Québec
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"Viva le Stupidite"
“Dere ess neu Cana-duh like a French Cana-duh. Ess de best Cana-duh een de land. De oder Cana-duh ess 'ard-lee Cana-duh. Eef you lived 'ere for a day ew'd undewrstand.”
~ Some French Canadian bum on Saint-Jacques street in Montreal
“Ceci n'est pas une people.”
~ Rene Magritte on Quebecers
“We want your tit! Separate it and give it to us.”
~ Quebec on the rest of Canada
“Canada? This is Quebec!!!”
~ King Louis XIV on Louisiana
“He-he-he... Zey are so gay, I svear.”
~ Nicolas Sarkozy on Quebecers
“You're an immigrant and you don't speak french? Fuck off, tabarnak!.”
~ Separatists on any non-french speaking person in Quebec
Quebec (in French Le Québecques là, là-là), also known as New French English France, is a considerable part of the former French States of Canada, which served as the world's largest prison and whorehouse since early 1600-ies up to its extermination in 1763. Quebec consists of a state-in-state state, pretty much like Vatican, however this status is not recognized nowhere beside Quebec itself up to date (and probably never will). Quebec possesses the largest snow export in the world, which it trades for everything else, as unable to cultivate any food beside snow flakes. As a territory with biggest natural and hydrological ressources in all of Canada, Quebec is the most environmentally concerned nation in the world, partly due to many lacks of intellect in that matter.
France has no allegations toward Quebec whatsoever. Their last common ancestor died in 1789, long before ones developped social gay trends, and others invented poutine and becosse.
Contents |
[edit] Fast facts/Le Factes Vitesse
- Name
- The Lower Canada, The Lowest Canada, The Other Canada, The Non-Canadian Canada, The Other Ontario, The French Ontario, The Less-French Alberta, The Block Blokes, The Bluenecks, and, of course, Le Quebec.
- Capital
- WE ARE SEPRETISTS AND WE ARE OUR OWN CAPITAL
- Status
- Self-proclaimed country inside the Province of Canada, independent from France since last Tuesday.
- Elected official
- Le bonhomme Carnaval, since 1960. Was preceded by the The Carnival Snowman before.
- Currency
- The Piasse, which represents 99,97 coins of 1 cent. Can be divided into fifteen coins of 10 cents each and four coins of 30 cents.
- Banking
- Usually consists of a Ban King whose function is to sit there and ban people like Celine Dion and Avril Lavigne from Quebec. What else could you mean, right?
- Geography
- 10 miles north of where you used to think the North Pole was.
- Government
- The New Democratic Liberal Block Party of James Bay.
- Economy
- 92% Winter tourism, 5% casino gambling, 3% weed.
- Population
- 12% French, 8% English, 75% Frenglish, 5% unrecognizable multilanguage gibberish.
- Demographics
- 1025 McDonalds, 891 Burger Kings, 468 KFCs and 1,076,407 hot-dog stands.
[edit] Geography/Le Géographie
The Province of Quebec is concentrated around a huge deep fjord called the Saint-Lawrence Valley and a couple of Chicoutimi swamps to the Northwest. Every city is somehow located on an island (or a peninsula), which once again proves the prison theory, and probably the need to build forts to protect the rest of the land from savage colonial Frenchmen. Some weird built fortresses, like the one in Quebec, which consists of holes in the ground instead of walls, are also common due to Quebec topography.
In the Lac-Saint-Jean, the forts were made of ice and were protected by magically enhanced snowmen and beavers.
In all, four primary urban areas can be considerable enough to mention in Quebec. They consist of:
- Montréal
- The largest French-speaking city outside Paris, Montreal was named after one of the big-five Canadian banks. The bank itself has since moved to Toronto, as has the Royal Bank. We also have hos hobos and homos on the St-Cathrine street, go check it out.
- Montréal is the home of the Big Owe (le «gros bol de toilette»), home of the money-losing 1976 Summer Olympics and the now-defunct Montréal Expos baseball club.Their fans like Finestone still live there. Key Montréal exports include smoked meat, bagels, Molson beer, and hockey. Like regular French they surrendered in 1776 to the USA.
2008, Formula One quits Montréal since the city just wants to become a third level metropolis.
- Québec City
- The most informative (behind Montréal-Laval) and the oldest (founded 1608), Québec City is known as «la vielle capitale» (the unwanted) for its narrow, awkward roads which mostly run vertically as the city was built as a walled city so that Canada would not have to deal with French separatists that wanted to make canada a french-only fascist state, also its a city on a cliff to annoy the English. The English invaded it anyway, landing upriver at the historic Plains of Abraham, and once the Wolf was at the door the French régime was history. It is also known for its vast populaton of pure superior White Aryans from the kingdom of Thule, a narcissist hippie mascot and cold, snobbish, unaccessible womens. The city is planned for nuclear bombing by Le Canadiens armed forces very soon.
A random fact about Quebec is that they take a lot of pride in their poutine. Theirs a violation charge of 200$ for anybody that waste poutine or uses its name in vain.
- The only industries are «la function publique» (nation-inside-a-nationial bureaucracy) and tourism; Québec City therefore depends on the English to keep invading every year and to bring their cameras. Fortunately, an image is worth a thousand words in both languages.
Lately, in 2008, the inhabits of Quebec city wasted tremendous amount of their founding all the year long in order to commemorate something; quite probably a plane crash. During this year of satanic celebrations, the city mayor kidnapped Sir Paul McCartney and forced him to sing in the middle of a grassy field, thus attracking half of the entire province's population.
- Lévis
- Named by Jean, the former prime minister, Lévis is the only city in Québec to be made entirely of blue denim. Lévis is situated opposite Québec City, right near the inseam, and is known primarily for shipbuilding, its credit union, and being named after an old pair of denim pants.
- Ottawa-Gatineau
- The third-largest of Québec's metropolitan areas, Ottawa-Gatineau is unique among major Québec cities in that it is mostly in Swaziland. It's also the deputy capital of the World. Sleazy discos that are open late are a plus!
- Basically an abandoned lumber camp. Home of Scott and Eddy (those two guys who make paper), the population of Gatineau is mostly bored Canadian federal swivel servants and the primary export is red tape in both official languages.
- The lost city of Hull has been renamed after its largest suburb, Gatineau, by closet FLQ sympathisers who don't like the idea of such a major centre being named after Kingston-upon-Hull, England.
- Don't bother asking the Québec government for directions to «la région de la capitale nationale»; they have no idea where in Gatineau (or Ottawa, or Kanata, or wherever...) that is and will most likely misdirect you to Québec City. Les Montréalais will merely yawn at you.
- Trois-Rivières
- A hoax. There aren't three rivers... only two. April fish!, uh I mean April fools!
- Actually, the third river is created by the fact that if you look at the "T" shaped intersection, it makes the horizontal line look like two different lines separated by a vertical line. It's also because there is no number 2 in the French language.
- Drummondville
- Drummondville was built to house fictional cartoon character Hi-Ha Tremblay, favourite target of jokes by the now-defunct Croc magazine (who went broke importing MAD). Now home to «le village québécois d'antan», the village of yesteryear.
- Rivière du Loup
- Literally "the river of the wolf", Rivière du Loup is inhabited primarily by wolves. Unfortunately for the French, the wolves take orders directly from General Wolfe, an Englishman famed for leading the Battle of the Plains of Abraham which led to the defeat of Québec.
- La Malbaie
- La Malbaie (the bad bay) was invented by famous watchmaker Jacques Cartier, then promptly abandoned as an annoying place due to being a bay with no water upon arrival of low tide. Not to be confused with Hudson's Bay (which is merely an annoying department store) or eBay (where shipping problems become frustrating enough to make one homesick for La Malbaie).
- Gaspé peninsula
- Gaspé is short for «gas-pay, or if you want to buy gas here, be prepared to pay...». Way out past Rimouski, Gaspé is located just as far east as New Brunswick so it gets dark rather early. There's an ocean, a big rock with a hole in it, and precious little else to "gasp" about.
- Chicoutimi-Jonquière
- Located amongst the Saguenay River fjords near Lac St. Jean (home of the chocolate-covered blueberry), this suburb of ghost town Val-Jalbert exists to make paper and aluminium. Now named Saguenay, home of the first and only aluminium bridge. Designed especially to carry aluminium cars like the DeLorean, it was also the last aluminium bridge. While the bridge is lightweight and zero-maintenance, the cost of the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity to make the aluminium to build the bridge in the first place is ludicrous. It's also a primary test field for some compagnies and industries. A lot of new products are tested there to see how the people react and use it or not. Because of allergic reactions, the land itself often gets rashes and molting skin.
- Rouyn-Noranda
- A mining company at the end of the Road to Rouyn. This is where you go if you offend le Bon Dieu, Québec's deity and owner of the famed Hôtel Dieu.
- Val-D'or
- A small city of 35.4545333 habitants at the very edge of Quebec (the part that is inhabited, that is). The city's name, which means Gold Valley, comes from a drunken 70 year old amnesiac drunkard who said in 1920 J'ai vu les roches briller calisse! (I saw the fucking rocks shine) Since then it became a busy village with 2145622 unsuccessful mines and 35 times more curses.
- Dionland
- A forbidden city were remains the infamous creatures known as les Dions. The ultimate malevolent landlord being Celine Dion herself, this city is in fact populated only by her 13 siblings, her father-husband, Mario and Luigi, her hermaphrodite offspring and herself. The borders of Dionland are decorated with human baby skulls since it is the local meal. There is no mean of transportation that leads to this city but Celine Dion’s private space shuttle.
- James Bay/la Baie James
- A remote northern Cree territory, from which Hydro-Québec extracts massive amounts of hydroelectricity (or, as they call it, électricité). Bush pilot country.
- Churchill Falls
- A remote northern Labrador territory, from which Hydro-Québec extracts massive amounts of hydroelectricity (or, as they call it, électricité).
- Newfie country and not part of Québec at all. The Québécois managed to pull a fast one on the hapless Newfies by locking-in an artificially low price right before the hyper-inflation and the massive rise in energy prices of the 1970's. The Newfies have never forgiven Québec; they have acquired 500 septic tanks and, as soon as they learn how to drive them, they're invading Blanc Sablon.
- As much as Québec would love to build more dams in Labrador, it'll never happen due to the Newfoundland political reality «Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.»
- Even a poor fisherman has his pride. Tant pis.
- Candiac
- Once ruled by a despotic king, Candiac City began its existence as a small village on the South Shore of the ancient Town of Montreal. Back then, the area of Candiac was used as a shelter for wizards that had been evicted from their hometown. It is infamous for its ceaseless blizzards and winterstorms, that are said to be caused by the dark curse of a wandering wizard. Shortly after its creation, Candiac was in great need of a ruler. Strangers from distant lands began invading the town and soon started spreading their life-annihilating disease (today known as HIV). One of the village's wizards, The Dark Vomitron, was proclaimed "King of Candiac". It was the beginning of a dark era for Candiac. Vomitron, in his evil-ridden mind, projected to take over the entire South Shore. His dark reign plunged the village into what seemed like chaotic madness, the powerful curse would simply not lift and the villagers were soon forced to join Vomitron's evil forces, for their lives were threatened. Thus, an army of evilness and wizardry was created, and the dark Dictator was ready to take over the entire South Shore. Fortunately for the continent, fate decided otherwise. The curse turned back against Vomitron, its power too intense even for a powerful wizard to bear. A tsunami of scat came from the St-Lawrence river and engulfed the cursed village in its chunky currents. There were no survivors. All life had been obliterated in diarrhea. It was the end of the era of wizards and magic. The city was rebuilt from the ground up in 1957 and today, it is a relatively tame suburban area with the highest rate of inbreeding and gonorrhea on the entire South Shore.
Following the events of September 11th 2001, a terrorist threat was declared in the town of Candiac, and the RCMP suspected a cell of Al Qaeda to reside hidden somewhere in the commercial mall by the highway. Thousands of bored residents eventually returned to their regular TV broadcasts once the threat was removed using security cameras installed in the major cities of North America, including Candiac, the famous capital of french-canadian suburbia.
- Sorel-Tracy
- An old village whose life had changed after the English conquest. Even though the facts of the year 1759 (La Revolution Bein Po Tranquille) are undeniable, some residents still claim that their lives have changed after a certain "Survenant" had paid them a visit. It is likely to confirm that there had never been such a person (or it may have been Mother Shibubu or Jay Leno) and that the region had spread due to economical boom in selling the "queues de castor", literally translated as "beaver dicks". The captured male beavers would be first smothered to death, then skinned, and their genitalia cut to make delicious meaty treats.
- The Eastern Townships
- This is a place where some dude established, proclaimed the territory to his owning and divided it in a chessboard of 64 "cantons" squares. Later there used to start Chessmaster Tournaments where the winner could claim one of these cantons to his owning. This simple principle was later used to cut territories into seigneuries, but this time by playing backgammon (what clearly explains their rectangularity).
- Sherbrooke/Magog
- The region got its name after the longest street in the whole country. In fact, Sherbrooke street is exactly 345,678 kilometers long. It passes through such cities as Montreal, Ottawa, Quebec, Bronson, and Ogrimmar. Magog city got its name from the fearsome tribe of humanoid demons that inhabited the region before and attacked everyone they met by throwing fireballs at them. Today 95% of demons have been completely assimilated, though the remains of these fiends still roam the Magog hinterlands and devour domestic sheep at night.
- Crystal Montreal
- Montreal from a distant future, this location does not exist yet. It will appear after Sailormoon Rangers will liberate Quebec from the evil spawn Tuxedo Mask.
- Pontiac
- A county in the Wild Wild West of Quebec named after the very first broken down car to be left on a front lawn in Amerique du Nord. The Quebec language police are hunted indiscriminately here for their pelts and thick skulls (secret ingredients to poutine). Brian Murray is the mayor of Shawlbyville, Pontiac County (right next to Springfield), he's also a Senator who is famous for using a Maple Leaf for protection.
- Chong!
- This city has not yet been proven to be in Quebec. It is either there or in China.
- Laval
- A big craphole also known as emo-Ville. This city is full of lonely people, called Emos. Emos are the black haired, tight jeans, and band t-shirted people you see everywhere there. For the few preps, skaters, rappers, and all, they spend their day time going to "Le Centre Laval" to beat up those Emos. If you do not know what an Emo is, you might want to come to Laval to check them out. But be careful to not talk or touch our Emos or else they may begin to Emo dance, write a poem, sing screamo, or slit their wrists, so take heed. 75% of Laval's population is Emo; the only ones who aren't highly dislike these Emos.
- Hollywood, Florida
- In spring, a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love. In winter, the middle-age man's fancy turns to thoughts of Florida, the southern most portion of the Québec land mass. Middle-aged Québecois migrate to this southern peninsula in winter because, having no teeth, they can't chew frozen poutine. Come to Hollywood in the winter to see the manatees, and their husbands in beaver skin Speedos.
- Saint-Jérome
- Saint-Jérome is one of the oldest agglomeration of Québec, well know principally for its mental institute that closed its door in the mid 90's thus letting loose hundred's of lunatics wondering around the city without proper medication. Since the 80's, Saint-Jérome has been winning awards after awards for the city with the highest number of welfare applicants. Taking this problem in his own hands, mayor Gazcon gathered a special team of "top notch" scientist ( now well medicated ) and assigned them on a special research project named "project $$$". This project's futuristic and humanitarian goal is to synthetise welfare applicants, lunatics and criminals, and finds a way to make gasoline out of them. According to a recent statement made by mayor Gazcon, "...knowing this, i can reassure you, that by 2020, Saint-Jérome will become the Kuwait of North-America." Demographics: Saint-Jerome has 2 McDonalds, 1 Burger King, 1 PFK and around 276 hot-dog stands. Don't forget an anthropologic institution call CHEZ PLOUFF where you will be able to see well conserved cavemen specimens. It's also possible to rent dentures in vinegar at a very good price.
- Beloeil
- Named after the first visit of the Duke of Rouville (circa 1680), who is known to have said, after his arriving: «What a bel oeil» (nice eye)», Beloeil, beside been the homeland of die-hard patriots wearing the «ceinture fléchée», yelling at the Red Tuniques at each «St-Jean» and voting for Pierre Curzi, is also recognized for its schizophrenic weather, brought by the proximity of hills and water. This is perhaps the only city in Quebec where you can see an whole patio set flying freely over the streets. Beloeil is also known for its shitty Summer Fest, featuring the worse of Quebec's hasbeens, namely Marie-Chantal Toupin, Sylvain Cossette, and, breaking new grounds this year, an old-new band: The Lost Fingers.
[edit] History/L'histoire
It's a familiar story: Québec was settled by France sometime before you were born. But France, being too busy smoking their cigarettes, did not take advantage of the opportunities. Then the English came. And we all know what happens when France gets attacked. They seemingly hold on forever despite having inferior numbers, at which point we send double the amount of regulars, forcing a surrender. To their credit, the French did not immediately surrender. First they complained, and then they surrendered. They also got smacked around a bit in the middle. Well, actually the French killed an entire army before eventually saying "Mèrde" to the whole thing and just becoming part of the Norman founded British empire. You think the French would be speaking English right now? NON!
France then made the key mistake of propping up that lot of traitors to the Empire who threw the gov'ners tea in the harbour in 1776, causing Canada to be inundated with an influx of English refugees at the end of the American Revolution. This led to English-Canadian refugee camp Ontario separating from Québec in 1784 and declaring itself a distinct society based on its rôle as the most boring province in all of Canada after Ontario (where people go to bed at 7 P.M.)
What remained unknown is that England didn't want this ice box, dismissed by Voltaire as «quelques arpents de neiges», as they had plenty of sunny colonies in the South...
For the next two centuries, Quebec hid itself from the rest of the world to maintain their "distinct cultural identity" like their cult the Catholic Church. They never liked being part of Canada and definitely hated the King or Queen (or any QUEER Canadian prime minister).
In 1987, the country was taken over by a lunatic preacher who refused to reveal his name on the grounds that it was "for God alone to know," or, untranslated, a bunch of gibberish. The magnetic personality and legendary charisma of this nutjob allowed him to initiate the Great Quebecois Crusade, which didn't work. That's all there is to say about it.
[edit] Politics/Les Politiques
Unlike Canadians and other Anglo peoples, the Quebecois love to discuss politics and religion like the French (except most of the words for church things are "obscene"), sex and death, races and money, personal problems, gossip and negative subjects.
Québec's most famous politician was Maurice «Rocket» Richard of the «Habs» political party. He reigned from 1940-1975, when he was killed by a flying hockey puck.
His exclusion from the playoffs sparked riots which ultimately led to «la révolution tranquille», the Quiet Revolution, and the overthrow of the corrupt Duplessis conspiracy.
After his death, aggrieved French Canadians, unsatisfied that the rest of Canada was not kissing their ass and recognising their «special status», began a separation movement. The movement's stated goals were to piss off the English everywhere.
Currently a political group called Bloc Queerbecois has begun to ask for Quebec to defect from Canada to join the French. At first Canadians were skeptical but atlas decided that if Quebec so wished they could join France but only if they do so by getting the fuck out of Canada and leaving Quebec free for swedish strippers and nobel prize winners to move in. When asked though, 75% of Quebecers will tell you they don't give a shit about France, mainly because it had left its colony by itself 250 years ago. The remaining 25% can't answer the question, due to their faces being stuffed with poutine.
[edit] Conspiracy Theories/Les théories constipatoires
As Chinese involvement is suspected in most parts of the world (parts where the Chinese have not yet out populated/choked the local population), Quebec did not make en exception to this rule.
Aside from the dubious immigration forces invading the Montreal area, it is believed that the Chinese may be planning to sponsor a cultural uprising of the Kui Bai Kui people (who are now suspected to be long lost relatives of the AZN community).
Using a loop hole in the Chinese system of communication (involving ink, pigeons, and jobs outsourced to India), Uncyclopedians have succeeded unprecedented insight on the issue. The conspiracy follows 8 simple steps...
1.Create a government in exile for Native Americans at the UN.
2.Elect a Shaman as the spiritual and political leader, who will then on constantly remind people, via plenty of speeches, of the Cultural Genocide natives suffered as a nation, better know as colonization.
3.Hire People to extinguish the torch at the 2010 winter Olympics at Vancouver (or try, at least).
4.Wave the Amerindian flag (A picture of the Great Manitou with plenty of animals) at the 2010 Olympics' opening ceremony.
5.Hold up a fist wrapped in hawk (not eagle) feathers when ever you win a gold. 6.Take photos of police beating civilians in Nepal and say that's the scene of RCMPs beating the crap out of unarmed native protesters, then criticize Canada for not having freedom of speech and opinion.
Now the fun part starts.
7.Finally gain independence of Quebec, under a new name of Canada, with a territory ranging from st-john's to victoria, and all the way down to Fawkland Islands (Original territory of Amerindians, before the Grand Invasion. The whole of America, in short).
8.Deport all Caucasians in order to avoided further raping of the native culture, for the culture can not be saved when the natives are out populated/choked.
[edit] Religion/Les Réligion
Over 99 percent of Quebecois are members of the Vive Quebec Libre church of Dieu, they pledge their allegiance to the Pope in the Vatican. However, like the French and Europeans, the Quebecois can turn opposite and sound like a bunch of atheists or pagans (the "Gaullic" identity thing). Quebecois are the last people in the Western world who continually believed in the Jews killed their savior and still warn their young to keep away from rabbis with fangs, claws, horns on their heads and tails from their butts. Quebecois want to "liberate" Montreal from the invading hordes of non-Catholics, non-Europeans and non-whites filled up the once French majority population (when it was decent under the Anglo-English speaking minority). Also the "Quebecois de souche" (white and french speaking) are the only known Catholics who are openly RACIST.
[edit] Economy/L'économie
The most popular job in Québec is hockey goalie. After that, it is lumberjack/lumberjill, maple syrup producer, and beret-maker. The economy of Québec depends on the key exports:
- Céline Dion
- La Frites Du La Liberté
- Poutine
- Jos'Louis pastries
- Neil Vieux (Old)
- The hockey sweater
- pea soup
- Liberal Prime Ministers
- tabagisme
- hockey players
- électricité
- snowmobiles
- maple syrup
- Unibroue beer
- Joual-French Dictionaries
- Minister Taxes
- me
- Tabarnacs
- Worldwide sexyness
- And a whole bunch of other crap
Unfortunately, there are no other Joual-speaking nations to trade with Québec, making «les exportations» most awkward indeed.
[edit] Language/Ici on parle français tabarnak
Quebec is the only Canadian province which officially recognizes a language that does not really exist since the end of colonial times. Commonly and unwillingly mistaken for French, this language consists of a Norman military, Belgian jailhouse and Swiss prostitute mix encrusted with two words from the real French: Bonjour and Excusez-moi, that you're most likely prone to hear first upon arriving to Quebec. Please, and we mean it, do NOT try to understand the rest following these words, as no dictionary in the world, even the Quebecer French/Quebecer English (if it existed), would help you accomplish that task.
The Quebecers take very offensively any or all of the negative remarks they hear about their language, therefore trying to speak English inside their entourage is highly unrecommended. Furthermore, trying to speak their French without the basic knowledge of it is even less recommended, as it would result any Quebecer to grab a plank out of nowhere and start rioting about it right in front of you. The only known phrase that would get you out of such embarrassing situation is Je ne parle pas français said with strong English accent with the emphasis on Je and pas.
The following is a simple example of complicated Quebecois-French-English translation:
| Quebecois French | Pronounciation | Meaning in English |
|---|---|---|
| Aielle, mon gâ! | ah-ei-y moan guh | Excuse me, sir. |
| Câlique, c't'âtoé kech pa'l! | coe-leek stat-way kew-sh paul | Excuse me again, please. |
| Kosséque tu vien m'dire là? | coss-ache two vee-y-agn m deer law | I'm sorry, I didn't get that. |
| Âé bin bel'la t'chique asti! | I begn bel-y-a chick ah-stee | I find that woman unmistakeably attractive. |
| Peton avâr qué'kun ki pa'l français 'citte? | pew-tone avoe-are key-can key paul front-say e-seet | Could I please be served in English here? |
| Maudite mârde! | maw-deat moa-d | (any situation in which you feel uncomfortable enough to swear in proper English) |
| De kossèr? | doe coss-ay | I beg your pardon? |
| Fuck! | phoa-k-q | Fuck! |
| Bon bin là là, c'vofaèr là! | boan-bee law law s-woe-fare law | That would be quite enough, thank you. |
| Ah v'la, cibole de crisse! | ah v-li-a see-bowl doe cree-s | Hey man, good to see you! |
| Ta'yel!!! | tah-yew-l | Please be quiet. |
| Bein kin. | been kind | Well, yes, no, maybe, perhaps, mayhaps, probably, certainly, of course, maybe not, whatnot, whatever, depends, meh, err, shit happens. |
[edit] Culture/<French term missing>
The following world leaders are suspected of being Québec undercover operatives:
- every Canadian prime minister to be elected with a majority from Trudeau onward
- Vladimir Poutine, who sells french fries with gravy when not moonlighting as president of Russia
- Jana Vike-Freiberga, president of Latvia
- Bobino, entertainer
- Steve Nash, even though he is not from Quebec. Leader of the Quebec Separatist Hippie Brigade
- Captain Underpants, superhero
- Loopy de Loop, an unpopular wolf from Hanna-Barbera who tries to do good.
There may be others but, unfortunately for «la reste du monde», they remain undetected as the motoneige trail went cold before they could be tracked down and identified by Newfie intelligence operatives.
[edit] See also/Tcheck Ca Sti!
- la loi 101
- All old French guys are funny
- Supercowboy
- Rene Levesque
- Dick
- Quebec's secret plan and the rest of canada
 This article may contain a retarded point of view.It also contains an unhealty dose of clichés and parts of it may sound borderline hateful. English, French and franglais unite on the talk page to make it funnier. Please understand we do have some respect for Quebec, as opposed to ontario and Alberta which is just plain fucking dumb
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