Sacosyphillis

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Little is known about the great Sacosyphillis. It is common knowledge, however, that the Sacosyphillis was just about the greatest dinosaur that ever lived.


Origins[edit]

Unknown. It's funny that a dinosaur with so many teeth, so many legs, and so much testosterone could possibly be missing from the books, until now. Recently, scientists discovered a cave painting in Canada Land that depicted what looked to be a cavewomen getting anally raped by a pickup truck standing atop a wooly mammoth with seven legs. Although it was later found to be some kind of prehistoric and disturbing version of hockey, it went down into the books as the mating of the Sacosyphillis. The scientist who made this bogus discovery has since been assasinated, but that didn't seem to do anything. The chief source on the subject is Baby's First Pop-Up Book of Unfriendly and Illiterate Creatures, which is by the same company who published George W Bush's biography. The scientists in this book seem to suggest that the Sacosyphillis was created accidently by the Sexually Tyrannous Dinosaur (STD) when he molested what turned out to be a toothpick covered in sand. The toothpick became pregnant in wedlock and the Sacosyphillis was born.


Feeding Habits[edit]

"Feeding Habits" is hardly the word. It should be "Let's get born and screw the first thing we see" habits. (Ironically, this turned out to be his mother. To make a short story even shorter, he raped her and she broke in half). This in turn escalated to molesting 17 pebbles, assaulting a tree root, and sexually harassing a caveman, who was very offended ,and he proceded to crawl into his hole and die.


Time Period[edit]

It is estimated that the Sacosyphillis lived sometime between the Paleolithic and the Mesozoic eras for about 20 minutes. In fact, his life was so short that if you had a timeline that spanned from the time his father lost his virginity to the day Fred Flintstone was born and if the timeline was as long as the distance between George Clooney's big toe and the Jedi Temple on Yavin 4, then the part where the Sacosyphillis lived wouldn't be visible to the naked eye. Just for comparision.

Extinction[edit]

Seeing as the Sacosyphillis was only made once, and due to the fact that it lived for less than half an hour, it didn't take long for it to become extinct. Before doing so, it took many a-dino with it (By many a-dino I mean every a-dino) and thats how they became extinct.


Legacy[edit]

Basically, it spread around the first STD, one that we still have today. Which means that someone willingly had sex with a dinosaur, and thats just wrong. Which means that your Great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother's uncle's second wife could have been a tricerotops. That would be pretty cool. Talk about bragging rights. Aside from that medical wonder, about 250,000,000 years after the reign of the Saco (that's what the cool scientists call him), Ralph Waldo Thoroeu Dickinson Frost wrote a poem about that ferocious, man-raping beast.

"He is the Sacosyphillis

There was only one, not four

He rapes, and rapes, and rapes, and rapes

And when he's done he rapes some more."


It sold 40 million copies