Robert Oppenheimer

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Robert Oppenheimer (1641-1977), not to be confused with J. Robert Oppenheimer, was a famous composer and orchestra director before the Second World War, famed for hit singles such as My God, I think I'm becoming one too, House of the Rising Toxic Plume and Bomb Bomb Bomin' on Gotham's Door.

Oppenheimer first gained national attention in 1934 when he joined the fifteen-piece Sleater-Kinney band, who had no freaking idea what to do with him. As a result his contribution to the Sleater-Kinney sound was limited to playing the bass saxophone and occasional unintelligible background mumbling.

His career won him an Oscar for Best Explosion at the 1943 World War Awards, however the same year was tainted by an incident at the World War Music Awards ceremony in Los Alamos, where Oppenheimer (and his orchestra) bombed Batman (and his orchestra) as Batman's song Stairway To Gotham came first, before Oppenheimer's latest release.

After this incident, Batman and Oppenheimer fell even further apart when Oppenheimer killed Batman's Robin, but the two removed their differences during the War and decided to work together on a project financed by Churchill and Roosevelt. This partnership resulted in two theorems on the World War:

  • The Oh My God It's Gonna Explode Theorem on the World War, discussing the possibility of a big, mushroom-like explosion resulting from some Italian guy mistakenly sitting on a Pizza Funghi, patented in 1943.
  • The Oh My God It's Really Gonna Explode Theorem on the World War, discussing the even greater possibility of the mushroom-like explosion, narrowing the location of the said explosion to Japan. A mysterious mushroom thingy, seen in Hiroshima by Oprah herself (or a congenial incarnation), confirmed the Second Batman-Oppenheimer Theorem in 1945. It is suggested that some fat Japanese guy sat on a Pizza Funghi, hence trigerring an atomic chain reaction that resulted in the destruction of the city. This chain reaction is referred to by experts as 'atomic shitty-bang' , 'there she blows' and 'Big Boom...yeah we heard it' .

Robert Oppenheimer was found dead in mysterious circumstances in May, 1977. Analysts suggest that he may have jumped repeatedly on a sharp knife. Some petty conspiracy theorists have suggested that he may have been killed by Batman after their last fall out (pun not intended) in Hiroshima.

See Also[edit]

J. Robert Oppenheimer