Pussy in a can

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For those who just ain't getting any...

Pussy. Made with, you know, REAL pussy juice, for that awesome taste you only used to get when doing the nasty on that fat blonde chick who would let anyone lick her pussy for a twenty-deck of cheap fags or a half bottle of Smirnoff Vodka, even if it did taste of rotting fish wrapped in old socks. But forget about her fetid pussy, this stuff has been formulated to taste like Dita von Teese's pussy - as truthfully verified by Marilyn Manson. And he should know...

PLUS it has all the usual herbal shit added to it to get you buzzing off your bollocks like you've just necked a dozen Expresso coffees - it has about the same amount of caffeine so it should bloody well do so.

Finally, it has a really rude but cool name, and is sponsored by MTV, so, you know, it is cool to slurp Pussy.

So go on, have a can of Pussy...[edit]

New for November 2009[edit]

Now that you have had some Pussy, it is time to expand the range of flavours.

  • Pussy: Mrs.Christmas Edition: Now with added pussy-juice from Mrs. Santaclaus herself. A spicey, Christmas beverage for those long hard family get-togethers. With the added extra Zing! from Pussy, you too can cope with that ten-year-old niece or nephew who is full of candy and Christmas Day Excitement!
  • Pussy: Summer Sun Edition: Flavoured with Pamela-Anderson-Lee. A zingy, summery Pussy just right for hot beaches and recovering from the clubs of Ibiza.
  • Pussy: Red Edition: For those drinkers of Pussy who are not afraid or ashamed to earn their Red Wings. A slightly lumpier Pussy which is an acquired taste, Red Edition Pussy is only available for one week a month and is not for the faint hearted.
  • Pussy: Chinese Dragon Edition: Full of the delights of the Orient, this Pussy will leave you wanting more and more. Usually half an hour after the last one...

See also[edit]

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