Red firetruck effect

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“If you can make one heap of all your biters and make fun of them at the same time, then yours is the earth and all that is in it, and you'll be a man my son!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Red firetruck effect

The Red firetruck effect is the method in which you can measure how much of a biter somebody is, and how fast it takes for them to bite.

[edit] Beginnings

The Red firetruck effect was discovered by Dr. Sebastian in the sweltering summer sun of Smarch 1776 at the boy scout camp. His fellow Ben The Moron was being a biter, and Dr. Sebastian wished to apply science to this biting. He and his collegue, Red Poop, created new adjactives to exclaim at every possible interval and see how long it takes for Ben to copy these words.

[edit] Example

Seb- "Look at this new shirt I got!"

Red Poop- "Wow! That shirt is so red-firetruck!"

Ben- "Yeah! It's red-firetruck!"

Seb- "actually, I think it's blue-table,"

Ben- "Yeah! So blue-table!"

As you can see, the subject instantly adapts to these new adjactives as soon as they are used. Clearly, Ben suffers from a severe case of biteritis. This process was dubbed "The Red Firetruck Effect" by Dr. Sebastian, because it was the first adjactive used in the test. A more severe form of biteritis is bensabiteritus-maximus, it is less well known then biteritus, but is just as deadly.

[edit] The Red Firetruck Effect in Modern Science

The Red Firetruck Effect was declared a form of blasphemy in 1912 and all books documenting the method were torn from shelves and burned. It still lives on though in a 3-1/2" floppy disc hidden in the secretly preserved body of Hitler buried under the Eiffel Tower.