Rhode Island Driving Laws

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Rhode Island Driving Laws are considered far and wide as the safest in the world. As such they have often been given credit for the great driving abilities of people of the Rhode Island faith.

[edit] A Brief Understanding of Rhode Island Driving Laws

In a new age of existence, the Rhode Island Council of Elders and the Close to Death (RICE_CD) knew that they needed something new and fresh to stay hip and instyle. After browsing the internets for many an hour they finally created their 1337 Killer App what they were looking for. The utter greatness that is the Rhode Island Driving Laws Wiki: The code of laws anyone can edit!

The wiki proved to be a great success with people NOT from Rhode Island, much to RICE_CD's puzzlement. Regardless they were famous now, and honestly couldn't care a flying fuck about the local opinion.

[edit] Some Excerpts From the Rhode Island Driving Laws Wiki

'This list is far from complete'

• Banked Corners are there to encourage speeds in excess of 100mph.

• All cars are rated on the metric unit pinto. Acceptable levels of car combustibility are Five Megapintos and up.

• If someone from New York or Massachusetts cuts you off, you may do anything to run them off the road and cause a horrific fatal accident.

• If you have a British passenger in the car you may drive on the other side of the road to make him feel comfortable.

• If you cannot carpool, you must fill up at least one seat with blasting jelly.

• In case someone's being an asshole, all driver are required to have an UZI 9mm in their car.

• Seatbelts are not forbidden.

• Windshields are not forbidden.

• When passing the Big Blue Bug, aka Nibbles Woodaway, on I-95 it is customary to offer a comely virgin to ensure safe passage through his domain.

• I-295 has a .0000000000000001 drink maximum

• Failure to block on-coming traffic when taking a left will not result in a loss of license, but will result in huge explosions. (note: licenses are not required for operation of a motor vehicle in Rhode Island)

• It is mandatory to swing to the left before before turning right. This keeps the person behind you alert.

• The proper way to contest a parking ticket is to see "Buckles" outside the Old Canteen Restaurant on Federal Hill, Friday nights between 7:00-12:00PM. Please bring $50- in a plain brown envelope.

• All driving on the highway must be done any dang way you please.

• Eating while driving in the car is promoted, bonus points if its hot/bigger than your head!

• If someone's giving you a hard time, you may do whatever you dang well want to do.

• Use of directionals ain't a felony, it's just plain frowned upon.

• Drivers are required to change lanes whenever the fuck they want.

• Collision damage is a popular form of vehicle customization among certain peoples in Rhode Island, especially in Central Falls.

• GRENADE!!

• You may do demolition derbies with other people if you want to.

• You may eat cereal with milk and a spoon while driving, but ONLY if you agree to drive with your knees.

• Drivers over the age of 55 are required to subtract their age from the speed limit sign and drive at that speed. Drivers between 18 and 40 are required to add their parents age to the speed limit sign and then do 10 MPH over that.

• Each day has a particular theme:
  • Sunday is mandatory peel out day!
  • Monday is mounted spikes day!
  • Tuesday is plowing down the elderly day!
  • Wednesday is obstruct a 4 way intersection day!
  • Thursday is overheat the engine day!
  • Friday is personal vengeance day!
  • Saturday is lawless day!