Rubioium

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Ductapium <- Rubioium -> Fishium
Eastillinosium
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R!
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Nothing
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General
Name Rubioium
Symbol R!
Number 3 and a bit
Kinkiness moderate to high
Physical Properties
Melting point 25 °C, or maybe 25 °F
Boiling point A million °C, or maybe A million °F
Taste Scrumptious
Charm Point Lots
Hit Point 5HD
Specific Gravity Higly attractive
Appearance 6'2", 85lbs, with chestnut waves of hair and a chin you could cut rocks on.

Rubioium is the dopest element in the idiotic table.

If you get some Rubioium and rub it all over yourself, you both start glowing. Then Barry White music starts playing, and the lights go dim.

Rubioium is a Leo.

Important update: Rubioium no longer smells like cigarettes.