Rest Of World

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Rest of World (ROW) is a vast wasteland lying directly to the North, South, East and West of the United States of America.


Little is known about ROW's history; many speculate that it was formed in 1940 by the evil God, as a testing ground for nuclear weapons.


ROW is estimated to contain at least 63% of the Earth's land space within its boundaries. Its time zones are -12 UTC to +12 UTC. It has been said, presumably by Oscar Wilde, that the Sun never sets on ROW. This is probably because all the people would burn to death if it did.

There are three main parts of ROW: North ROW, the rich area; South ROW, the poor area; and Anomalous ROW, the parts which don't fit in economically with their northness or southness.

Areas especially mysterious include Australia, the forsaken land, England, the charming yet repulsive land, Canada, the bitch, and that whole, African-Euro-Asian-Pacific area which has little to do with anything.


ROW's exports include Terrorism, Communism, Drugs and Immigrants.

Its main imports are Freedom and Democracy. Ever since Thomas Jefferson discovered Freedom and Democracy in America in 1776, the United States have regularly produced abundant surpluses of these goods. This is fortunate for ROW, which has no natural sources of Freedom and Democracy at all, so is dependent on America for regular deliveries. These are also known as invasions.


For some reason, the people of ROW can't decide on a currency. Many choose something which they call the dollar, but is worth less than an American dollar because ROW isn't as good as America. Others have chosen to use currencies in which the most simple of commodities is worth millions of units; this is generally seen as an easy way of becoming a millionaire.


Many people in ROW speak English, which is the same as American English except they spell words differently and say them in a silly accent. Others do not, which makes it difficult to know much about their culture. However, experiments in Guantanamo Bay have shown that these non-English speaking types are capable of speaking such phrases as "Have mercy" and "Please let me die".