Republic of the Congo

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دRepublic of the Congo
Republic of Congo
Niggerland

(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "The Republic of Congo is ze best, America is lies!!! LIES I TELL YOU!!"
Anthem: "Allah save <insert name here>"
Capital	New York
Largest city	Timbuktu
Official languages	African, Spanish, Portuguese, and Kentuckish.
Government	There is no official government
National Hero(es)	Captain Obvious
Declaration of Independence	From the Holy Empire of Kentuckistan.
Currency	The Rand
Religion	Jewish, Islam, and Buddhism.

The Republic of Congo (Formerly known as Congo under Kentuckian authority.) is a Third world country in Africa. Once under Kentuckian authority, it was filled with death, slavery, rape, and poverty. Now it is just filled with Rape, Poverty, and Death. It now has no official government. Several factions within the nation's borders claim to have power of Congo. Such as PETA, an example of one of the many factions. Congo has not always been split apart. Nearly 80% of its population fought against the Holy Kaiser Harland Sanders of the Holy Empire of Kentuckistan in 673BC and fought on for another 200 years.

In 473 BC, the Holy Kaiser Harland Sanders admitted defeat and signed a treaty to free Congo from his tight grasps. Today, the country remains split in several clans. Although filled with Death, the many leaders of it claim it is paradise. And the freedom of the United States of America is full of lies. LIES I TELL YOU!!

Contents 1 History 2 Geography 2.1 Climate 2.2 Natural Resources 3 The War 3.1 The Result 4 Citizens 5 National Pastimes 6 Politics 6.1 PETA 7 Military 7.1 Current Conflicts

[edit] History

The history of Congo is shrouded in mystery. Traces of Human settlements here date back nearly 4 billion years. Paleontologists have recently unearthed a skeleton. Interestingly, there was more than one skeleton, there was three. They were in a sexual position. Which proves that Pornography is the oldest form of entertainment. Congo is now well known for its inventions in sexual positions such as The Spread Eagle, The Spiderman, Doggy Style, and other sex moves.

Congo has never had an official government besides The Empire of Kentuckistan. Whom they kicked out. The only official leader of Congo besides Harland Sanders seems to point to Shaka Zulu. Shaka brought amazing technologies to the people of Congo such as The Wheel, Clothing, and Sticks. No other information can be provided.

[edit] Geography

Congo lies between Gabon and a much larger Congo called The Democratic Republic of the Congo. Whom is much more civilized. Southern Congo is mostly Jungle, and where most of the civilians settle. The desert is in the northern area of Congo. The country suffers many Earthquakes One killed half of Timbuktu's population in 1456 AD.

[edit] Climate

Congo is FUCKING HOT! It only rains 1-2 times a year in northern Congo. Making it impossible to live there. So, you must travel to southern Congo. It rains a lot more often in the south. It snows several times a year. Temperatures in Congo have been known to reach heights as hot as the surface of the sun.

[edit] Natural Resources

Oil and Diamonds is plentiful in Congo. It's economy is dependent on the growth of weed to ship to the United States. Oil, Diamonds, and Gold is all used to make the hardest oil powered sex toys. Extremely expensive and sextoys as hard as Diamonds, it is a toy many people suggest you purchase. Stop READING and get your Debi Diamond Anal Beads today![1]

[edit] The War

The Congo Rebellion lasted 200 years. Belligerents were several united Congo factions and the Holy Empire of Kentuckistan. Kentuckistan controlled Congo for nearly 200,000 years. The people were fed up with their leadership and attacked. Their primary weapons being Rocks and Sticks generously provided by Shaka Zulu. The war continued for 200 years. Famous battles such as the Battle of Timbuktu, a Congo victory, helped Congo in the war. Several losses such as the Battle of Shagville brought down the moral of Congo's soldiers alot.

[edit] The Result

Just when all seemed lost. George W. Bush of the United States stepped in and took Kentuckistan's armies from behind, and attacking there shipments of supplies that were supplying the soldiers at the front lines. Harland Sanders immediately called for a ceasefire, although pissed the hell off, he had no choice but to let go of Congo. Congo celebrated by getting completely smashed and having a Disco Ball. The next morning everyone had headaches and started wondering what the hell happened. When they finally recovered they realized there was no leader. The Clans split and has been fighting for power ever since.

[edit] Citizens

Congo is home to over 301 million people. IT has a Mix of Races and Religions. The Black Population is decreasing while the White Population is slowly growing. The Africans seem to be dying of AIDS at an alarming rate. While conservative White folk are coming to own their own slaves. A right they lost in the United States after the American Civil War. Brits are among the whiteys that wish to own their own black child. Get em while you can!

White People:	30% and Growing
Black People:	60% and dropping
Hispanics:	9% (Illegal)
Other	1%

[edit] National Pastimes

There are plenty of National Pastimes in the great Republic of Congo. Soccer, Basketball, Halo, Shooting People, Enslaving People, Raping People, Fighting, Fucking Camels, and more Rape. Congo has won several gold medals in the Olympics for Rape and Camel Fucking. They also came in 3rd in a Free-For-All match in Halo 3 with China and the USSR. They melt down the gold medals to turn them into even more Sex toys.

[edit] Politics

Politics are usually debated in the battle field. The Democratic Party and the Republican Party are the largest parties. When the parties have differences they take it to the desert, where most battles take place and kill each other. It is eventually resolved by shaking hands and buying each other a beer.

[edit] PETA

PETA is the largest Faction in Congo, and their leader, Joaquin Phoenix, leads them to countless victories. Although they are larger in numbers, it is not the most technologically advanced military on the battlefield.

[edit] Military

Sense Congo's military is split and shared with several war clans, it really has no military, and left nearly defenseless against stronger nations in Africa. However, the Congolese Nazi Party, a faction in Congo who wishes to revive the Nazi's is the strongest clan in Congo. It's most advanced rifle, the M1 Garand, imported from the US, keeps invaders out.

[edit] Current Conflicts

Democratic Republic of the Congo:	A country East of Congo attempting to overthrow.
The United States:	Bush searching for oil as he claims Congo has WMD'S.

 v • d • e

Countries and territories of Africa

North Africa	Algeria · Egypt · Libya · Morocco · Sudan · Tunisia · Western Sahara
West Africa	Benin · Burkina Faso · Côte d'Ivoire · Ghana · Guinea · Guinea-Bissau · Liberia · Mali · Mauritania · Niger · Nigeria · Senegal · Sierra Leone · Togo
Central Africa	Angola · Cameroon · Belgium · Central African Republic · Chad · Democratic Republic of the Congo · Equatorial Guinea · Gabon · Republic of the Congo
East Africa	Burundi · Djibouti · Eritrea · Ethiopia · Kenya · Madagascar · Malawi · Mauritius · Mozambique · Rwanda · Seychelles · Somalia · Tanzania · Uganda · West Kenya · Zambia · Rhodesia
Southern Africa	Botswana · Lesotho · Namibia · People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata · South Africa · Swaziland · Zululand
Dependencies	United Kingdom :  Gibraltar · Indian Ocean Territory · Isle of Wight · Welsh Congo (Pitcairn Islands)