Rod Blagojevich

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Come on man, let's sit down and chat.

Psst. You. Yeah, you. Come on, don't stare at me like that. Listen, I got a little offer for you. Something really useful for you. What? No, don't look at me like that.

What are you getting at?[edit]

Throw a little bit of this my way, will you?

Come on now, "getting at" is such a harsh term. I've got this fucking valuable thing, and I can't just give it away for nothing. A good old colored friend of mine is giving up a position in power. I'm supposed to "appoint" his replacement. That's where you come in.

You want me to bribe you?[edit]

What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I would never consider bribing. Let's just say it's empty, and I've got to fill it in. Let's also say, with a little push, you might have an "influence" on my decision.

Is this legal?[edit]

Legal? Kid, you've got a lot to learn. In my line a work, well, it isn't "legal", but we haven't gotten caught, so it isn't really ILLEGAL, hmm? Just stop sweating like a pig, there. Don't worry, we're all buddies here.

I'm calling the police.[edit]

WHOA! Easy there, tiger. There's no need to get hasty. Besides, no one has to know. It doesn't matter if you're not interested. I've got a few Benjamin Franklins that say you'll keep your mouth shut. Hey, what are you getting out that phone for? You're not gonna do it, are you? *Sigh* I always hate when it comes to this. Too bad, kid. You and me coulda ruled Chicago.

*blam*