Right now

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Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Right now.

The original concept of right now was first conceived by the earliest humans. Just like these days in life spouses would let themselves go after marriage. Husband and wife repeatedly demanded each other to lose some weight right now. No one went on a diet and continued to get fat which caused people to go insane. A conclusion to the right now theory was never found because no one lost weight which was the only thing people cared about... seriously though, who wants to fuck a fat ass?

The difference between Now and Right Now[edit]

While now is a general moment in time, right now is more specific and is to mean from the moment the person says right now to the end of the phrase. Now is meant to state what is going on at the current time of the event(s). For example, The Iraq War is happening now means the war has been going on for some time and people are still being killed as that statement was made. As for right now, We should get out of Iraq right now means that as that statement was made it should be commanded to happen. Obviously nothing will change, but that's for another article to ramble on about.

Recent events[edit]

Albert Einstein was the first to try to solve the right now conundrum. Unfortunately for Einstein, equations are not needed to solve right now (what a dumb shit). He spent his final days yelling at his wife to lose weight when he discovered that it would never happen. What made sex with her worse was that she was twice as ugly as Al.

The wars seen from space. Holy fuck, people love nuclear warheads

After Al died society was lost in hysteria and confusion. Wars started abruptly and no amount of law enforcement could stop random acts of violence. Most problems started by the angry husband requesting the wife to "lose some weight right now, fatty" with the wife responding "fuck you, asshole."

The only way to finally end the madness was to ask the smartest people in the world to solve right now. When Stephen Hawking was asked to solve it he responded by asking the public in his computer-like voice: "WHAT ARE YOU, FUCKIN' RETARDS? PLEASE STOP KILLING EACH OTHER." It was evident that people immediately figured out right now is always happening, and that millions of their children were being raped by porcupines while the adults were wasting their time by paying attention to each other's weights and lawns. War would've stopped sooner, but everyone knows America loves violence, explosions, and anything else involving death or decay.

The rock band Van Halen has recently released a musical documentary of the wars under the name of "Right Now" for their album F.U.C.K. The single alone had received Diamond ranking sales and had broken Michael Jackson's "Thriller" record. Also, the album has been received with critical acclaim. David Lee Roth has never hated Sammy Hagar more.

What usually happens right now[edit]