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“Beep beep!”

~ Road Runner on Damn near anything

What a REAL fucking Road Runer is (1970 model shown, Manufacturer: Plymouth Division of Chysler Corp.)

Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Beatrice is the Orphans' Mother, Maxim kills Rebecca, Verbal Kint is Keyzer Söze, Buffy dies twice, Homestar Runner shot Caleb Rentpayer, Kreia was a Sith Lord and only Atton and the Disciple saw that coming, the Joker kills Jason Todd, Lowrie fulfills the wish list, but dies, Orr faked his death, and he and Yossarian escape in a rubber raft, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!

[edit] Introduction

Road Runner: Moparicus-Gofasticus, New Mexico State Bird

The Road Runner is many things... (OK 2) - a kick ass cartoon character on TV - a really kick ass cartoon character on four wheels in the form of the Plymouth Roadrunner

Warner Bros. Created This smart little bird and its nemesis coyote to sell to Plymouth 1n 1968 To make the coolest muscle car of all goddamn time

[edit] Diet

- Chevys

- Fords

- Any other fucking car

- High octane gasoline

- oil

- ACME Bird seed

- Barq's Root Beer

Grues drive Plymouth Road Runners. they also feast on non Mopar products

[edit] Road Runner Attribures

What makes a Road Runner go fast? A 426 HEMI!!! The average speed of Road Runners is 100 MPH with a top speed of 160 MPH The cartoon characters leave a little dust trail, The Cars leave a trail of tire smoke and a big bruise on the asses of whoever tries to catch it

[edit] If you see a Plymouth Road Runner

Run like hell, you cannot beat it in a race, you cannot afford to buy your own, you must worship it and sacrifice your piece of crap car to it. REMEMBER Grues drive Plymouth Road Runners, A Grue might be in the vicinity of a parked Road Runner and might eat you and set your piece of crap car on fire. If a Grue driving a Plymouth Road Runner is coming up behind you PREPARE TO DIE. You cannot out run it. (it's a HEMI) he will shove you off the road, watch you crash violently, and then eat you. (whew)

[edit] The Horror

Well If the above hasn't made you shit your pants, maybe this will

[edit] Known owners of Plymouth Road Runners or Cartoon Road Runners as pets

Chuck Norris

John Reep - the HEMI guy

David Spade

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Nicholas Cage

Johnny Knowville

Hayden Christensen

Paul Teutel of OCC

Oscar Wilde(the pet)

NOTE. Said people are skilled enough and have licenses to own Grues as pets too. they use them as designated drives when they are drunk and use them as guards (pitbulls are illegal). you may be eaten by a grue for obvious fucking reasons

[edit] See Also

Grue, most important, other than that whatever you want.

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