Red Hot Chili Peppers
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The Red Hot Chili Peppers are a band of middle aged Los Angeles Lakers fans who are apparently admired by unfunny comedian and subhuman golem Chris Rock. They are most famous and recognizable for writing songs about sex, California and, occasionally, having sex in California who were around for just as long but only made it to '98. Way to go asshole. They formed around 1915, due to a crisis many refer to as World War I, which didn't entirely exist, but was only a fictitious reason for people to shoot other people. At that time, many countries were poor, so they had to send alternatives to humans into battles, such as animals. Luckily, the Red Hot Chili Peppers prevented many coyotes from being killed, by convincing those that were against them that they would be "true men" if they don't shoot them. After they saw this sucess, Anthony Kiedis, frontman and all of Slipknot, said that they Can't Stop, and therefore we have been listening to middle-aged men even long after the war was finished. Because of these retards (points at Anthony) they helped destroying one of the best bands ever. Because of these cunts not everyone has heard of Mr. Bungle which they all should know!
In 1999, John finally blowjobbed, to quit his addiction to making bad records, and screeching like a cock. This prompted him to call the Chili Peppers, and see if they could manage to put him back in. Once they heard this, the RHCP promptly put Dave Navaro up for adoption. With years of frustration built up, the Chilis had a new mission: take everything that was wrong with the world and kick it in the testicles. They vowed to never again let the world enter such a lowly state. Anthony decided in 1990 that Flea, the bass player, should never be allowed to wear any clothes apart from a skeleton suit. They will blow your motherfucking mind and eat your biscuits. John has also noted in a recent interview with Eggnog magazine that he consistently dined on egg yolk during his exile and licked up egg all day long as well as creating his own breed of deviled eggs which he cared for and then released into the wild whilst writing a whole album for his lost wanderer's in the mean time. The magazine rated him as #17 on the list of 50 greatest egg consumers of all time.
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[edit] Fashion Sense
Practically, they do not have fashion sense because they do not need it. They have been known to walk around the Times Square and in some of their concerts wearing only socks on their dicks.
[edit] The Chosen Re-appear
On The Day After Tomorrow, one of "The Chosen Ones" (And some of his Finest and his Blondest friends) told us of the strange happenings on his magical trip. When asked what he saw he responded "Beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, yeah yeah!". He then went on to say after squeezing the warm Pissgold from their clothes, bottling and hastily selling on eBay they were were given tattooed Nunchucks and commanded to "Suck My Kiss", after this they were trained in shopkeeping in which they had to "Give it Away". After this they were taken "Around the World" in an "Aeroplane" made of "Porcelain" , on arriving on the "Otherside" of a "Warped" and slightly "Parallel Universe" , they sat "Under the Bridge", whilst sitting, on a "Rolling Sly Stone" next to a "Slow Cheetah", until Anthony Kiedis exclaimed "I "Can't Stop" thinking about how much "Catholic School Girls Rule" because they look like "Grand Pappy Du Plenty"." and Flea replied "They have great "Hump de Bump"s!" The main Chosen One held his "Black Cross" and decided their "Fortune Faded". They contacted the trainer "Dr. Funkenstein" and said ""My lovely man" if you want "Me and My Friends" to stay you must offer us "Brandy" and "This Velvet Glove" "By the Way", if you could tell us why we were "Naked in the rain" and commanded to "Get on top" we would be much obliged. The trainer declined, though he "Could Have Lied", so the Spectacular and Wonderful Chilis followed the "Uplift Mofo Party Plan". This sparked fury in the Chosen and they decided to re-appear in the world, as if by "Blood Sugar Sex Magik".
[edit] Hiatus
After touring around the world, feeding Africa, and saving the world from Hillary Clinton, the band is currently under hiatus and will take a rest from making "music". Meanwhile each member will take time off to spend with their families.... except John. He's going to release more solo albums including "40 Minutes of Moaning" and "Weird Noises That I Made in the Bathroom". Flea is also rumoured to have agreed to reprise his role as gollum in the upcoming film the hobbit. Anthony is reported to once again be "addicted to the shindig"
[edit] Best of the Chili Peppers
This is a hand picked selection of songs by The Red Hot Chili Peppers. They sat around and agreed that these were by far the best songs. One unheard bonus song was added for your pleasure.
- California
- California
- California
- California
- California
- California
- California
- California
- California
- California
- California (the bonus song)
