Sacred chickens

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Because of their so-called intelligence, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will never have a proper article about Sacred chickens. We are sorry for their blatant retardedness.

“Keep a Chicken Alive”

The sacred chickens of the Incas floated on the river upon funnel cakes at the ancient city of Chichen Itza (meaning, "Itchy--though sacred--Chicken.")

The cause of the Incan sacred chicken's extinction (say that three times fast!)[edit]

  • Theory 1: Due to random variations in their genetic makeup, the last generation of sacred chickens had feathers that grew in backwards. That may sound awful to you, but they were tickled to death!
A Sacred Chicken
  • Theory 2: They became valued as objets d'art, as seen in the photo.
  • Theory 3: An economic crisis arose, and the most impoverished Incas stole the funnel cakes out from under the sacred chickens. (Funnel cakes, as you no doubt remember, were also a form of currency in the Incan world.) Since chickens, even sacred ones, are ill-equipped for swimming (and scuba equipment for chickens had not yet been invented), they utterly failed to survive.


  But we zacred cheeckens know all about you,
  Eenfeedel! Bow zee drumsteeck! (We're zacred, 
  you know!) BAWK-BAWK! BUH-GAWK!

                                 ZEE ZACRED CHEECKENS!

See funnel cakes