Rodney Rude is a piss-funny comedian and former Prime Minister of the peoples republic of Australia. Rodney was born in some fuck-hole of a town in Australia with some fucked up name his parents gave him. Later he adopted the first name "Rodney", because he liked it, and the surname "Rude" because he was as rude as your mother looks with nothing on!
The Kangaroo Fucker From Down Under
Rodney started off as a stand-up comedian after inheriting his grandfathers joke book. A book that is said to be so piss-funny, other comedians would suck a cock, just to see what's in it. He began slaughtering audiences in the mid 70's, then fucked off to Canada for a bit to become a comedian, where he was known as the Kangaroo Fucker where he amused Canadian audiences by fucking live-stock on stage as part of his act.
Rodney Hate's That
Rodney would rise to fame in Australia with his 1984 debut album, "I Hate That". The album became the first ever comedy album to enter the Australian top-10 billboard that was not achieved by just giving it away for free whenever some cunt spent more then twenty bucks at Kafka's Fuck Cat's. The album reached #1, and Rodney became an Australian legend over night. He did various television appearances until the fucking censors got a whiff of his act and dubbed it "Too Rude for TV", which only made Rodney even more famous from all the yuppie cock-knuckles in the media bitching about him.
I'll Fuck What I Want On Stage Ya Puckin' Cop Suckers
In 1985 Rodney was pulled off on stage by a poofter-cop who didn't like his profanity. The Dickless Tracy arrested him for bestiality live on stage. Rodney was bailed out of jail and made a public protest that anyone should be allowed to be piss-funny in whatever way they want to express themselves with, whether it be taking toy pig out on stage and rooting it, or using a live chicken to stick his dick in it's clacka to brag about how good it's wings flapping around makes good air-conditioning while ya doing it. Rodney won the case after he told the beak to "go fuck yaself, it's a free country, and I'm fuckin' funny, and your not" to which the judge could not deny, and awarded Rodney, and comedians everywhere, the right to fuck whatever they wanted on stage.
By this time Rodney had already released a few piss-funny albums, but his next album was labeled "Rodney Rude: A fuckin' Legend" that included his #1 hit song "I May Not Be A Wog, But I Look Like One" which featured lyrics directed towards the Queensland Police department for being nothing but corrupt arseholes that can't take a joke. It was followed by a video clip that was played on Rage (something like MTV) over and over again and not only introduced Rodney's pissed-off cop character named Half-Rude, but also shot Rodney's fame to such heights, he was voted in as Australia's next Prime Minister!
Rodney Rude: The Best Fuckin' PM Ever
Rodney was now voted in as the new PM with Kevin Bloody Wilson as his vice-PM and Elle McPherson as his official topless spokesmen and Oz barmaid of the year. To celebrate, he made marijuana legal & replaced all of Australia's water supply with beer, so that every Australians drinking supply could now be on home-tap. Rodney was now a true fuckin' legend to the young & old, and to thank Rodney for it, the citizens of Oz made a huge statue of his coy on top of Parliament House.
Rod's next move was to make it compulsory for all fine lookin' sheilas to swallow when they suck ya off! Rodney opened up schools all across the land so that ladies could learn how to spit it in the air, catch it in their mouth, gargle, jiggle the titties around, swallow, go get their man a beer, then fuck off! Now officially Australia's #1 T.A.F.E.
Rodney's reign as PM lasted a record breaking 9 years before Australia decided they better vote in someone who can side with the U.S.A, just in case that American inbred fuck George W. Bush started World War III... it's best to suck up to the yanks because the Oz military would be fucked without them. Since this event, Bush is out, the world is safe for democracy, and Australia is now trying to get Rodney back as PM... 'cause the countries gone to shit since he & kev' got voted out and the new head dickhead reinstated regular water into the drinking pipes again.
Back To The Comedy Circuit
Rodney returned to new heights by hitting the road again and touring Australia with his act, releasing several more piss-funny albums. Rodney's act had matured with his new side-persona's of Half Rude, Harry Muff (the diver) and Pope John Paul Rude who was preaching the good things about sex, drugs & wreckin' women's holes. Rodney continued on until 2008, before he decided, "fuck it, time to retire". The news came as a shock to all Australians; they think it must be a joke and are waiting for Rodney to re-emerge and save their fucked up country's arse's from the comedic likings of no-talent poofters like Dave Huges and Rove McManus.
Rods Famous Antics
- He once fucked an underage fat lady in a circus and was charged with carnival knowledge.
- Opened up a successful sperm bank that he would mix famous celebrities sperms up to make some fucked up offspring.
- Was accused of going to airports and stealing other peoples luggage.
- Got into the shit in the press when he asked Rolf Harris why he wont just fuck off and die upon meeting him with the Queen of England.
- Beat the pigs at their own game and made it legal for comedians to fuck what they want on stage.
- Opened up a chain of restaurants that sold elephants balls on toast with enough bread supply to serve them on.
- Made it a tradition to suck Jack's balls at party's instead of nibbling on nobbys nuts.
- Legalized Marijuana in Australia.
- Disgusted an entire nation by jerking off to a picture of Dawn Frasior live on A Current Affair.
- Got rid of the turd in a socks in Australia, better known as the McRib.
- Made Audiences piss themselves laughing.
- With his grandfather, Rodney fucked <insert name here>'s mum.
- Was charged 8 times with dipping dried dogs turds in gold paint and selling them to Jap tourists as nuggets.