Rainbow of Darkness

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“It's not that the colours aren't there, it's just the imagination they lack.”

~ Oscar Wilde on The Rainbow of Darkness

The Dark Rainbow is the genetic code found in the cells of Dark Ponies. It is much like DNA, except twisted and tainted by maddening pain. Fueled by the blood of foreigners and the taste of marrow, the Dark Ponies ride to ever encroaching Apocalypse, reaping a terrible path of destruction. If you ever see a Dark Pony, you are already dead and soon to feel the scorching flames of hell.

The Dark Rainbow was created by the devil to torture the innocent. Pure Dark Rainbow is stable, until it reaches critical mass of 5 pounds. At this specific quantity, the Dark Rainbow will mutate into something...else, something more terrifying. Dark Rainbow has been found to be a efficient fossil fuel. However, when Dark Rainbow is burned, it releases Pure Evil into the air. Pure Evil not only eats away the ozone, but also the flesh of anyone unfortunate to be near. Oprah has been found to be nearly 45% Dark Rainbow, and her dire tastes show it. Oprah must consume the souls of twelve unbaptized children daily to replenish her Dark Rainbow.

My shitty computer runs almost entirely on Dark Rainbow, as does my shitty car and shitty girlfriend.