Robert Wilson

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Wilson's author photo for his upcoming Memoir entitled: Family Ties: The Wrongs of Anti-Incest Laws


Early Life[edit]

Scientists believe that Wilson was spawned many thousands of years in the past when the Devil raped his first infant. After the child excreted Wilson from its system we know that he made his way to Georgia where he was raised by his loving foster parents Cletus Wilson and Caroline Wilson(who were brother and sister as well as husband and wife). Many believe that this was a sign of things to come.Some years later after graduating 1st grade Robert Wilson decided to get a head start on life and tackle the job market. He moved from his Georgia Palace to Corn Field Ranch, located in Montana. It was there that Robert Wilson experienced his first sexual encounter, a young chicken named Clarabelle speed him off on a romantic excursion that would last for several months. However, after discovering that Clarabelle was as delicious as she was attractive, Wilson grew bored with his country lifestyle and made up his mind that it was time to go tackle what he considered to be the Nation's greatest problem: The anti-incest laws


Robert D. Wilson is seen here at one of his first speeches on the D.C. Waterfront.

Political Beginnings[edit]

Wilson arrived in Washington D.C. just as the sixties ended. He was confident that the America which had so recently embraced free love would welcome his views and headed straight for the Capitol Building upon arrival. On July 23, 1971, Rob Wilson met with Congress and made the first of what would be many speeches for inter-family marriage. Bitter resistance, much more than he had expected, soon overwhelmed the would be rights activist and he found himself facing a colossal uphill battle. A talented speaker, Wilson did manage to get up a strong following which allowed him to remain in the game up until the winter of 73 when a particularly powerful senator named Daniel Bernazanni decided it was time to throw his hat into the ring.

Wilson Vs. Bernazanni[edit]

The spring of '74 saw the political battlefield heating up with intensity. Wilson and his supporters were beginning to gather their strength for the fierce bout with Bernazanni. The Senator himself was preoccupied with Kate Wilson, a young intern who would prove to be the instrument that would bring about his own downfall. Unknown to all Kate Wilson was in reality Robert Wilson's own younger sister. Wilson had never seen his younger sister and was unaware that she even existed. He simply called the common last name a coincidence and treated her as one of the enemy.The first round of the political rivalry ended with a clear victory for Bernazanni, the senate was siding with him on the issue and Congress appeared unwilling to take Wilson's side.
The crisp, cool logic that had won Bernazanni his seat to begin with was winning out over the retarded, passionate speeches from Wilson. The fledgling activist knew he had to do something fast to regain his support. Wilson's spies informed him of the Senator's relationship with the young Kate Wilson and Robert decided to try and forge a scandal. He arranged to meet with the young intern in an unused car garage, under a different alias, to see if he could get any information out of her.The two siblings realized what they were almost immediately after spending a few moments together. Historians believe that Wilson found true love at this meeting(despite ultimately marrying Ginger Goldeman). The two spent the night together and the following morning, April 2, 1974, Kate resigned from Dan Bernazanni's staff, a move, that most historians agree on, crippled the Senator. From that point on Wilson's victory was assured. The Senate caved without Bernazanni's influence, and Congress followed soon after. From every angle it seemed that inter-family marriage was going to be written into law, it was then that the man who would be Wilson's downfall emerged.

McMahon squashes Inter-Family Marriage[edit]

During the summer of '75 Rob and Kate Wilson were planning to marry. The Inter-Family Marriage bill was only weeks away from being passed and the two were enjoying a quiet and peaceful time. It was at this point that Colin McMahon, world renown hero and playboy, returned from defeating Hannah Hazlett's army of Samurai Pizza Cats. Hailed for being a brilliant orator, McMahon was disgusted at the idea of inter-family relations. He knew from experience that World War I had been cause over that same issue and resolved to put an end to it within the States.
Wilson and his supporters tried valiantly to withstand the onslaught, but once again McMahon proved that he could not be defeated. The Bill was not passed and Robert and Kate were forced to part ways. Most historians agree that this blow so damaged the ego of Wilson that he could no longer face life in D.C.. He decided to move up North and away from politics.

Massachusetts Retirement[edit]

Not much is known about Wilson between 1976 and 2002. We know he spent three of those years in prison for child rape and at least two more in rehab for the same offense. Wilson had never been one to believe in restricted love, and now it seemed that his passion had caught up with him. Finally in 2002 he announced his engagement to Ginger Goldeman, a jewish woman who had supported him back in the seventies. The two were married and moved into Western Massachusetts. There Wilson took up a new profession as masquerading as a high school student on myspace, trying to lure younger girls(or boys) to him. He was sent to jail again in 2005 for having an affair with Betsy the Cat.

Present Day[edit]

Robert Wilson was released from prison on May 16, 2006. He still lives with Ginger out in Western MA.They have two kids:Kate and Dan. He is currently writing his memoirs, which will be released next spring.
Recently it has been found that Wilson bribed the referees in the 1/21/07 Colts victory over the Patriots after Bill Bellichick blasted Wilson's book, saying "That guy is a fucking weirdo." Wilson payed the referees one dollar each before the game and promised to blow them after.