RPG Maker

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A tool used by gamers for the creation of RPGs. The Playstation games were the only ones to receive an official release; the others were only brought to the USA during a series of hacking attempts (much like Prometheus stealing fire from Olympus); these were the basis for both the Lethal Weapon and Tron movie series thanks to an incident involving a time machine and a history book from 2830.

Picture of a game development site

Versions[edit]

The most famous versions are the 2000th and 2003rd, mostly because all other versions except #95 were corrupted during the cyber thefts. There is a raging debate as to what model is superior. Some prefer the Final Fantasy style gameplay of 2003, while others prefer the old-school Dragon Questiness of 2000. RPG Maker 95 is so horribly outdated in comparison to the other two, mostly because it doesn't even have three digits in its version number. Who would even want a 95 in this day and age when robust 2000 models exist? The only reason it was ever used was because the other two versions hadn't been created yet. An XP version exists, but it contains a horrible bug that gives the characters unlimited experience for some reason.

Games[edit]

Quite a few games have been created with these tools, such as:

The Way[edit]

A game so awesome that it stole the coveted King of Games title from Yugi in a knife fight. It was created by an unassuming Jedi named Luke Skyholtz after being possessed by a demon named Cocoa O Muerto who seduced him with myriad sexual fantasies in an effort to posses him. The possession was only halfway successful, Cocoa was expelled from Luke and remains nothing more than a phantom that continued to scream at him for the rest of eternity, whereas Luke himself, bestowed with part of Cocoa's psyche, took the name Lun Calrassi and proceeded to pen and code his epic. Cocoa maintains to this day that the game is a butchered version of one of the sexual parables that he tried using to tempt Lun, but his messages have a tough time reaching people who don't log on to the message board where he was banished to. Near the end of the project, Lun finally achieved the Dark Lord of the Sith rank and has since been known as Darth Kleunwrade.

Plot[edit]

The plot is so complex (or convoluted) that it tricks the player that the glaring omissions are there for the purpose of suspense. It involves a pathetic loser searching for his girlfriend and his magic sword that contains her spirit as a guardian angel manifested as Paranoia Agent's Lil' Slugger. It is later revealed that his sword is just a symbol for his racism against non whites, and that the whole girlfriend thing was just a false memory implanted from his last victim right before the start of game 1.

There is a subplot regarding the relationship between Traziun and Gaius, the two deserters of the Blood Lyn. The problems between them started during an orgy/battle that they were participating in; Traziun came to the conclusion that monogamous transexuality was better and therefore betrayed his father's goal of an ideal ultraprostitute, while Gaius ditched because, even though he voted polygamy, he was sick of just doing it with the Blood Lyn all the time.

Episodes[edit]

1. The Phantom Slasher
2. Attack of the Scarves
3. Revenge of the Blood Lyn
4. A New Hopelessness
5. Traziun Strikes Back
6. Return of the Pharaphalyn

Other Junk[edit]

Laxius Power[edit]

A three part epic about a swordsman who was lax when he should have used his power to save the world. He finally decided to do something about it in game three after his elven girlfiend refused to let him boink her anymore until he took care of the problem. After defeating some ultra-powerful imitation demons, he was PWND by the real thing almost immediately.

Three the Hard Way[edit]

The son of a bartender decided one day that he was sick of living in his father's basement and decided to join his friend who had similarly left his parents a few days before. It turned out that the market crashed right after he left, forcing him to ply his bad attitude and shanking skills towards bounty hunting instead of being a normal hero. Meanwhile, a group of ancient monsters had learned that their contract mandated a comeback tour even though they had split up decades prior. Famous for puzzles that have actually killed players via ulcers, such as Manteo's "beat me at a game of Simon or I'll rob you" switch puzzle, Teachy's annoying Rubix cube maze, and Ramseur's impossible puzzle.

Iron Gaia[edit]

An executive member of the project in charge of saving the human race wakes up from stasis to discover that he and the other executives sold out humanity to the Borg in exchange for becoming angels in The Matrix. He slowly learned that the others formed an alliance and voted him off, but that the alliance dissolved shortly after because one of the other angels wanted to take control of the orphan that was used as the power source for The Matrix. Fortunately, he still had a chance to win if his new tribe could get immunity in the next challenge. The new tribe consisted of himself, an poorly explained alien, a robot powered by the orphan, and a fourth member that was either Black Mage, Mario, or Solid Snake, depending on who he voted for at the beginning.

Phylomortis[edit]

Blah blah blah, big words, blah blah blah blah, mutants, blah blah blah, crappy early game, blah blah blah blah blah, horrid minigames, blah.

A Blurred Line[edit]

A pre-post-apocalyptic thriller in two acts. Act two is considered to be some of the best gaming since Duke Nukem Forever.

The Blue Contestant[edit]

Also known as Who wants to use their 1337 skills to hack a VR gameshow and sue them for all they're worth?

Horrid Fanfic RPGs[edit]

Don't ask. The only good one is Pokemon Slayer 2.