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Read is a a word often used in the European Language. It is classified as 'a bugger of a word' due to its insistence to be two completely different words at the same time!


At the dawn of Breakfast, there came about the coming of the books. But for man to master these books, they had to make use of the words. Sure, the pictures are pretty, but World domination is not gained by... oh look! A ducky! Heh heh. Where was I? Ah yes...

The mastering of the words was made by Fred Flintstone. With the invention of reading, everyone was happy, and the monkeys were led to extinction. Damn monkeys! But reading was not happy. He wanted to be cool! And so, he chose the shorter, more cool name, of read. Horrified, the people made a town in his name. And they called it Reading. But it was pronounced, Red-Ing which angered read. In protest, he changed the pronunciation of his name from reed to red. But this blasphemy killed him. And so the people mourned.

From that day forward, they were cursed only to read when they were doing so. Otherwise, they were just red. In the confusion that followed, monkeys managed to recover from extinction and launch (with the help of the Russians) nuclear war! But the reading continued in death for a cursed eternity.

here's a picture to distract you from reading

The Moral[edit]

Don't trust Monkeys.

Another Moral[edit]

Books aren't worth it!

Seriously, how are you going to feel when you finish reading the last Harry Potter book only to realise that it is all in the past tense now? How will you cope with that?

Other Uses[edit]

The word "Read" has many uses in conventional European Language. However, by order of the European Parliament, they cannot be mentioned here.

See Also[edit]