Background of the "Purple Twinkie"
Purple Twinkies originated from David Hasselhoff's rear end, and are the most dangerous, and most tasty of the coloured twinkie range. The colours and danger of each twinkie vary. The colours and characteristics of each twinkie are listed below.
The Twinkie Range
Red - Healthy
Orange - Tasty
Yellow - Fattening
Green - Poisonous
Purple - Armed and Dangerous, but very tasty
Brown - ...moving on
How to Destroy the "Purple Twinkie"
The most effective way to destroy the "Purple Twinkie" is to huff it carefully in one smooth motion. They are sought after by chronic "Huffers" and are very valuable. They can bend you for months on end so be very careful.
Be warned, there are very few "Purple Twinkies" in existence, but if you ever come across one, destroy it. They are armed and extremely dangerous. You have been warned...
"There is no such thing as a Purple Twinkie, you have never seen or heard of a Purple Twinkie"
The FBI on Purple Twinkies
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