Salazore
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[edit] Republic of Salazore (Salazore)
National Anthem: Glori Salizori
Official Language: Salazorian
Capital: Sindi
Leader Title: Grand Commander of the Salazorian Nation
Current Leader: Eduarino Del Mar (Voltooro Party)
Currency: Guido (ğ1.00)
The Republic of Salazore is a small and densely populated island nation formerly located in southern Europe. It consisted of a constructed island in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea directly south of Greece and north of Libya. This hastily constructed island was set to sea in 1833 by the collected countries of Europe. Salazore is the smallest EU country in terms of both population and area. Salazore has many bad neighborhoods, adult shops, fenced-off beaches, and dubious activities in a densely packed area. It lost its mooring to the ocean bottom in 1995 and has since been adrift on the sea, having crossed through the Straight of Gibralter in late 1996. Their patron saint is St. Bernard, their national bird is the Turkey Vulture, their national plant is Poison Ivy and their national tree is the Skunk Flower. Their national poet is Ritzibottom Salazar, and their motto is "We Didn't Invent Rape, But We Certainly Improved Upon It".
[edit] History
Salazore has been inhabited since 1833, when it was constructed by the united countries of Europe. In 1822 France, Germany, Italy, and Greece held court hearings over the alleged misconduct of several loosely related families of gypsies; the main families being the Salazores, the Salazars, the Montobonos, and the Ramirezes. The court hearings were held over multiple cases of sexual and mental deviations which had been perpetuated by these families for ages on the people of Europe. The solution which was arrived at was to give these families their own land which they could abuse at their own discretion.
From June 1825 through to September 1833 the refuse of the united countries was collected and assembled into an island approximately 18 miles across. On September 9 1833 the island of Salazore was released into the Mediterranean Sea. On April 21 1835 the island washed up on the coast of Libya, and was sent back out to sea. On June 2 1837 anchors were sent to the bottom of the sea and moorings were set up to keep the island in place.
The island remained stationary until August of 1995 when Salazorian scientific experiments with carbonation ruptured the moorings and the island began to drift again. In November 1996 the island was spotted crossing through the Straights of Gibralter.
In March 1999 the island was spotted near the coast of Trinidad.
In April 2000 the island was spotted near the Galapogos Islands.
In September 2001 the island was spotted near Newfoundland.
In August 2003 the island was spotted near Singapore.
In November 2005 the island was spotted off the coast of Florida.
[edit] Politics
Soon after the island of Salazore was released into the Mediterranean Sea a struggle for power erupted, and Ernesto “Ernie” Salazore took control, named the island after himself and started the Voltooro party which is still the only political party in Salazore to this day.
Ernesto Salazore ruled the island until August 19 1885 when he was stabbed in the foot with a letter opener by his Secretary of Defence, Poco Montobono, contracted gangrene and died.
Poco Montobono ruled until March 25 1910 until he was kidnapped and murdered by Salazorian oil gangster, Anchovi Gloop, he was replaced by his nephew Fudgio Montobono.
Fudgio Montobono ruled until 1943 when he was murdered by Roberto DeVeva during the opening of the first Woolworth's Department Store on the island of Salazore.
Roberto DeVeva ruled until September 9 1971 when he was murdered at the birthday party of his nephew Enrico Salazar, by his nephew Enrico Salazar, who immediately named himself Generalissimo.
Enrico Salazar ruled until October 16 1988 when he was attacked by the thugs of his Secretary Of Defence Edwarino Del Mar. Enrico was stabbed fourteen times, shot three times twice of which was in the head, strangled, closed up in a barrel and tossed into the sea.
Eduarino Del Mar was still in command of Salazore when the island lost its moorings; it is believed he is still in power.
[edit] Floating Day
The most important annual holiday in Salazore is Floating Day, which commemorates the independence of Salazore from the mainland. The holiday is celebrated three times a year, first on September 9, to remember the first release of the island; next on April 21, to remember the re-release of the island; and finally on August 19, to remember the re-re-release of the island. A related holiday is Anchor Day, on June 9, which commemorates the day the island was anchored to the floor of the sea.
It is currently unknown if the people of Salazore have created a new holiday for their newest release, and voyage around the globe.
[edit] Economy
The main state banks are the Banco Central del Salazore, which handles all monetary functions, and the Banco Nacional Nuevos Locos, which grants credits to National Salazorian industries, such as the polyester mines and synthetic tofu farms, to name but a few.
More than half of Salazore’s workforce is engaged in the polyester, and synthetic tofu industry. Pigs are a main source of renewable energy (pig waste is collected and formed into small briquettes to be burned in “swineas”— small wrought iron stoves ornately designed to resemble a pot bellied pig)
Leading exports are polyester, artificial tofu (or “Synth-Fu”), anti-histamines, moustache wax, miniature plantains and the Macarena. Leading imports include hosiery, letter openers, bootlegged Scorsese films and anchovies.
Main trading partners are Sardinia, Djibouti and Toledo, Ohio.
Faced with a multitude of economic difficulties (ie. constant threat of civil war, workforce ennui accounting for a 78% unemployment rate) the government has fallen in arrears on long-term external debt and has been struggling to meet the stipulations of foreign aid donors. Debt repayment has been made increasingly difficult as the island itself has been adrift for the past ten years. Also, most first world countries believe Salazore to be fictional.
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