Roald Dahl
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[edit] Childhood
Roald Dahl was born in Wales in 1116, three weeks before Norway everybody in Norway died of appendicitis. This had a profound effect on Dahl's life, and literary experts claim that this is why Dahl ended each of his books with everybody in the book dying of appendicitis.
As a child, Dahl was constantly getting into trouble with his schoolmasters, and he would spend most of his afternoons gazing through the windows of a local candy store. To his sorrow, they would never let him in, because Dahl was a giant with telekinetic powers and also the candy store was really a front for a coven of child-eating witches. Still, these afternoons served as the basis of some of Dahl's later books. Books he eventually penned as a much smaller adult.
[edit] Adult Life
Dahl wrote most of his books during World War III, during which Dahl was locked into a fighter jet and not let out. He remains there to this day,making him a old bastard.But he had an affair and he got pregnant.
Unfortunately, Roald Dahl had difficulty with the delivery (it was a complicated case of breech birth) and died during the final push. All of the doctors in the hospital switched to wearing white gowns to symbolize their grief at the loss of the great writer. To this day, as a tribute to Dahl, some doctors continue the noble practice of delivering babies and wearing white gowns to work. The legacy of Roald Dahl lives on forever.
[edit] Death
After this unfortunate event (which by the way happened on the 23rd of November 1990) , his body was interred at Nazeem's curry-house, Brentwood, Essex, and part of his thigh was removed and used in a new curry called Roald Dahl. It is known as one of the spiciest curries on the market in the U.S. Customers reported favourably on the new dish, and the manager of the restaurant, Mohammed Patel, is currently in talks with human-cloning pioneer Luigi Embryone to make multiple clones of Dahl, which will be specifically raised and cultured, and later butchered, to produce this curry product. Should the cloning prove successful, Patel plans to take over the world with a chain of global curry restaurants called "McDahl's".
[edit] Roald Dahl : The Game
In this best selling game, you could play as Roald Dahl and do his life again! Playstation 3 only.
- Fantastic Mr. Fox said it was shit. Screw him.
- Willy Wonka invented RoaldDahl Bar to commerate this game!!! Fantastic Mr. Fox said it tasted like shit. This time he's right.
[edit] Little known facts
Roald had a brother, Salvador, who became a famous surrealist Spanish artist.
