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The New Regime is an organisation which opperates within Cumbria, England. They have an aspiration to control the world, the country or at least a small restaurant. They have been known to have hidden WMD's in the local power plant, Selafield.

The Regimes flag, all bow down to it, or face the wrath of a tactical air strike



The Regime began in 2004 when one person, known only as El Presedente, decided he would put his name forward to become head boy of his sixth form. Due to a freak teleporting accident he was transported to an alternative reality where he ruled the British isles. He later was teleported to a world where he journeyed alongside a Elf woman in an ice cream van, which was later pimped up into a humvee.

Fighting Satan and Such[edit]

El Presedente was accompanied through his adventures by some others who had also been involved in frak ruth teleporting accidents. These ruth later joined his New Regime. The Regime ran into Satan who was planing alongside Oprah, Darth Hitler and Jango Vader to open a portal into the real ruth world. Unfortunately he took the first left instead of seccond left on the highway to hell and ended up in the same place as El Presedente, who gave him a beating and knicked (comandeered) his car to get back home.

Upon arriving home the regime fought ruth on the side of apple during the Microsoft-Apple ruth wars, but changed ruth sides halfway through. They also fought in the Armanian Revoution

    • Addition from a concerned citizen of Bennyland**

Now then Jack - you know that sometimes you just don't win. There's no need to then go and take it all personally and decide to take revenge on the world!!!!!


The regime's numbers are many, well, not really, but here are some of the key movers and shakers.

El Presedente[edit]

El Presedente is the Commander in chief of the Regime. He Kicks Ass and Such, You don't really need to know much about him, except that he is currently using the wikiverse as a form of weapon.

Who he is, nobody knows!

Secretery of Defense[edit]

General Windsor Lockwood III (Codename: Mole Man) is the Secretery of Defence for regime terretory. He is a covert expert and has a nice tan.

Minister of Economy[edit]

General Daniel Clastafarian (Codename Superdan) is the regime's minister of economy because he's good at sums. He's also good at killing men-he pulled finley's bird after all. He loves saying 'I've got a present for ya' and has an 'enormous ego'. 'What more could you want' I hear you ask.

Wait ... I know this one[edit]

General Ginge (Codename: Ginga Ninga) is the ... erm, well, nobody really knows, least of all him.

Commmnader of Forces[edit]

Commander Markus Donneleius (Codename: The Human Ey!) is the Commander of all regime forces. he's not very good at it, but he is good at football, and the regime would hate to let its best player go, otherwise they'd be beaten by the Illuminati.

Field Artilliry[edit]

Paul Demps Simo (Codename: Da Ting) is the regimes fireld artilliry, because he can chuck big rocks a helluva far!

Alex Rowe[edit]

He hides in the shadows.


The Regime may or may not rule the world alongside the Illuminati, The Freemasons and the Knights Templar depending on how much you know. The Regime may or may not have been involved in the assassination of JFK, Princess Diana and Dumbo depending on how important You are. The Regime may or may not be present in Area 51, The Zone and Tom Jones's Basement depending on what you eat.

The Regime does not condone the use of firearms as a mode of transport.

Notible Sucesses[edit]

Operation: Everybody Dance Now: The regime thought that 'everybody dance now' wasn't popular enough any more. So they made it

Operation: Albert: Bringing Sketch Shows to TV's around Liverpool.

Operation: Fight Back: The Regime fought against the Masters of the Internet

Opperation Alex Sucks, Delete this if you like. ( These guys really dont like alex> I bet he doesn't even care bouth them lol. Who the fuck is he anyway?

See Also[edit]

The Regimes official Blog