Queen of Blades

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Wikipedia doesn't have a proper article about Queen of Blades. It really wouldn't help those so-called experts by writing one either.

The Queen of Blades is long rumored to be the creator of the Alien Conspiracy. Born sometime between 42 BC and 4242 AD, in a plant rumored to be between the size of a baseball and the size of the sun, she travlled either 1000 lightyears or 1000 centimeters to reach the planet Earth, where she has begun her conquest of the known world in the effort to set up a "civ[[ilization". She has been known to enjoy Anal probing, claiming it is a recreational sport; furthermore, she claims to have been on the talkshow Dr. Phil no less than 17 times, in various disguises.

She is known to carry many swords with her, every one of them sharper than the next, resulting in an endless amount of sharpening.

Bob Dole claims that she is from Mars.