Sam Neill

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Sam Neil. His iconic film status and legendary powers make him one of New Zealand's greatest, along with that guy who was first to climb that unusually tall hill in the Himalayas, the fat dude with the beard of wrote that trilogy that takes longer to watch than all the Queen's Christmas Speeches combined and those very angry sheep. Although some my say he's not all he's cracked up to be the fact still remains that he has most definitely left his mark on the film industry and has received cult status in some parts of the world.

[edit] Life as a mere Mortal

Yes that's right, like the rest Sam Neil was born from the womb. With a irish mother, kiwi for a father, a great-grand father who helped to burn down he white house, the ability to create giant reptiles from DNA in a mosquito and his family owning the largest liquor retail stores in NZ (consisting of a giant 30m tank of beer from which the kiwi farmers could scoop out a glass) Sam got a great head start in life. But for some crazy reason, he decided not to destroy an American landmark but instead decided to be an actor.

And of course if you wanted to hit it big on the world stage as an actor, there was only one place to go. The New Zealand Film unit. So Sam headed back over to the homeland where he stared in his first movie, Snow White and the seven sheep in which Sam played one of the sheep, Flighty. Soon after he had a number of other local hits such has The GodRam, The GodRam 2, Fleece Wars Episode 5:The Black Ewe strikes back and 2001: A Paddock Odyssey.

[edit] Sam Moves to the Great Southern Land (as opposed to the more southern yet smaller land where they do naughty things to sheep)

Although he was becoming a local legend Neil relised he could go no further in NZ. He then moved to Australia where Aussies instantly claimed him as theirs and set about wiping any records that he was ever otherwise. It is rumored that this information along with evidence about pavlovas, Crowded House, Phar Lap and the Gallipoli Campaign (it was our military defeat, not yours, ours!) all lie hidden in John Howard's wardrobe never to be discovered.

[edit] Sam's acting Career Flourishes

From then on things only got better. Although he was turned down from the lead role in the next James Bond movie on the basis that he couldn't pull a stupid face well enough. Leaving this behind him though Sam moved on to greater things, and the one movie that would put him on the map of people who have done fight scenes with dinosaurs, Jurassic Park. After this huge amouunt of publicity he went on to make appear in many other films and tv shows such as:

• Cinema of Unease: A Personal Journey by Sam Neill
• He was in a Simpsons episode

Then Neil the had to make the desision of his life. He could either play some elf thing called Elpond or something in Lord of the Wool, which involved him having to go back to New Zealand (his uncle would force him to run the 30m beer tank again), dressing up and jumping around with pointed ears looking like a poof. OR... HE COULD STAR IN JURASSIC PARK 3!, an already stale seris that everyone had getting bored of The choice was obvious. So off Sam went to bash some dinosaur over the head with fire hydrant or something. Some say that since he got a very smug telephone call from Hugo Weaving on set about how much money he was raking in and how he might just get in a scene involving him, Cate Blanchett and a very revealing dress, and he regrets making that decision. This is a rumour Neil actively refutes.