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You have a dirty mind.

“You don't get many of those to the pound”

~ Noel Coward on Rapefruit

While most experiment in flora genetic engineering are at least mostly harmless and innocent and even sometimes useful to humankind the cultured genetically engineered group called rapefruits are seriously dubious, mentally disturbing and absolutely uncalled for. Banned throughout the European Union since the 1997 Maastricht Treaty on Dangerous Fruit, its use is severely prohibited throughout most of the Western World, with the exception of Mexico (where it is utilized in a popular local dish).

Rapefruit species[edit]

The following fruits are defined in the order and class of rapefruit. TITTIESS,

This fruit harbors the temptation factor and is crucial to the inner workings

For obvious reasons the banana is a essential part of this vile fruit.

Rapefruit could never be rapefruit without the peach.

Actually the rapefruit contains 2 different strands of melon.

This component is , of course, the main catalyst for date-rape fruit.

The cherry component makes it much easier to get picked.

Rapefruit in history[edit]

One must not mistake the rapefruit for an attic, Whilst a lot of aphrodisiacs throughout history are indeed fruits of some sort like the date or the cherry comparing Rapefruit to the ancient aphrodisiac is like comparing apples and oranges. The traditional aphrodisiac fruit did not really work as a sexual exciter at all. A lot of work and talent was needed to make the traditional aphrodisiac work at all.

The first know instance of rapefruit was made by Satan who, in an effort to show the stupidity of his arch nemesis gods creation known as man , created the apple ( via god as a proxy or whatever ) to tempt that silly bitch Eve. And silly she was indeed. It was JUST A FREAKIN APPLE !!. Questions why it was prohibited to touch the apple in the first place is a different story altogether albeit it is to be observed that putting 2 people in a overly promiscuous paradise where everything goes, perhaps to forbid consuming the apple ( a harmless, healthy and tasty fruit ) Is .. well typically the kind of bullshit some overzealous idiot god would pull.

And all in all the only thing that apple did was to make them realize they were wearing no clothes. As this lead to sin and all forms of nastiness. Why didn't god use the 7th day to create a fucking wardrobe instead of sitting on his lazy Divine backside ? Surely an easy trivial feat after creating the world , universe and everything.

To call the apple a pure kind of rapefruit is stretching the definition a bit far. For instance the apple/eve connection is purely fictional and the apple in the story actually had some function where, alas, rapefruit does not. Never the less, The apple has become the symbol of rapefruit everywhere.

What does it do[edit]

By now you might be wondering what it is that rapefruit actually does. for it does not act like an aphrodisiac, nor does it represent anything evil or divine that is mentioned in holy books and it does not turn people in rapists of easy victim's . Then what is it that makes it special ? Well, nothing, not to put to fine a point on it. Rapefruit does nothing special at all. By the only proper definition, rapefruit is the collective class of Fruits that by merit of form and striking similarities to sex organs fuel many sexual innuendos. And that is all it is.


Nice and juicy

You can not slip some chick a rapefruit like you would slip her a micky. It is also a foolish notion to believe that eating one will make you susceptible to getting raped or slowly transforming into an evil rapist. You can, however, use it to communicate your wishes or intentions regarding getting to know a person more intimately.

Example :

Wow, look at those melons.
I'd sure like taste her peach.
And then pick her cherry
Mm, I'm hungry, do you have a banana ?

Enybody can instantly see the hidden meaning within this message. We can be sure that the intention is not overlooked and therefor it would be unnecessary for us to translate this since the message is so transparent. To go further in depth on to this specific example would even be considered, in some circles, to be in very bad taste indeed. But fuck that, lets translate anyway.

Well well, feast your eyes on those big tits.
I want to go down on her.
In case of she being a virgin I surely intent to do something about that matter
Mm, I'm hungry, do you have a banana ?

Other innuendo sensitive plants[edit]

The explicit sexual innuendos expressed by rapefruits is not where the parallelization of symbolism within the flora world stops.

Example :

Is that a tree in your pants ?
or are you just happy to see me ?
Sorry, I was looking at your bush.
Sex does not get any healthier then this.

As you can see entire hentai and alternative order types are quite suitable for this kind of cultural use. A very close relative to the rapefruit are the vegetables. The reason why these vegetables are less known within the same context as rapefruits can be explained by the fact that the diversity of the symbolism is not as great as the rapefruits is.vegetables tend to symbolize only phallus structures and lack the broad spectrum of comparability that fruits have, say tits, pussies, assholes, various zombies and of course euformisms for themes like virginity and such. Nevertheless vegetables are indeed very very potent Flori to use when expressing sexual innuendo. as we can see here.


So in the end rapefruit is not more than a lame excuse to hint at sexually tantalizing prospects much to the same extent that this article is nothing more then a lame excuse to insert explicit content and ridicule religion some more.

see also[edit]

In effect the whole concept of rapefruit was made up for the sole purpose to build a frivolous article that contained a see also section which links fuck ,penis ,pussy and rape and such in order to act like a degenerate adolescent bastard without being noticed as such