SOS

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about SOS.

SOS: An Overview[edit]

“I would like some sauce SOS on my steak, please.”

~ Retard on drugs

“Save our ship”

“SOS means some one else”

~ Rihanna on singing SOS

“Save our selfs!!!”


SOS consists of 2 basic natural elements. 'S' and 'O' ( 'S' is repeated like a Seinfeld episode, and because it's two of a kind ). Therefore, through the distrustful powers of the Periodic Table, scientists can confirm that SOS is a natural element made of Sulfur and Oxygen. A common misconception is that SOS is made of hydrogen and awesome. Over time, SOS became slang, much like its brethren ROFL, OMGWTFROTFLMAOZEDONG and the President. SOS as slang spread so quickly, it was soon adopted as an international standard, translated into many different languages, including Morse Code, Braille, gibberish, BASIC and Taco. Despite this, no one actually knows what it means. Actually, we do. It means "Save Our Shitty souls from destruction. Meaning SOSSFD.

SOS is also used as an alternate spelling for "sauce" by your average american redneck, which composes of about 97.95% of america's native population. It is also a popular thing to use SOS when you have majorly fucked up, in this case it means "Shit, Oh Shit..." It is also acceptable to say when you realize the hot girl next door you fucked last night was actually your long lost sister or when you've ran out of weed to bribe the cops with.

SOS in Times of War[edit]

During World War I, there were many instances where the Good Guys, consisting of The United States Of Gotland, Great Britain, France and a ragtag group of gum-chewing mofos, had their supply lines cut by the Scissors of Evil. To make the best of their limited resources, they conserved as much of their alphabet as possible, using only "S" and "O", which were uncommonly common. One such communication between General Mills and the Prime Minister of Canada regarding the Battle of Bratwurst proceeded as follows:

Mills: SOSOSSOSSSOS.  OSSOS?
PMoC: OSSOS?!? SSSOSSOSSSOS!
Mills: ...SSOS SOS OSOOOSOO OOO!

The Bad Guys, in a misguided attempt to confuse the Good Guys, replaced "S" with "..." and "O" with "---". This would prove to be a fatal mistake; the Bad Guys soon found themselves unable to end their sentences or perform basic subtraction. Run-on sentences and ridiculously large numbers led to thousands of casualties for the Bad Guys, giving the Good Guys a window of opportunity which they swiftly cleaned with the Windex of surprise and installed on the house of progress.

WHAT SOS STANDS FOR

SOS:SAVE OUR SAND

SOS:SAVE OUR SHIT

SOS:SAVE OUR SHEEP

SOS:SHIT ON SHIT

SOS:SORRY, OVER SLEPT

SOS:SMELLY Ol' STUFF

SOS:SAME OLD SHIT

SOS:SAVE OUR SOULS

SOS:SERIOUSLY, OBAMA SUCKS

SOS:SUCK ON SHLONG

SOS:SAVE OUR SACKS ...---...

References[edit]

  • The Twentieth Century by terry deary

See Also[edit]