Ross Perot
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“Can I finish? Can I finish?”
~ Ross Perot on Ross Perot
“Even I think that guy is nuts.”
~ Charles Manson on Ross Perot
Henrhiettah Rossparrot Perot, also known as Ross Peerow or The Littlest Robo, is a tiny robot originally from Mars. He was sent to Earth to conquer the planet, but failed due to his small stature and comical voice. He later became a stand-up comedian, touring the world with other greats such as Tom Arnold, Carrot Top and Gallagher.
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[edit] Early life
Perot was created by the infamous super-villain Marvin the Martian in the year 1930 deep inside Olympus Mons on Mars. Due to a lack of resources Marvin was forced to work with MacGyver-like genius with only the following materials:
These explain a great deal about the smell, voice, and general appearance of Ross Perot.
After being fitted with a technological brain that was far ahead of its time (a Commodore 64) and being programmed with awesome nunchuck skills, Perot left for Earth in 1946, where the populace had just emerged from World War II.
[edit] Corporate success
Ross Perot's attempts to take control of planet Earth were quickly and spectacularly quashed, when nobody would take him seriously . After a brief period as Joseph McCarthy's can opener, Perot branched out to take on the corporate world. In 1962 he founded Exceedingly Decadent Services Ltd, a company dedicated to pleasuring lonely housewives through technology (*ahem!*). Huge success quickly followed.
[edit] Political career
Buoyed by his new found success, Ross Perot spent the next three decades crafting his cunning plan to take control of the planet, starting with his adopted country, the United States of America. During this time he fulfilled several important political roles:
- Hotel reservation assistant for Richard Nixon
- Chief turd farmer for the Ford administration
- Ambassador to Canadia 1985-1990
In 1992 Perot announced to a totally uninterested nation that he would be running for President as a Republicrat. Alas, his grating voice and comical stature again proved his undoing, as he and his running mate (this guy) failed to gain admission to the Electoral College.
Other attempts to gain political power followed:
- 1996 - ran again for President, with a parsnip as his running mate. Lost again.
- 2000 - decided not to run.
- 2004 - ran yet again, losing to Saddam Hussein by a three to one margin.
Following this string of humiliating failures Ross Perot resigned himself to a life outside politics, and finally accepted his true calling, as a D-list comedian.
[edit] Political ideologies
- Promoter of reducing national debt
- Staunch supporter of robosexuality.
- Supports a gas tax, which would see an end to flatulence.
