This article is too close to the TRUTH!
Citizens should begin to feel uneasy or bemused now. Fnord.
The Sacred Chao is one of the avatars of Eris Discordia, whose symbol consists of a golden apple with the word "Kallisti" written on it in Greek characters, a snake and a pentagon. The Tao, the U.S. Pentagon and the ears of Mickey F. Mouse are blatant ripoffs thereof.
The Golden Apple
This is the Golden Delicious variety made by Eris and is an important component of several soft drinks. Highly demanded, entire countries have had to fight over them, since Troy to the Third Gulf War.
This word means "I pity the foo that dares fight over this apple" hashed through a clever mechanism of encryption made by Eris herself. The Greeks mistranslated this as "To the Sexiest"; the goddesses Afro Dyke, Atheist Nancy and Helga Raunchy had a cat fight over the apple, though later Roman and English translators censored it as "To the fairest" or "to the most beautiful". They then ordered George W. Bush to invade Paris and make there a beauty contest. The winner was Afro Dyke after a session with all the jury. War ensued.
The Fundamentalist Christian Cult (FCC) known as the Ek-sen-trik Discordians claim that the Golden Apple is, in fact, a pineapple. The pineapple, which was invented in England in 1660, was used by the British in their suppression of Atheistic Religions, such as The Church of the Subgenius.
The snake is stalking either the pentagon or the golden apple. (Note that according to the version of the Bible approved by Pope Higgins, the Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia, the name of the stalking snake that first appeared in the Garden of Eden is, in fact, "Monty Python.")
This represents the Principle of Five: "everything is a multiple of five or divisible by five"
The Holy Chao
A variation on the Sacred Chao, this is found on the belly of St. The Mary, Patron Saint, Illuminated, of Bearers of Erisian Tattoos and Matron of the Order of Holy Chao Belly Rubbers. It is properly known as "The Sacred Chao, with Killifish." Saint The Mary is properly known as a "Divinely Revered Object of Obscene Lust," or D.R.O.O.L.