of many disgruntled hairy men.

An extreme version of Purple is called Prime Time.

Purple in the southern region of Wisconsin has recently become a cult. This cult mainly does one act and that is the sharing of the purple. They vowed to give purple to those who wish it. They give up there own items to make sure that any who desire the sweet necter of purple may enjoy it as they please. There are 4 main types of Purple at the moment. Natural Purple otherwise known as Grapes, Carbonated Purple otherwise known as Welch's Grape Soda, Aged Purple otherwise known as a Welch's Grape Wine. Fun Purple otherwise known as Prime Time.

Purple, from the latin "pupolus", brings a goat to every party it attends, and then apologizes profusely when the goat repeatedy nuzzles the crotches of the partygoers.

Purple blindness is a serious disease, the blue and red eye color spectrum is disfigured and result is loss of the purple color in the normal color vision. As a result total blindness may occur after 10-20 years.

[edit] Purple people eater

Contrary to previous scientific evidence, the purple people eater is not purple. It is green. The purple refers to the people, therefore the purple people eater is a green creature that eats purple people. If you are a purple person you better be careful, the purple people eater is a horrible creature. In the event one finds you, you will be purpled all over and then swallowed whole (this lets you feel the stomach acids).

[edit] Purple and his significance to the hetrosexual community

For many reasons, Purple has been declared to be the international straight color. Many Methodist churches in Wisconsin have adopted the idea of purple being natural touching between a guy and a girl.

According to "Tom Ramstad's Brain" a highly reputable magizine on the subject, purple is "intentional physical contact between persons of the oppisite sex that is freakin awsome!"

[edit] The DANGER of Purple

In 2005, Purple was finally understood as the most dangerous of all of with the name of Purple. Many believed that this was a stupid claim as, it made no sense to those actually able to read. However those who couldnt read when having had it read to them thought it made perfect sense. Unfortunately, due to licencing problems, the colour purple may not be used on this or any other website because the cadbury chocolate federation has decided that Purple is now a copyright of their corporation, so as of now the use of Purple in common language has been banned unless you have their permission. Studies now show that the Cadbury Chocolate officials where intoxicated with cheese during the making of their decision.

Luckily to those around the southern Wisconsin area, the Wisconsin State Legislature recently passed the "Ben Frechette Purple Claus". an amendment to the State's constitution making it illegal to purple with more than fifteen desperate freshmen in one year, or six in one month. Any violators of this act are suspect to immediate arrest, detention, and hostile tickling!

[edit] Not to be confused with

• Pink
• Deep Purple
• Indigo
• Poople
• Purple monkey dishwasher (in contrary to what the name might suggest, monkey dishwasher are not purple)

[edit] To be confused with

• Christian fun

[edit] External Links

• Official website of purple