Quantum mechanics
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“There is no cat in the box. The guy let it out.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Schrödinger's cat
“In Soviet Russia, cat not know if YOU exist”
~ Russian Reversal on Schrödinger's cat
“Where did those particles go???”
~ Planck on Rave Particle Duality
“In Soviet Russia space-time oscillates YOU”
Quantum mechanics (QM) is a scientific theory, one of the most important ones studied in physics. It is so named because it is said to be "So simple, even a single (quantum) mechanic could understand all its principles." The prominent physicist Richard Feynmann switched from teaching freshman introductory physics to quantum mechanics, noting that QM is "so much easier."
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[edit] Discovery
Max Plank also measured the value of Plank's constant using a simplified machine did not kill a real cat, but instead used a x-ray machine to measure his own shoe size, providing the first quantitative measurement of its value without incurring the wrath of its original discover Jolly Roger
What perhaps contributed the most to the development of Quantum mechanics was the Alum titled Light My Rave, which listed in UK and US top ten for more than 10 years
[edit] Principles
Erwin Schrödinger's famous "Gedankenexperiment" (German for "something that would blow your mind both stoned and sober") illustrates a basic principle in QM. In one variant of the experiment, a cat is sealed in a box with a radioactive source. We can show using simple, intuitive mathematics, the result best summarized by Werner Heisenberg: "The cat will certainly die eventually and go to heaven in one parallel universe, and in another parallel universe the scientist opening the box encounters a radioactive dead cat and also dies and goes to a special hell where animal rights protesters brutally perform uncertain vulgar sexual acts upon the researcher while another cat watches, usually a Cheshire Cat with nine lives and nine desires and sometimes nine inch nails.
The length of a Cheshire Cat's inch nails is relative to the length of a certain Plank, which is why Plank's constant is important, since it can be dimensionless rescaled to the number nine, by correct choice of arbitrary units. The Beatles knew this and proved it with a theory about Paul McCartney, who actually died and was brought back to life by putting an announcement about his predicted death backwards in the song, Revolution number nine.
Prior to release of the White Album, a theory of radiation called "White Body Radiation" was developed, and a Cheshire Cat was used to scratch up the wax master of the original sound recording for the song, which was then bombarded by a cycltron, thus proving that time reversal is possible, even though it may have caused hurricane Katrina and some waves when the experiment was repeated in an attempt to produce sunshine that can be walked upon, another quantum mechanical effect which is normally commercially exploited in the production of light sabers
[edit] Applications
QM is such an important theory because of its power to explain many everyday phenomena. For example, heavy objects and light objects fall at the same rate of speed because a larger object has more quantumses (plural of quantum), and they get entangled with air as the object falls.
Most experiments in QM can be conducted with a ruler and stopwatch, making it a popular subject for children's science classes. More sophisticated analysis is performed at the university level, often using a pocket calculator to solve the simple-but-lengthy algebraic expressions that result (see the diagram at right).
Creationists rightly note that QM is incompatible with Albert Einstein's General Relativity, incontrovertible proof that there the universe is the work of an intelligent designer. These Christians are almost as well-versed in QM as they are in evolutionary biology, so their view carries much weight and garners much respect in the scientific community.
Quantum mechanics is also the underlying theory of quantum flux.
[edit] You won't understand any of this
This is what quantum mechanics is. This is also the Fundamental Formula of the Universe:
- Failed to parse (syntax error): -\frac{1}{2}\partial_{\nu}g^{a}_{\mu}\partial_{\nu}g^{a}_{\mu} \\ -g_{s}f^{abc}\partial_{\mu}g^{a}_{\nu}g^{b}_{\mu}g^{c}_{\nu} -\frac{1}{4}g^{2}_{s}f^{abc}f^{ade}g^{b}_{\mu}g^{c}_{\nu}g^{d}_{\mu}g^{e}_{\nu} +\frac{1}{2}ig^{2}_{s}(\bar{q}^{\sigma}_{i}\gamma^{\mu}q^{\sigma}_{j})g^{a}_{\mu} +\bar{G}^{a}\partial^{2}G^{a}+g_{s}f^{abc}\partial_{\mu}\bar{G}^{a}G^{b}g^{c}_{\mu} -\partial_{\nu}W^{+}_{\mu}\partial_{\nu}W^{-}_{\mu}-M^{2}W^{+}_{\mu}W^{-}_{\mu} -\frac{1}{2}\partial_{\nu}Z^{0}_{\mu}\partial_{\nu}Z^{0}_{\mu}-\frac{1}{2c^{2}_{w}} M^{2}Z^{0}_{\mu}Z^{0}_{\mu} -\frac{1}{2}\partial_{\mu}A_{\nu}\partial_{\mu}A_{\nu} -\frac{1}{2}\partial_{\mu}H\partial_{\mu}H-\frac{1}{2}m^{2}_{h}H^{2} -\partial_{\mu}\phi^{+}\partial_{\mu}\phi^{-}-M^{2}\phi^{+}\phi^{-} -\frac{1}{2}\partial_{\mu}\phi^{0}\partial_{\mu}\phi^{0}-\frac{1}{2c^{2}_{w}}M\phi^{0}\phi^{0} -\beta_{h}[\frac{2M^{2}}{g^{2}}+\frac{2M}{g}H+\frac{1}{2}(H^{2}+\phi^{0}\phi^{0}+2\phi^{+}\phi^{-%%@ })]+\frac{2M^{4}}{g^{2}}\alpha_{h} -igc_{w}[\partial_{\nu}Z^{0}_{\mu}(W^{+}_{\mu}W^{-}_{\nu}-W^{+}_{\nu}W^{-}_{\mu}) -Z^{0}_{\nu}(W^{+}_{\mu}\partial_{\nu}W^{-}_{\mu}-W^{-}_{\mu}\partial_{\nu}W^{+}_{\mu}) +Z^{0}_{\mu}(W^{+}_{\nu}\partial_{\nu}W^{-}_{\mu}-W^{-}_{\nu}\partial_{\nu}W^{+}_{\mu})] -igs_{w}[\partial_{\nu}A_{\mu}(W^{+}_{\mu}W^{-}_{\nu}-W^{+}_{\nu}W^{-}_{\mu}) -A_{\nu}(W^{+}_{\mu}\partial_{\nu}W^{-}_{\mu}-W^{-}_{\mu}\partial_{\nu}W^{+}_{\mu}) +A_{\mu}(W^{+}_{\nu}\partial_{\nu}W^{-}_{\mu}-W^{-}_{\nu}\partial_{\nu}W^{+}_{\mu})] -\frac{1}{2}g^{2}W^{+}_{\mu}W^{-}_{\mu}W^{+}_{\nu}W^{-}_{\nu}+\frac{1}{2}g^{2} W^{+}_{\mu}W^{-}_{\nu}W^{+}_{\mu}W^{-}_{\nu} +g^2c^{2}_{w}(Z^{0}_{\mu}W^{+}_{\mu}Z^{0}_{\nu}W^{-}_{\nu}-Z^{0}_{\mu}Z^{0}_{\mu}W^{+}_{\nu} W^{-}_{\nu}) +g^2s^{2}_{w}(A_{\mu}W^{+}_{\mu}A_{\nu}W^{-}_{\nu}-A_{\mu}A_{\mu}W^{+}_{\nu} W^{-}_{\nu}) +g^{2}s_{w}c_{w}[A_{\mu}Z^{0}_{\nu}(W^{+}_{\mu}W^{-}_{\nu}-W^{+}_{\nu}W^{-}_{\mu})-%%@ 2A_{\mu}Z^{0}_{\mu}W^{+}_{\nu}W^{-}_{\nu}] -g\alpha[H^3+H\phi^{0}\phi^{0}+2H\phi^{+}\phi^{-}] -\frac{1}{8}g^{2}\alpha_{h}[H^4+(\phi^{0})^{4}+4(\phi^{+}\phi^{-})^{2}+4(\phi^{0})^{2} \phi^{+}\phi^{-}+4H^{2}\phi^{+}\phi^{-}+2(\phi^{0})^{2}H^{2}] -gMW^{+}_{\mu}W^{-}_{\mu}H-\frac{1}{2}g\frac{M}{c^{2}_{w}}Z^{0}_{\mu}Z^{0}_{\mu}H -\frac{1}{2}ig[W^{+}_{\mu}(\phi^{0}\partial_{\mu}\phi^{-}-\phi^{-}\partial_{\mu}\phi^{0}) -W^{-}_{\mu}(\phi^{0}\partial_{\mu}\phi^{+}-\phi^{+}\partial_{\mu}\phi^{0})] +\frac{1}{2}g[W^{+}_{\mu}(H\partial_{\mu}\phi^{-}-\phi^{-}\partial_{\mu}H) -W^{-}_{\mu}(H\partial_{\mu}\phi^{+}-\phi^{+}\partial_{\mu}H)] +\frac{1}{2}g\frac{1}{c_{w}}(Z^{0}_{\mu}(H\partial_{\mu}\phi^{0}-\phi^{0}\partial_{\mu}H) -ig\frac{s^{2}_{w}}{c_{w}}MZ^{0}_{\mu}(W^{+}_{\mu}\phi^{-}-W^{-}_{\mu}\phi^{+}) +igs_{w}MA_{\mu}(W^{+}_{\mu}\phi^{-}-W^{-}_{\mu}\phi^{+}) -ig\frac{1-2c^{2}_{w}}{2c_{w}}Z^{0}_{\mu}(\phi^{+}\partial_{\mu}\phi^{-}-\phi^{-%%@ }\partial_{\mu}\phi^{+}) +igs_{w}A_{\mu}(\phi^{+}\partial_{\mu}\phi^{-}-\phi^{-}\partial_{\mu}\phi^{+}) -\frac{1}{4}g^{2}W^{+}_{\mu}W^{-}_{\mu}[H^{2}+(\phi^{0})^{2}+2\phi^{+}\phi^{-}] -\frac{1}{4}g^{2}\frac{1}{c^{2}_{w}}Z^{0}_{\mu}Z^{0}_{\mu}[H^{2}+(\phi^{0})^{2}+2(2s^{2}_{w}-%%@ 1)^{2}\phi^{+}\phi^{-}] -\frac{1}{2}g^{2}\frac{s^{2}_{w}}{c_{w}}Z^{0}_{\mu}\phi^{0}(W^{+}_{\mu}\phi^{-}+W^{-%%@ }_{\mu}\phi^{+}) -\frac{1}{2}ig^{2}\frac{s^{2}_{w}}{c_{w}}Z^{0}_{\mu}H(W^{+}_{\mu}\phi^{-}-W^{-}_{\mu}\phi^{+}) +\frac{1}{2}g^{2}s_{w}A_{\mu}\phi^{0}(W^{+}_{\mu}\phi^{-}+W^{-}_{\mu}\phi^{+}) +\frac{1}{2}ig^{2}s_{w}A_{\mu}H(W^{+}_{\mu}\phi^{-}-W^{-}_{\mu}\phi^{+}) -g^{2}\frac{s_{w}}{c_{w}}(2c^{2}_{w}-1)Z^{0}_{\mu}A_{\mu}\phi^{+}\phi^{-}-%%@ g^{1}s^{2}_{w}A_{\mu}A_{\mu}\phi^{+}\phi^{-} -\bar{e}^{\lambda}(\gamma\partial+m^{\lambda}_{e})e^{\lambda} -\bar{\nu}^{\lambda}\gamma\partial\nu^{\lambda} -\bar{u}^{\lambda}_{j}(\gamma\partial+m^{\lambda}_{u})u^{\lambda}_{j} -\bar{d}^{\lambda}_{j}(\gamma\partial+m^{\lambda}_{d})d^{\lambda}_{j} +igs_{w}A_{\mu}[-(\bar{e}^{\lambda}\gamma^{\mu} e^{\lambda})+\frac{2}{3}(\bar{u}^{\lambda}_{j}\gamma^{\mu} %%@ u^{\lambda}_{j})-\frac{1}{3}(\bar{d}^{\lambda}_{j}\gamma^{\mu} d^{\lambda}_{j})] +\frac{ig}{4c_{w}}Z^{0}_{\mu} [(\bar{\nu}^{\lambda}\gamma^{\mu}(1+\gamma^{5})\nu^{\lambda})+ (\bar{e}^{\lambda}\gamma^{\mu}(4s^{2}_{w}-1-\gamma^{5})e^{\lambda})+ (\bar{u}^{\lambda}_{j}\gamma^{\mu}(\frac{4}{3}s^{2}_{w}-1-\gamma^{5})u^{\lambda}_{j})+ (\bar{d}^{\lambda}_{j}\gamma^{\mu}(1-\frac{8}{3}s^{2}_{w}-\gamma^{5})d^{\lambda}_{j})] +\frac{ig}{2\sqrt{2}}W^{+}_{\mu}[(\bar{\nu}^{\lambda}\gamma^{\mu}(1+\gamma^{5})e^{\lambda}) +(\bar{u}^{\lambda}_{j}\gamma^{\mu}(1+\gamma^{5})C_{\lambda\kappa}d^{\kappa}_{j})] +\frac{ig}{2\sqrt{2}}W^{-}_{\mu}[(\bar{e}^{\lambda}\gamma^{\mu}(1+\gamma^{5})\nu^{\lambda}) +(\bar{d}^{\kappa}_{j}C^{\dagger}_{\lambda\kappa}\gamma^{\mu}(1+\gamma^{5})u^{\lambda}_{j})] +\frac{ig}{2\sqrt{2}}\frac{m^{\lambda}_{e}}{M} [-\phi^{+}(\bar{\nu}^{\lambda}(1-\gamma^{5})e^{\lambda}) +\phi^{-}(\bar{e}^{\lambda}(1+\gamma^{5})\nu^{\lambda})] -\frac{g}{2}\frac{m^{\lambda}_{e}}{M}[H(\bar{e}^{\lambda}e^{\lambda}) +i\phi^{0}(\bar{e}^{\lambda}\gamma^{5}e^{\lambda})] +\frac{ig}{2M\sqrt{2}}\phi^{+} [-m^{\kappa}_{d}(\bar{u}^{\lambda}_{j}C_{\lambda\kappa}(1-\gamma^{5})d^{\kappa}_{j}) +m^{\lambda}_{u}(\bar{u}^{\lambda}_{j}C_{\lambda\kappa}(1+\gamma^{5})d^{\kappa}_{j}] +\frac{ig}{2M\sqrt{2}}\phi^{-} [m^{\lambda}_{d}(\bar{d}^{\lambda}_{j}C^{\dagger}_{\lambda\kappa}(1+\gamma^{5})u^{\kappa}_{j}) -m^{\kappa}_{u}(\bar{d}^{\lambda}_{j}C^{\dagger}_{\lambda\kappa}(1-\gamma^{5})u^{\kappa}_{j}] -\frac{g}{2}\frac{m^{\lambda}_{u}}{M}H(\bar{u}^{\lambda}_{j}u^{\lambda}_{j}) -\frac{g}{2}\frac{m^{\lambda}_{d}}{M}H(\bar{d}^{\lambda}_{j}d^{\lambda}_{j}) +\frac{ig}{2}\frac{m^{\lambda}_{u}}{M}\phi^{0}(\bar{u}^{\lambda}_{j}\gamma^{5}u^{\lambda}_{j}) -\frac{ig}{2}\frac{m^{\lambda}_{d}}{M}\phi^{0}(\bar{d}^{\lambda}_{j}\gamma^{5}d^{\lambda}_{j}) +\bar{X}^{+}(\partial^{2}-M^{2})X^{+}+\bar{X}^{-}(\partial^{2}-M^{2})X^{-} +\bar{X}^{0}(\partial^{2}-\frac{M^{2}}{c^{2}_{w}})X^{0}+\bar{Y}\partial^{2}Y +igc_{w}W^{+}_{\mu}(\partial_{\mu}\bar{X}^{0}X^{-}-\partial_{\mu}\bar{X}^{+}X^{0}) +igs_{w}W^{+}_{\mu}(\partial_{\mu}\bar{Y}X^{-}-\partial_{\mu}\bar{X}^{+}Y) +igc_{w}W^{-}_{\mu}(\partial_{\mu}\bar{X}^{-}X^{0}-\partial_{\mu}\bar{X}^{0}X^{+}) +igs_{w}W^{-}_{\mu}(\partial_{\mu}\bar{X}^{-}Y-\partial_{\mu}\bar{Y}X^{+}) +igc_{w}Z^{0}_{\mu}(\partial_{\mu}\bar{X}^{+}X^{+}-\partial_{\mu}\bar{X}^{-}X^{-}) +igs_{w}A_{\mu}(\partial_{\mu}\bar{X}^{+}X^{+}-\partial_{\mu}\bar{X}^{-}X^{-}) -\frac{1}{2}gM[\bar{X}^{+}X^{+}H+\bar{X}^{-}X^{-}H+\frac{1}{c^{2}_{w}}\bar{X}^{0}X^{0}H] +\frac{1-2c^{2}_{w}}{2c_{w}}igM[\bar{X}^{+}X^{0}\phi^{+}-\bar{X}^{-}X^{0}\phi^{-}] +\frac{1}{2c_{w}}igM[\bar{X}^{0}X^{-}\phi^{+}-\bar{X}^{0}X^{+}\phi^{-}] +igMs_{w}[\bar{X}^{0}X^{-}\phi^{+}-\bar{X}^{0}X^{+}\phi^{-}] +\frac{1}{2}igM[\bar{X}^{+}X^{+}\phi^{0}-\bar{X}^{-}X^{-}\phi^{0}] = 0
The solution to the Fundamental Formula of the Universe was first discovered by Douglas Adams to be 42.
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|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 9 |
| 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 |  | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
