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Wikipedia doesn't have a proper article about QBasic. It really wouldn't help those so-called experts by writing one either.

QBasic, which stands for Quince Balls Aggregate Showbiz Igloo Cretin, is a forthcoming pregramming language to be released by Microsoft in the year n+1 (where n = current year). It is currently on schedule to meet this deadline, and a pre-alpha version has been circulating for a few decades now.


1. Real time typing (see the letters come up on the screen at the same time as you actually type them)

2. Support for screen resolutions of higher than 320 x 240 pixels

3. A new, improved UI featuring on screen graphics

4. Slower than ever before compiling. A breakthrough in Microsoft's quest for zero functionality.


The user group are mainly maths students at University who study stats because they have no idea how a computer works. People who study the IB also use QBasic, as there is no such subject as Maths or anything vaguely technical in the IB, because it was invented by a Linguist.