Quacky McQuack Quack

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When Addressed with "quack" reply "moo"

“I happen to know a bit of duck myself, quack quack quack quack! But I'll never be as good with my grammar as Quacky, its those damn syncopated phonetic verbs that get me. ”

~ Oscar Wilde on duck and Quacky McQuack Quack

“He's my greatest inspiration, whenever I'm having trouble with my syncopated phonetic verbs, I just read some of his poems, and I'm quacking away, ready to take over another country! ”

~ Seán Fearon on Quacky McQuack Quack

“Quack? Quack quack, quack.”

~ Speaker of duck on Quacky McQuack Quack

“Quack quack quack quack quack quack, quack: QUACK!!!!”

“Quacky, Quack quack quack quacky quack mquack. Quack quack quack quacky mqucky quack qucrack.”

~ The Commy Quack on Quacking the world!

Quacky McQuack Quack (1532-1644)

Quacky McQuack Quack was a famous 16th and 17th century scholar, who is renound by duckists around the world for his beautiful poems. Unlike most poets such as Shakespeare, Quacky McQuack Quack refused to write poems in English, he only ever wrote his poems in duck.

Birth and Childhood and Stuff[edit]

Quacky McQuack Quack was born in Duckery, a small town in the very South of Duckistan, just on the Kazakh/Duckistan border. He was born on the 4th of May in 1532, when Duckistan was still completely Duckist and duck speaking. He was born to Quack McQuack Quack and Quack Quack McQuack Quack, and grew up in his rural home as an only child. He was a die-hard duckist, as were his parents, and spoke duck completely fluently!


Quack was his first poem, written at only 5, Quack is his simpliest but most one of the most beautiful poems.

It goes as follows:

Quack: Quack quack, quack.

This short poem was described by the Duckistan Today (1512 - 1556) as

"A magnificent and ensightful poem, giving the reader a fantastic and moving insight into the troubles of Duckist rural living."

Teenage Years[edit]

When McQuacky's talent for poetry became apparent, he did a tour of Duckistan, writing and repeating poems across the nation. He visited Ducksberg and other famous Duckist places, and by 15 was a national star!

When his duckist tour was finished in 1555, McQuacky was twenty three, but had written over thousand poems!

The Kazakh Incident[edit]

In 1556, his father decided it was time to go international!

So, they went south, to the Magnificent Kingdom of Kazahkstan!

Unfortunetly, the national language of Kazakhstan is of course Kazakh and Racism, and no-one speaks a lot of duck.

Quack Quack!!! they said with their rough duck upon hearing his poems, which of course mean Is Nice! McQuacky and his father were encouraged, and so continued to play regularly in Kazakhstan, but then Quacky McQuack Quack wrote this poem:

QUACK QUACK Quack quack quack. Quack quack quack! Quack, QUACK? QUACK!!!!!!!!!!! Quack? Quack? QUACK!!!!!!!!

Of course the Kazakhs were unbelievably insulted and offended. How could such a wise man write suck filth?

“Qwakee? Ill give you fookin qwakee you sheethead!”

~ Kazakh on Quacky McQuack Quack's poem

A mob came at him on the night of Janurary 2nd 1557, and burnt down his house, killing his father and leaving him to flee back to Duckistan.

What Happened Then?[edit]

Quacky was of course heart-broken, and left his rural home and moved to Ducksberg, capital of Duckistan. From then on in his poetry became more and more depressing, until finally it became worth of the title Quack Quack which of course translates as EMO poetry.

It has been rumoured that My Chemical Romance has used some of his material from this period in their crappy depressing songs.

My Chemical romance denies this, saying You just don't understand us man... they then continued to sob sadly in a dark, lonesome corner.


At that time in Duckistan, EMOs and Lesleys were ' quack ' which of means ' forbidden by the general public of Duckistan because there attention seeking nobodys that everyone hates. '

So, as is duckist tradition, the local duckists bayt the livin' shite out of him. After this incident, Quacky sank even deeper into his Emo-itus, and began to pull his hair over his face and cut himself.


But then, qhile walking dark misery street, poor Quacky discovered something that for some unfathonabululule reason EMOs had never come across before:


Soon after he had his bap chapped, healed his wrists and was back writing happy poetry again!

Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, QUACK!!!

Which of Course translates as:

Prozac, Prozac, Prozac,Prozac, Prozac, PROZAC!!!!!!

People quite enjoyed this poem, and was followed by such sequels as:

  • Quack Quack (Prozac II)
  • Quack Quack Quack (Prozac III)
  • Quack Quack Quack Quack (Prozac IV)
  • Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack (Prozac V)
  • Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack (Prozac VI: The Finale)

People have often commented that his poetry was getting a bit repetitive.


Finally, after 112 years of poetry, Quacky McQuack Quack died of a Prozac overdose on the 15th of October, 1644. He died with a smile on his face.


His death was celebrated as a national holiday in Duckistan (Quacky McQuack Quack Day) until the Church of Duck's invasion, when his poetry was banned.

Nowadays, it's only celebrated in Kragen and Ulster, Ireland where the main Duckist population exists today.

For some it's also celebrated in Scotland, only by people who don't like fried goat or Robby Burns.