Road Runner

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“Beep beep!”

~ Road Runner on Damn near anything

“Road Runner meat must taste real good”


What a REAL fucking Road Runer is (1970 model shown, Manufacturer: Plymouth Division of Chysler Corp.)


Not to be confused with Homestar Runner

Road Runner: Moparicus-Gofasticus, New Mexico State Bird

The Road Runner is many things... (OK 2) - a kick ass cartoon character on TV - a really kick ass cartoon character on four wheels in the form of the Plymouth Roadrunner

Warner Bros. Created This smart little bird and its nemesis coyote to sell to Plymouth 1n 1968 To make the coolest muscle car of all goddamn time


- Chevys

- Fords

- Any other fucking car

- High octane gasoline

- oil

- ACME Bird seed

- Barq's Root Beer

Grues drive Plymouth Road Runners. they also feast on non Mopar products

Road Runner Attribures[edit]


What makes a Road Runner go fast? A 426 HEMI!!! The average speed of Road Runners is 100 MPH with a top speed of 160 MPH The cartoon characters leave a little dust trail, The Cars leave a trail of tire smoke and a big bruise on the asses of whoever tries to catch it

If you see a Plymouth Road Runner[edit]

Run like hell, you cannot beat it in a race, you cannot afford to buy your own, you must worship it and sacrifice your piece of crap car to it. REMEMBER Grues drive Plymouth Road Runners, A Grue might be in the vicinity of a parked Road Runner and might eat you and set your piece of crap car on fire. If a Grue driving a Plymouth Road Runner is coming up behind you PREPARE TO DIE. You cannot out run it. (it's a HEMI) he will shove you off the road, watch you crash violently, and then eat you. (whew)

The Horror[edit]

Well If the above hasn't made you shit your pants, maybe this will

Known owners of Plymouth Road Runners or Cartoon Road Runners as pets[edit]

Chuck Norris

John Reep - the HEMI guy

David Spade

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Nicholas Cage

Johnny Knowville

Hayden Christensen

Paul Teutel of OCC

Oscar Wilde(the pet)

NOTE. Said people are skilled enough and have licenses to own Grues as pets too. they use them as designated drives when they are drunk and use them as guards (pitbulls are illegal). you may be eaten by a grue for obvious fucking reasons

See Also[edit]

Grue, most important, other than that whatever you want.

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