Red Skull

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The Red Skull announces his plan for revenge on Simon Cowell.

The Red Skull is an evil man who wants to conquer the world. He is in reality American Idol finalist Sanjaya Malakar. He is an enemy of Bucky, Captain America, Oscar Wilde, and Simon Cowell, and he is allies with Adolf Hitler, Tom Cruise, and Christopher Walken.

Early Years[edit]

The Red Skull was born Sanjaya Malakar in 1642 to Indian parents in Gay Town as the youngest of two brothers. His elder brother, Keldor, would later become the cosmic supervillain Skeletor and emigrate to a distant planet on the far side of the Milky Way to mess around with He-Man and proclaim himself "Master of the Universe". Sanjaya was ridiculed because of his girlie physique and his high pitched, gay voice. People called him the next Michael Jackson. So, he decided to do that and auditioned for American Idol.

Sanjaya absolutey sucked asshole when he sang, so he used mind control on America to make him be able to have him win. Then, after this, he would conquer the world. He gained a hate for Simon Cowell, who said he sucked and would quit the show if he won. Then, the unthinkable happened.

Before the accident.

Transformation[edit]

The superhero Bucky soon realized Sanjaya's plan and planned to strike. The night of his performance when he sang Lets Give The Man A Blow Job, Bucky crashed through the ceiling and attacked the villain and broke his mind control. Sanjaya tried to make him listen to his horrible voice, but Bucky turned the tables on him and made him listen to his music, which melted his face - it was sooooo horrible. Coincidentally, just about the same thing happened to Keldor, except that Keldor had his "injury" since birth. Sanjaya escaped, and plotted his next attack.

Revenge[edit]

Sanjaya after his transformation.

The Red Skull, as Sanjaya was now called, started a new plan. He had decided to go and kill Bucky and Simon Cowell. They were both seeing that crappy Captain America movie with Matt Salinger in it. He launched a deadly gas that smelt like a thousand Middle Eastern people that would leave them dead of the stench. Bucky found out about this and he saved the people and Simon made him cry when he said that he sucked so bad that Eddie Murphy could sing better than he could. He was captured and sent to prison.

Soon after this, Sanjaya was released from prison when he was almost raped by fellow inmate, Saddam Hussein. He decided to form a team called the Liberators of Evil, which had himself, Adolf Hitler, Christopher Walken, and Tom Cruise. They decided to kill all of people on Earth with Sanjaya's voice. Bucky and Simon teamed up with Captain America and Oscar Wilde to destroy this threat. Hitler, Walken, and Cruise were easily beaten, but Sanjaya was still standing. He captured a young girl and sang to her and she cried. Bucky was enraged and gave the jerk off a right hook to the face. He was sent back to prison again.

Bucky beats the shit out of Sanjaya.

House of Sanjaya Scandal[edit]

Sanjaya was released one more time and he started a beauty salon called the House of Sanjaya. He started making people clones of himself. Sanjaya became famous for making an army of Sanjayas. However, one Sanjaya made accusations that he was molested and raped by the Red Skull. He was sent to court and was found innocent because he said another Sanjaya did it. Michael Jackson, afraid the Red Skull was taking his role, called on an aging Bucky to defeat the monstrosity.

The Final Battle[edit]

As Sanjaya was making his clones, Bucky started to make his own army, which was called Delta Force, and included members like Chuck Norris, James Bond, Prince, Bob Saget, Angela Lansbury, and Lou Diamond Phillips. They finally came to battle In The Land Of Women, with the gay Sanjayas not liking the women. As Delta Force fought the Sanjaya army, Bucky squared off against the Red Skull. Bucky was winning, until Sanjaya used his secret weapon.

Sanjaya lit Bucky on fire by singing Thriller, which killed Bucky. It looked as if the Red Skull finally won. But Chuck Norris, who was enraged that his commander was killed, cut off Sanjaya's head and watched him die. Bucky was revived shortly afterward and became the Winter Soldier as he started to kill t.v. talk show hosts. So basically, Sanjaya died for nothing.

The Red Skull celebrating his victory over Bucky. Even though the Red Skull will die five mintutes later.

The Sing-Off Incident[edit]

However, the Red Skull came back. But he didn't want to fight Bucky since he kicked his ass so many times. So he decided to attack Sting. He didn't like him since he could sing a thousand times better than he could. They had a sing-off in Harlem, where Sting sang "My Visit To The Lavatory". He did well, and defeated him by screaming, "GAY INDIAN DICKHEAD," in his ears. This caused him to cry. He ran away. It seems to be unclear if he will return. Hopefully, he won't.

See Also[edit]