Robert Saunders

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
1023061016.jpg

Robert Saunders; Commonly referred to as "The Cookie Monster" or "Sandy" born the Daughter of Will Smith. Well...it all started in about 1902 when Robert Saunders was born in Brooklyn, New York. As a child Robert didn't have many friends, but the few friends he did have referred to him as Robbie. Robbie's parents hated him and constantly took away the things he loved, broke them, then burned them. Robert "Sandy" Saunders joined the Ginyu Force at age 7, where he reach SSF(Super Sayain Fat). Saunders left the Ginyu Force proceeded to join the Black Man's Army at 18. He quickly rose to "Colonel Saunders", Where Fried Chicken was the main food supply. Sandy is a fucking bad ass who just doesn't give a fuck. He goes straight forward hard without feeling any signs or remmorce or sympathy for the common man.

Sandy once killed an entire family and when asked about it all he had to say was "fuck them trifflin bitches!"


Robert Saunders learned the ways of the force through Jedi Moses, who taught him the greatest techniques known to man, this took him many years and over 1000 boxes of oreos, but eventualy he was ready for the ultimate techniques ever to grace the face of man:

     Frosting the Cookies
     Bakeing the Buns
     Frying the Fish 
     Tossing the Salad
     Packing the Fudge

Path of the Darkside[edit]

With a power level of 10110101(181), Robert Saunders Became a Pokemon Master. In which he devised a plot to assasinate, along with Pirate Ninja Jesus, Chuck Norris. It is unknown whether he was successful or not, but what is known is Saunders did Cure Juvenile Diabetes.

After becoming the age of 200, Colonel Saunders invented the Computer, and developed a case of Seriousness.

Currently[edit]

Presently Robert Saunders, works at Kent Island High School fronting as the PC Repair 1, 2, and Neworking teacher, but secretly runs his lithowanian terrorist group (Mircosoft) from the boiler room. He weighs about 456 pounds and does absolutly nothing besides sit at his desk checking his e-mails all day, with friends that he doesn't really have. He claims he has a wife, daugter, and a son. However we no that none of this is true. Seriously, how could he make sweet, sweet love

He is also the proud mayor of wild wild west and Candyland

Quotes[edit]

" From the slums of Shaolin, Wu-Tang Strikes again! Introducing the Rza, the Gza, Ol' Dirty Bastard, Inspectah Deck, Raekwon the Chef, U-God, Ghostface Killah, and the Method!"

"one time at band camp... i built a computer out of human waste"

"seriously guys you gotta get to work, your frosting my cookies"

"if computers were made of jello, i'd probably fuck them"

"firewire is almost as good looking as firefox, and if firefox was infact a fox...i'd fuck it"

"when people burp and fart and i hear it, i get offended, only because my burps and farts killed my 1st and 2nd wives"

"you've got to be serious if you want to succeed in the computer world, except if your me, mr. saunders...a living joke"

"So that night..with the dual core processors..made me jizz myself"

"That hard drive can drive me good"

"01011011010101010111100011111011001111"