Ray Manzarek

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Doors2.jpg This article is kick ass. Do not edit it, or else I will have to kill you in your sleep.
However, maybe if I spelled something wrong you can change it, but don't mess with the holiness of the doors.
Ray, the original creator of the Doors.

Ray Manzarek was a musician who, is most known for his role in the band call The Doors, who, were the Jesus of Rock and Roll. The most widely known member of The Doors was Jim Morrison, and he deserves it because he was a beast with his insane poetry, but Ray Robby and John need some respek.

Beginnings[edit]

Ray was born in Chicago, Illinois, gangsta town. He was just another normal kid and all, but he loved his grammie and she taught him how to play the piano. SO he was cool playin his sweet ass piano, when hippieland came to town in the 60s and he was converted. So like some other hippes who had no idea what to do with themselves, decided to go to UCLA and study film and that kind of arty stuff. This was were it began. Yes, it's true. This man can't carry a tune in a bucket.

The Doors[edit]

Ray became friends with someone named Jim Morrison they met in their film class at UCLA. Ray approached Jim one day after the class got done bitching about one of Jim's sweet ass movie based on Nazis and strippers. He told Jim that his film was amazing and they began talking, and they walked along the beaches together in a nongay super awesome brotherly hippy sort of way. Then film school ended (NO JIM DROPPED OUT) and they thought they would never see eachother again. 40-odd days later, Ray bumps into Jim and asks Jim what he's been doing. Jim tells him that he has been writing songs, and sings Moonlit Drive to Ray and Ray has a dry orgasm. They then formed The Doors. They were a normal band at the London Frog until Jim got them fired from getting too high on LSD. After that, they played regularly for food or some pot. Soon enough they got signed to Columbia Records and they were very happy about it, but they go fired a couple moths later because they did'nt do any recording. They went back to prostitution, until they were rediscovered by Elektra Records. Then they became famous.

Fun Facts[edit]

  • Ray Manzarek was actually the 567th governor of Belgium.
  • He died when he was 17, only later to become part of The Doors.
  • Also a well known monkey trainer.
  • Was the husband of the famous Michaelangelo.
  • Was not gay.
  • Had a sexual realationship with a cow.
  • Was a total hippy.
  • Had hippy glasses
  • His piano was made out of pure milk. Very, very, hard milk.
  • Was adored by Ronald Reagan.
  • Was blind in three eyes.
  • Always use playback alive
  • Lost an arm at Waterloo fighting besides Napoleon. But then replacing it with a five fingered penis
  • Usually eats food with his mouth
  • He was the only human member of the Doors.
  • 5% of his blood is LSD.
  • Plays Phil Mitchell in Eastenders
  • Is the lovechild of Marilyn Manson and Hayley Williams
  • His grandparents immigrated to USA from wonderful Poland and were originally named Manczarek. But due to Americans' lack of ability to say cz they changed their names to Manzarek.

Books[edit]

  • Lord Of The Rings: The Twin Towers
  • The Bible
  • Light my Pyromanicity: My Time Setting Fire to Retarded People
  • The Poet on LSD
  • The Scary Scary Civil War
  • The Little Engine That Could
  • Ram It Down: My Life Raising Elephants
  • My Sexual Experience With A Cow

Discography[edit]

  • The Doors
  • Led Zeppelin IV
  • Rare Weeks
  • Zip Zap Rap (feat. Devastatin’ Dave, the Turntable Slave)
  • Wating for the Worms
  • The Black Parade
  • Vulgar Display Of Power
  • Sheraton Hotel
  • L.A. Woman
  • American Idiot
  • Queen II
  • The Motor-Booty Affair
  • Other Voices
  • Incomplete Pentagon
  • An American Prayer (or: A Mike and a Mook)
  • Several Species Of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict

See Also[edit]