S.P.A.M.
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S.P.A.M., or Speranah Protection Awareness Month, was created in June of 2005 after many PETA members decided that there weren't enough of the little buggers in the world. Because speranah only mate once every 347 years, they are currently in short supply. Their population is hindered even more because of the fact that speranah only live for 346 years. PETA saw this as a calling to help this endangered species, and in the one year since forming, the speranah population has multiplied by the thousands.
How Can They Be So Stupid? Simple. PETA only recruits people with no brains. Why else would they put animal's lives ahead of humans'?
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[edit] Why Is It Important?
Because of this, the North American government deployed a group of people to create rumors about the dangers of speranah in hopes of discrediting PETA. In doing this, rumors began to circulate through the general population. Before long speranah were believed to be the leading cause of cancer in the world, as well as the fate of Atlantis and the ones who mass voted George Dubya Bush into presidancy.
[edit] What Did Them In?
The final blow came from a prophecy made by an unknown person at an unknown time. The prophecy stated that a clan of speranah would destroy the small town of Trenton, Illinois in the year of 2009. No one really cared about the town itself, but because of the rising fear of speranah in the general public, everyone pretended to care and went on strike against the horrid protection month. After much diliberating, George Dubya Bush called off S.P.A.M. in a nationwide speech to all of America. Later, when rumors spread that Georgie might actually be the source of the future attack on Trenton, people forgot all about the death-destined town and began raving about Georgie's newest exploit.
[edit] The Aftermath
Due to the government's interferance, the general public has developed a great fear of speranah. All sewer systems have been cut off, and all bathroom facilities have been closed to the public. Rumors spread like wildfire. Below is a short list of disbeliefs centered around speranah:
- Speranah only attack gay men.
- Speranah can be stopped by constantly wearing a condom.
- Speranah can be spread through saliva.
- Speranah feed on unwed female teenagers.
- Speranah dwell in caves.
- Speranah cause superaids.
- Speranah exist.
[edit] See Also
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