It is a little known fact that Rubber Ducks once ruled the entire universe, they all bowed down to their God (Mr Squeakums), at least as far as the little yellow bastards can bow down, who told them to go out and terrorise humanity. this was ended when humanity realised that they were, in fact, rubber ducks and embarked upon a huge genocidal campaign to eradicate them. However, humanity, feeling mercifull allowed some of the survivors of the great intergalactic space war to survive in inanimate positions of mirth and other entertainment for small kiddies on earth, ready to take over the universe when humanity finally falls to extinction
The Great Rubber Duckabition
The Great Rubber Journey
Fifteen years ago 29,000 rubber ducks got loose of there cargo ship. Reports from the time show that the ducks suddenly came alive jumped overboard into the water.
The leader of the ducks, Sir Duckalot, is still out at sea trying to find the Duckanic, that carried ducks and not people. In 2001 the ducks went over the place where the Duckanic sank. Unfortunately Sir Duckalot was lost in the Antarctic and failed to make it.
The great and powerful Sir Duckalot was given his mission 15 years ago by the president of rubber ducks Ducklincon, under orders of the rubber duck president Sir Duckalot had to find the Duckanic. The father of two rubber ducklings who loves duckpin set off to complete his mission. Top Rubber Duck trackers are still trying to locate Sir Duckalot who was last seen leaving the UK with a map of the world and is now on his way to where the Duckanic sank. Unknown by him Ducklincon has recently passed away and now a new president is to be proposed.
The 1913 experiment
In 1913, an experiment was proposed to combine a rubber duck with a tank. This fantastic creation would help Britain to defeat the Germans in World War I.
Professor Herbert von Binklestein (1657-2005) was captured by British forces and forced to make this magnificent machine. He made two of them and excelled himself by adding a supremely powerful component, a brain! Yes that's right a think tank/duck. However,von Binklestien also did something to sabotage the tank. He added an onion souffle! This caused the tank to gain huge emotional attachment to buildings, for no particular reason. (including his latest love, the volcano observation platform. His enemies are The Bodyguards of Lindsey Lohan, Attila the Lohan and Hannah Montana,.
The tanks, which were named Mardi and Lonton, saw their first action with at the First Battle of Ypres in 1914 (2 years prior to any normal tank). However, disaster struck when Lonton got bogged down in the mud and drowned. However, Mardi was a success. He captured 20 German trenches and flattened several soldiers. Mardi fought and served with distinction being awarded the only RDTHVC(Rubber Duck/Tank Hybrid)Victoria Cross.
He then fought in World War II with the LRDG (Long Range Desert Group) and later the 1st Special Air Service. Terrorizing Rommel. He retired after the war to his country home (Location still Top-Secret) where he enjoys making his famous spaggetti carbonera to this day.
Since the recent death of Ducklincon a new president is to be chosen. There are supposed to be five candidates but due to Duckalot being away at sea, rubber Ducklantis needs a new president so four have been chosen instead.
Duck Fader "Join the dark side of the pond"
Pond Trouper "protecting the pond from the fishes"
Princess Layer"lay the duck side of pond"
Luke Pondwater"MAY THE DUCKS BE WITH YOU"
Each candidate has their own views on how to make Ducklantis a better place. (Well 3 of the 4, as Duck Fader wants to take over the world and make it duck world and all the humans become rubber.) The votes are said to be counted soon but the Ducktition is lost out at sea and is said will not make it back to Ducklantis.
So they went and brought a calculator and now are adding up. the favors are on Luke Pondwater
Due to having to go away to find the Duckanic Sir Duckalot had to sacrifice his favorite sport Duckpin this game is like bowling but with rubber duck and not pins. The Bowling balls are made out of rubber. When playing Duckpin you play on the pond so it floats.
Ducklantis the home of Rubber ducks. This unknown city is the biggest and is the capital of the Rubber Duck City's. Recently the president Passed away so Ducklantis and the rubber duck unknown world needs a new President. This Capital city has a total Population of 30,000 Rubber Ducks. This city built before humans were created dates back to the dinosaur age. The votes are taking place and all odds are on Luke Pondwater Ducklantis has a huge history. It started above the water until a parent took the plug out!!!!
(EVENMOREUPDATE) The Final Journey (EVENMOREUPDATE)
When this article was created Sir Duckalot had just left The UK but recently I got informed from my rubber duck trackers that Sir Duckalot has been on course but then got swept away by vile winds and is lost. Sir Duckalot is still lost and we are waiting for more reports on the tracking of a great infusiastic duck. Some sources believe that Sir Duckalot was thrown at Brian Molko during a concert and now takes pride of place on his bathtub.
Everyone knows that before rubber ducks were a childs plaything they were used as duck sex dolls.
--Cheesychips 19:58, 22 March 2008 (UTC)