Ray Keene
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“Keene is to humanity what gravity is to flight.”
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| Name of Office: | Royal British Ambassador |
| Term of Office: | 1976-1990 |
| Predecessor: | Jonathan Penrose |
| Successor: | Nigel Short |
| Date of Birth: | 1948 |
| Profession: | Politics |
| Political party: | Corrupt Party of the Royal Majesty |
Ray Keene was the 2nd Royal British Ambassador. He succeeded Jonathan Penrose whose downfall he himself instigated by framing him for The Great Train Robbery. Keene was to continue on this path of treachery throughout his career.
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[edit] Early Life
After education at Dulwich College and Trinity College, Cambridge (where he studied modern languages), Keene entered the foreign service early seventies. He rapidly gained a reputation for being a duplicitious and opportunistic bastard, and was thus deemed to be perfect for representing Her Majesty's interests abroad.
[edit] Career
After an initial stint in Scotland, he gained the post of Royal Ambassador by framing his rival Jonathan Penrose for the great train robbery.
[edit] Relations with the US
Ray Keene worked closely with the Reilly Administration during the 1970's. But in 1980, after Reilly's capture, Ray Keene was quick to denounce him. This later came to haunt him, as in 1983 Reilly escaped, and banned Ray Keene from ever returning to the United States. Instead, Reilly insisted upon meeting with Ray Keene in England.
[edit] Relations with the USSR
He was met with little favour in the USSR, principally due to his previous role in yogurt exports with the Pinko Commie Viktor Korchnoi, which went awry due to a fatal mix up of standard yogurt with fruit on the bottom yogurt, which is banned in the USSR.
He was highly critocised by Anatoly Karpov during his tenure. Karpov convicingly argued that such an incompetent man could serve better serve in the Great British Circus. Marcus Beronni, the head of the Circus, later said that they were not interested in obtaining any more of the great apes, and dismissed rumors that Ray Keene would infact join them.
[edit] Legacy
Keene has left no mark whatsoever on the modern landscape, principally because everything intelligent he ever said was copied from a collection of speeches by Aaron Nimzovitch.
[edit] Downfall
In 1990 Keene was removed from office primarily over allegations of Animal Abuse. These were later found to be entirely untrue and have rumored to have been concocted by his successor Nigel Short , known as Nosher to his mate.
[edit] Waiter
After the Penguin debacle Keene was reduced to working as a waiter in the Simpson's Cafe in London.
