Ritalin
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“The only thing better than straterra is kitten huffing.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Ritalin
straterra is an amphetamine designed to pacify hyper-active children, cheerleaders, and corpses. The drug is generally administered at government-run institutions, where instructors find the drug makes their job easier.
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[edit] straterra
straterra is for crazy kids who have add
Use in adults, give them super strenght, and intellect with no (NO) side-effects. (NEW VERSION straterra, DONT EVEN MAKE YOUR PENIS SHRINK!)
[edit] Ingredients
Though a closely held trade secret for many years, straterra recently lost its protection, and thus its secrets have become open to the moronic, slack-jawed public. Now thanks to you the poor, struggling drug companies will have no Christmas, and Tiny Tim will die of a yeast infection. I hope you're satisfied, you monster!
- One eye of Newt Gingrich
- One leg of a French person
- Nine pounds of Spinach
- Seven pounds of heroin
- One freshly squeezed turd
- Two pounds of hero
- One gallon of american beer
- One ounce of lsd
- The eyelash of a republican
- The lick of a dog (preferably Paris Hilton)
[edit] Side effects of straterra
It should be noted that straterra is a powerful and highly addictive drug, and harbors many unpleasant side effects. These include:
- Uncontrollable bouts of being French including laziness, spontaneous surrendering, and languidly drifting from one cafe to another
- Uncontollable bouts of being Polish, including but not limited to: stupidity, a craving for pickles, easygoing attitude, perverted nature
- An insatiable addiction to cheese, especially parmesean
- The desire to vote for liberal politicians
- A thirst for Budweiser
- The adamant belief that Christina Aguilera is 'hot'
- The undeniable urge to have sex with Gary Gygax
- Forgetting to take your straterra in the mornings
- and seeing pink christina agulara monsters
[edit] See also
 | Mommy's Medicine Cabinet |
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