Rock Lee
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“I will never take off this sweaty green leotard or wash my hair! For that is my way of the ninja!”
~ Rock Lee on Rock Lee
“I saw with my Byujinidadawhathefuckgan what was under his jumpsuit, and I now understand why he never takes it off. The image will haunt me forever.”
~ Hyuga Neji on Rock Lee
“Playerhater stole my dress sense. Mess you up, Mother F.”
~ Might Guy on Rock Lee
Rock Lee is a character in Naruto. He is shit because he can't use any ninja techniques. I don't care what anyone else says, it's true. Get over it.
Rock Lee was clearly drawn by Stevie Wonder with all the creativity and imagination of an Alabastor Retard who lives under Paul McCartney's floorboards. No artistic skill is required WHATSOEVER to draw some guy with big hair and eyebrows. Those Naruto guys really know how to make a shit character even shittier don't they?
Let's move on...
Contents |
[edit] Battles
Rock Lee has challenged many people to battles. Here are a few of them:
[edit] Rock Lee Vs. Kakashi
Rock Lee managed to use "Ultimate Summoning Technique No Jutsu" which is a bit like lucky dip. In this case he summoned up Mr.T. However, Mr.T and Kakashi teamed up after they noticed that Rock Lee's face was drawn by Stevie Wonder. Kakashi then used "Bitch Slap No Jutsu" and Rock Lee got Bitch slapped. Then, due to his foolishness and his "Jibba Jabba" Mr.T performed the complex "Pity The Fool No Jutsu" and pitied him. HARD. After three and a half hours of sheer pity, the battle was over when Mr.T realised he had left Alaska on fire from his last visit. Rock Lee spent three weeks in therapy from pity. Try healing THAT Tsunade!
[edit] Rock Lee Vs. Bono
Rock Lee cussed Bono's mum, and then Bono used "Book Release No Jutsu". "Bono: It turns out my virginity was hiding in the closet where I left it" was an instant bestseller featuring himself and the other members of U2. But Rock Lee was unfazed. Rock Lee kicked Bono in the face, knocking off his glasses, which was essentially Bono's lifeblood. Lee looked poised to win, when Bono suddenly used "Sunday Bloody Sunday No Jutsu". Game Over.
[edit] Rock Lee Vs. Wales
This is one of Lee's victories. After declaring war on Wales, the entire population of Wales decided they would hold a meeting. All two and a half of them decided it would be best to send out their primary resources. However, they realised they only had one - sheep. Suicide sheep were let out of Wales, but then Wales realised they had no idea where in the name of fuck the sheep were going. They surrendered to Lee.
[edit] Rehab
“Tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no”
~ Rock Lee on Rehab
After EVENTUALLY killing his brother after series 67, Sasuke realised his life no longer held any meaning, and so became an ice cream man. After stopping outside a school one hot summer, one of the kids laughed at his hat. Sasuke retailated by firing a ball of lightning through the kid's chest. The boy's mother then reprimanded him, and Sasuke was given a caution by superior.
This meant WAR.
After two days, he spiked all the ice cream supply with a mere two tablespoons of LSD and stopped outside the same school, dishing out ice cream completely free, his seductive music pumping out of the top of the van. Rock Lee passed by that very moment. Can you see where this is going?
That's right, Guy, a former addict bought some lesbian ham from Paul Chuckle and dished it out between himself and Rock Lee.
[edit] Experiences in Rehab
“Shizzle your nizzle, sir?”
~ Barry White on Nizzles
Rock Lee and Paul Chuckle were ordered to rehab. He shared a room with Barry White who was hung up on nizzles and shizzling them. Samuel L. Jackson owned rehab, which was bad because he would frequently let snakes into people's rooms if ever they tried to smuggle something in.
Within two hours Rock Lee hadn't had any lesbian ham for a while, and was going insane. He used "Ultimate summoning technique no jutsu" in the hope that some lesbian ham would be summoned. Unfortunately all he got was Cypress Hill, who used "Let's get stoned no jutsu!".
