Right to Arm Bears

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“I do not believe in the right to bear arms, but I believe in the right to arm bears!”

~ Abraham Lincoln on Right to Arm Bears

The Second Amendment, as passed by the Congress and ratified by the States, reads:

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and arm Bears shall not be infringed.

Supporters of the Second Amendment insist that the right to arm bears must be preserved as long as the country is to remain free. Others point to increased violence among those who arm bears, and cite that a reduction in this behavior would lead to a safer country. Still, others point to an increasing amount of government control and limited rights, and that "the people, at any time, must be able to rise up and overthrow its government." People who oppose this line of thought say "get a job you Midwest psycho redneck," to which no counter debate has been formed. More recently, controversy has arisen over whether bears may be armed with nuclear missiles. Despite strong protest from many stinky Europeans, the glorious American political machine has demanded that citizens may indeed employ any sort of armament of their bear militias, including nuclear and even laser cannons. As development progresses in phase cannon technology at DARPA, it is expected that phase-cannon toting bears may soon become en vogue, and due to the stylishness of the cannons, may become more popular among women folk.

One indisputable fact remains, however: Armed bears look COOOOOOL.