Robert Morales

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Robert Morales.

Robert Morales (The Big Bang-The Last Supper) was a direct product of the big bang. He spent billions of years floating around the Universe looking for a home. One day he happened to bump into God, who in the planning stages of his 5th grade science fair project called "Earth". Robert Morales or Puto for short, decided to help God out with his project. During the construction of the project, Puto was somewhat confused with God's blueprints for Earth, and he ended up screwing on a few parts of the project. God was pretty pissed at Puto, and in a fit of rage he flooded Earth for 40 days and 40 nights. Poor little Puto felt guilty, so in an effort to repay God, Puto offered to participate in the project as one of the Mexicans.

Robert Morales was reborn on Earth around 10 B.C. as a Mexican. You might think Mexico wasn't even around back then, but Robert "Puto" Morales was actually the first Mexican. As a Mexican, he loved being lazy, eating tacos, eating beans, and of course jumping fences. Puto was too lazy to get a real job, so he became a thief. He was one of the most heartless thieves to ever live, stealing things like candy from babies, free food samples, and prepubescent girls' virginity. One day he heard Jesus was going to be rolling into town for The Last Supper, so Puto decided he wanted to try stealing food from the Son of God himself.

Later on that night, Robert decided it was time to break into The Last Supper. He snuck in through the window, but all of a sudden there shined a shiny figure. "Who are you!?!" yelled Robert.

"It's Jesus, lol," replied Jesus. Jesus asked, "I am the Son of God, did you think you could actually steal from me?"

Robert answered, "Si."

Jesus suddenly whipped out his dual AK-47's, and turned Puto into a holey bean. Jesus then yelled, "Nobody fucks with Jesus, Puto!" and then flew off into the sunset.