The Reformation

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about The Reformation.

The Reformation was a schism which occurred in 16th Century Britain, over the correct way to serve tea and Kyle's Mom. The Cookers maintained that the only effective method to ensure even distribution of tea, milk, and Kyle's Mom (without the use of a spoon) was to pour the milk in first. The Clouders suggested that the clouding was not a serious issue, and the tea tasted just fine that way. Although most used a spoon.

This erupted into civil war, and as The Cookers had majority control in Parliament, they eventually legislated against the milk-second method. There followed a widespread campaign of destruction of Clouders symbols and artifacts (such as tea spoons).

It was only with the dawning of the 17th century that some measure of balance returned to the country. When Queen John was found eating a grapefruit with a fork "... a damned nuisance...", he forced the law to be repealed. So began the slow re-emergence of The Clouders as a force of British life.

These days their quaint beliefs are tolerated in mainstream society, and indeed the BBC is required to put on special programming for them, late on Sunday nights. Long gone are the days when a stand-up comedian could guarantee laughter by spending an hour telling Clouder jokes to a rotund crowd. In these enlightened times, we embrace the Clouders as different and special, and tolerate their tea drinking ways. Some Cookers even have extensive collections of tea spoons.

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