Sack Religion/The 10 Suggestions of the Sack Religion

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The Ten (or so) Suggestions[edit]

  • Follow the "Golden Rule"
    • Only follow this rule if you want others to treat you well; if you want to be treated poorly, do the opposite of the golden rule
  • Wash your hands after you go to the bathroom
    • Wash after doing (or attempting to do) #1 or #2 as no one wants to shake your hand and come away with a handful of your crotch germs
  • If the eyes are windows to the soul, eyebrows are the roof over the windows to the soul
    • Women should pluck only to the point that they're bat wings, no more, no less
    • Men should get that bit in the middle. Monobrow is so Cro-magnon
  • Man and woman are equal in the infinite eyes of the paper bag
    • Man is strong, but he's hairy and smells bad
    • Women are smart, soft and they smell nice. Sigh...
  • Intelligence is more important that strength, knowledge is more valuable than faith.
    • If you believe it, prove it
      • Faith simply means that you don't want to know the answer
      • if you think god did it, prove that god did it. If you think that it's all just a combination of electrical and chemical interactions in your brain, prove it.
        • guess which one gets proved...
      • if you can't prove it, shut the fuck up. Close your mouth, open your eyes and pick up a book
      • Ignorance is Strength only if you are Big Brother. You are not Big Brother
  • "You shall not shop at the stores of the big box."
    • "For truly, Walmart and its cousins employ slaves, and verily do screw them unjustly. If thou shop at Walmart one day, the next thou shalt worketh there and be enslaven."

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